New Dating Megathread

[Buck]

Luv's old thread is in the HOC for being too big.

Post all your dating questions, comments, concerns, advice, and scrutiny in here!

[ThaVirus]

I still find myself deeply entrenched in the double standard between men and women when it comes to sex. I've had more sex partners than I'd like a woman with whom I may get serious to have had throughout her lifetime.

I can't explain it.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by Shag

You don't know how you'll be personally compatible in 5 or 10 years, either. People change in a lot of ways, and nobody can say what a relationship might be after a period of time.

For most people, dating is shopping for a long term mate, and sex is generally part of the "shopping list" - finding someone that's compatible with you in as many ways as possible. I know I would never marry someone I'd not had sex with, much as I wouldn't marry someone with whom I hadn't had serious conversations about family, money, kids, etc.

And I fully disagree that sex becomes less important - I think that's one of the reasons there's so much infidelity, and may be more important over time, though likely less frequent. Sex is a way to retain intimacy and physical closeness with someone, which has a tendency to fade out. Maybe you're not getting it on twice a day, but IMHO, an active sex life is paramount to the success of many relationships.

My $.02...

Sex becomes less important *relative* to the other things that become more important. I'm not disagreeing with you about it's continuing importance. I'm saying that other things that are less important on day 1 of a marriage become more important later. Kids are a good example of this.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Bowser

Probably, unfortunately.

Men have problems with women that are confident enough to live the way they want, as well, thus why men feel the need to label those they would try to "break down" to make them feel "superior". We don't live in "Leave it to Beaver" times anymore.

It's all about the whys and not the how manys. Both sexes often screw for self esteem. For every cool and casual couple of friends that have nothing more than a smile and a high five as they get out of bed and go in their separate ways, there's someone ****ing just to prove they can... Damn the consequences.

I'm down with my daughter embracing her shower massager until Prince Charming comes. I'm also fully prepared to be Nana K or Miss K or Lola K or some bastardized version of a grandma within the next decade.

[Canofbier]

Originally Posted by patteeu

I don't understand this response:

If the girl is repulsed by sex and you don't want to have a relationship with her because of that, then don't. You don't need to have sex with her to figure this out.

And I'm not sure where you get this theory:

I liked her for a dozen other reasons, but ultimately there was a piece missing from our relationship that contributed to its demise. The lack of physical intimacy definitely caused us to be less close than we would have been otherwise. I think she can/will have relationship success with a man who feels the same way, but that falls under the category of "unusual circumstances".

As for the second bit: it's literally written in human genetic code to not only desire sex, but to bond with those who you have it with. This is true of women, especially. There are exceptions, but both scientific and anecdotal evidence points to the fact that sexless relationships often result in incomplete, less-happy-than-they-could-be partnerships.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Mosbullshittian

I see guys like GoChiefs coming a mile away when it comes to the guys that ask her out. I've been smart enough to teach her where the pretenders play...

You are an idiot. I'm not a hit it and quit it kind of guy. I don't even go to the bars.

What's the point of not having sex before marriage, again? Please explain.

[TambaBerry]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I still find myself deeply entrenched in the double standard between men and women when it comes to sex. I've had more sex partners than I'd like a woman with whom I may get serious to have had throughout her lifetime.

I can't explain it.

To me its guys are sticking their dick into something so it doesn't seem as bad. Women are getting stuff put into them which in my head seems wrong.

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I still find myself deeply entrenched in the double standard between men and women when it comes to sex. I've had more sex partners than I'd like a woman with whom I may get serious to have had throughout her lifetime.

I can't explain it.

Which is a dichotomy that has existed for ages....More times than not, men want women who don't have a history of revolving bedsprings. But they want to experience as much sex as possible for themselves before settling down.

I can't explain it anymore than you can...but I can tell you my view has changed simply because I am now a Father.

[Titty Meat]

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP

This debate is boring.

This.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

You are an idiot. I'm not a hit it and quit it kind of guy. I don't even go to the bars.

What's the point of not having sex before marriage, again? Please explain.

You should fix your quote. Those aren't my words.

And you've distorted Mosbonian's position anyway. He asked the question, what's wrong with a girl who decides to wait until marriage and he pointed out that some of your attitudes about sex relative to a long term relationship are a little naive. He didn't come on hard telling people they shouldn't have sex before marriage.

[sedated]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I still find myself deeply entrenched in the double standard between men and women when it comes to sex. I've had more sex partners than I'd like a woman with whom I may get serious to have had throughout her lifetime.

I can't explain it.

The history of the species in biological evolution terms is a pretty easy explanation. Men are hunters and programmed to spread as much seed as possible. Women have the most to "lose" by engaging in sex, so they are programmed to be more defensive and selective. The biological factors are reflected in our psychological perception.

[ThaVirus]

Something that I've thought of in the past, is how that may play a role in sexual experience as well.

No woman wants a man that is terrible in bed and the best way to get better is with practice. Guys would prefer a woman that has a bit of experience (without sampling all the dipsticks), but how bad can a woman really be at sex? Most of them just lay there anyway

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by patteeu

He didn't come on hard telling people they shouldn't have sex before marriage.

That's exactly what he believes everyone should do. And that's the only thing I've ever been talking about.

He introduced all these other factors. Not me. He tried to take a conversation about pre-wedding sex and twist it.

He's FOS.

[ghak99]

Originally Posted by sedated

The history of the species in biological evolution terms is a pretty easy explanation. Men are hunters and programmed to spread as much seed as possible. Women have the most to "lose" by engaging in sex, so they are programmed to be more defensive and selective. The biological factors are reflected in our psychological perception.

Is our long term "evolutionary programming" a factor in the current divorce rate? Did we evolve into long term monogamy or slow the system by using it as a crutch? Should we, as a species, even be monogamous for long periods of time if children are not currently being raised?

I can attest to this being a conversation you should never have with a woman you're dating.

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

That's exactly what he believes everyone should do. And that's the only thing I've ever been talking about.

He introduced all these other factors. Not me. He tried to take a conversation about pre-wedding sex and twist it.

He's FOS.

I can see you have no ability to see past the end of your Johnson....and is anyone if FOS when it comes to relationships it is you. I've been married to the same woman happily for 30 years.

The only relationship you have had that lasted longer than 30 days is the one with your right hand I am betting.

[lcarus]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

I have a new question for you.

What is wrong with premarital sex, in a loving, committed relationship again? This wasn't explained to me.

Please explain why it's so wrong.

Is burning in hell for all of eternity that hard to understand? Get your heart right with Jesus, douche bag. You ejaculating monster.