One of my colleagues from college married a former student of his

[SNR]

I found this out via facebook.

I went to grad school with this guy. We were acquaintances, but never really friends. Ideal facebook friends, in other words.

He got a job teaching at a college. In his first year he would have taught her when she was a freshman. She's two years removed from being his student. He's 12 years older than her.

There's nothing immoral about this, but am I wrong in thinking this is just a taaaaad bit creepy?

I mean, if they were doing this the right/moral way, they wouldn't have had any romantic involvement with each other whatsoever two years ago. Meaning they had two years to decide they wanted to elevate the mentor/mentoree relationship to something intimate. Then they had to get engaged and married. All in two years. That's it. Two years.

Whatevs. They're happy, I guess. Just... oh who am I kidding. That's gross. That's ****ing gross. It's weird and disgusting and I don't like it. Blech.

EDIT: Not that this matters since the conversation is dying down now, but to be clear my issue with the relationship is NOT about age. She could go marry a 100-year old incontinent man. I don't give a shit. My issue is that there was very likely stuff going on between them while he was still her professor. No, it's not a big deal to me. It's just off-putting and sets off the alarm.

The next person who posts, "there's nothing wrong with that my dad was 34 years older than my mom..." gets a big fat **** you.

[milkman]

Originally Posted by Al Bundy

I didn't realize Ultra was a chick. I learn something new every day.

And forget what you learned yesterday, every day.

[loochy]

So, is she hot? That's really all that matters. If she's hot it's OK. If she's not hot, then it's disgusting and immoral.

THE END

[scho63]

Originally Posted by SNR

She's two years removed from being his student. He's 12 years older than her.

There's nothing immoral about this, but am I wrong in thinking this is just a taaaaad bit creepy?

Lucky bastard if she is hot and sorry sap if she is frumpy and wants to find a sugar daddy

[Ultra Peanut]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I understand that UP just wants to feel and be treated like a normal person. Unfortunately, transgender operations aren't something that is normal for the average person. We don't have any way of processing it. So no matter how many times we're told how to be sensitive and respectful, it's impossible to phrase anything at all in a way that isn't deemed offensive to a transgendered person.

It's not that hard to avoid saying shit that offends and upsets people whose life experiences are vastly different than your own. You know what this mystical secret is? Actually listening when someone tries to explain why the thing you said was ignorant and/or hurtful to them, intentional or no, and making an effort to avoid doing that in the future. I regularly interact with lots of cis people who somehow manage to not upset me or even remark upon my trans history without me initiating discussion about it. They're not superhuman, they just care enough to educate themselves and not subject me to exhausting, frustrating, endlessly repetitive conversations that I've had hundreds of times before.

Originally Posted by Phobia

I feel like the best policy is to probably just avoid any aspect of that discusssion. If we had a rape survivor on the planet, we wouldn't say - "you probably feel this way about abc because of that brutal rape you survived in '97". Ultra Peanut just wants to interact here without the crap about her former peanus. I don't blame her for that. I'm extremely proud that I can even naturally call her "her". That took years for me to rationalize. I'm not trying to be a dick about any of this - just explain in 10,000 words or less that I think it's probably a topic that should just be avoided. Finally, I'm not taking any mod action or making any rules about it. This is just my random observation from where I sit as a user of this site. Please correct me if I'm wrong about something, Ms. Peanut.

This is more or less the point I was trying to make, yes. Sometimes I feel up to talking about trans issues, but usually it's something I'm not thinking about at all until the discussion is foisted upon me completely at random by someone who has less than zero idea what they're talking about.

At this point I'm fine with sticking mostly to the soccer and wrestling threads, where the regular posters mostly get it and there's less chance of shit like the above happening. I was just popping in to share a glib anecdote about the awkwardness of that teacher-student situation while basking in the high of one of the best soccer matches I've ever watched, and I ended up spending a couple of hours and god knows how many words trying to explain to capone why his invocation of my trans status as some kind of bludgeon was unbelievably unwelcome to absolutely no avail. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have posted at all and would have spent that time banging my head against a wall. I'd have had less of a headache.

[stevieray]

[HemiEd]

2 years is an eternity in these kinds of things, don't see an issue.

My wife and I knew each other less than a month and it has lasted 41 years.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by the_spatula

I agree, in principle, with this policy. However, I regard human love as an extremely complex phenomenon, and one that transcends bullshit "policies" and "ethical perspectives" and what not. Good on them that they were able to wait two years after the teacher-student thing. Shame on OP and the rest of you for judging them.

Intelligent people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

Their love is not of your concern.

Holy shit. I'm going to use that line. Very nice.

[BIG_DADDY]

Good for him.

[durtyrute]

Is it spelled noneya or nunya?

[BIG_DADDY]

Originally Posted by Al Bundy

I didn't realize Ultra was a chick. I learn something new every day.

Things change. Maybe I should say thingies change.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by Al Bundy

I didn't realize Ultra was a chick. I learn something new every day.

WAS or IS? I still don't know what pronoun to use for him or her.

[Ultra Peanut]

I am a fancy + also super dainty lady. Let's go ride bikes.