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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Dartgod 38 74.51%
threebag02 13 25.49%
Voters: 51. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-15-2018, 11:48 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 23 - Dartgod versus threebag02

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - In free-fall at 20,000 feet, wearing parachutes, and with a snake and gator-filled swamp below you.
Starting Distance - 21 feet

Dartgod

Main Weapon - Indian razorwhip (Urumi)
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 14 Minutes
Special Factors - Naked East Asian women are screaming and running around panicked (Organizer note: in this situation you may assume that they're also free falling and wearing parachutes.)

threebag02

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Bowie knife

Prep Time - 3 Minutes
Special Factors - You ate some really, really bad sushi the night before and are afflicted with a violent case of diarrhea
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Old 07-15-2018, 11:50 AM   #2
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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On a side note, I almost had a name spoonerism, and discovered that a great spoof account of Dartgod would be named Dartbag.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 11:52 AM   #3
Carr4MVP Carr4MVP is offline
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The razor whip sword is difficult to master but he has plenty of time to figure it out.
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Old 07-15-2018, 11:57 AM   #4
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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This is a very rare situation where diarrhea could actually be used as a weapon.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 12:12 PM   #5
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Dartgod uses Indian razorwhipon threebag02's parachute, game over.
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digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 12:17 PM   #6
Otter Otter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by digger View Post
Dartgod uses Indian razorwhipon threebag02's parachute, game over.
That's a good point. Those razor whips have double or triple the reach of a bat as well.

Thinking...
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Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 12:18 PM   #7
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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I honestly have no idea.
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Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 12:22 PM   #8
cabletech94 cabletech94 is offline
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gravity wins. everytime.......
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Old 07-15-2018, 12:39 PM   #9
TLO TLO is offline
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Dartgod in a blowout
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TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.TLO Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:30 PM   #10
stumppy stumppy is offline
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That razor whip will be of no use in freefall. All threebag has to do is deploy his chute immediately. Let Dong hit the swamp first and try and fight off the gators while 3bag floats down and clubs Dong like a baby seal.

Winner-threebag
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stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:49 PM   #11
Pestilence Pestilence is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy View Post
That razor whip will be of no use in freefall. All threebag has to do is deploy his chute immediately. Let Dong hit the swamp first and try and fight off the gators while 3bag floats down and clubs Dong like a baby seal.

Winner-threebag
Why couldn’t Dartgod do the same thing?
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Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pestilence is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:51 PM   #12
digger digger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy View Post
That razor whip will be of no use in freefall. All threebag has to do is deploy his chute immediately. Let Dong hit the swamp first and try and fight off the gators while 3bag floats down and clubs Dong like a baby seal.

Winner-threebag

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digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 02:51 PM   #13
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They're both gonna get a good view of flapping Asian titties and whistling vaginas, before both contestants ultimately meet their death by swamp gators.
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TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 03:44 PM   #14
threebag02 threebag02 is offline
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Dart's cords/chute are destroyed by the Urumi. He free falls to his death. I laugh and shit myself
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threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 03:48 PM   #15
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestilence View Post
Why couldn’t Dartgod do the same thing?
The 3bag reaches the swamp first, uses his bat and Bowie knife to fend off the gators until Dart floats in only to get a bat upside his head or a Bowie knife to the gut.
No way a whip beats a bat w/ nails and a Bowie knife loses to a whip.
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stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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