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Old 01-04-2011, 07:55 AM  
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
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Old 01-04-2011, 07:56 AM   #2
Over-Head Over-Head is offline
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first in with "Antifreeze"

Give it some time.
Ya know what they say "If you love it let it go,,if it comes back...."
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:00 AM   #3
suds79 suds79 is offline
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Hard to judge things right at this point. Probably thinking a lot of things given it was just yesterday.

My wife & I when we were dating broke up for a short time that feel like it was over for good. Finally wising up, I settled down and made the changes that needed to be made as we were at the time long distance. Begged her to give me another chance. Best move I ever made.

Unfortunately, sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

Good luck.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:00 AM   #4
HMc HMc is offline
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cease contact initiation. If she texts you, don't write back for some hours. DONT apologise for the delay. If she calls, don't answer, and text back some hours later.

You have to be in demand, not supply.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:02 AM   #5
Rukdafaidas Rukdafaidas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Over-Head View Post
first in with "Antifreeze"

Give it some time.
Ya know what they say "If you love it let it go,,if it comes back...."
This.
You both need some time away. You'll get back together if it's meant to be.l
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:02 AM   #6
HMc HMc is offline
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re: above poster - things are fundamentally different when you're married.

Do not, i repeat DO NOT, beg her to let you back. Act like you're peachy without her and she'll be begging you to take her back before you know it.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:03 AM   #7
FAX FAX is offline
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Classic situation, Mr. Pushead2.

It's time for you to choose between your one true love and serial killing.

Seriously, it sounds like she feels pressured and backed away. Classic stuff. Here's what you do ... focus on yourself. Do all the right things you need to do ... for you. Do not cling ... this is very important ... clinging is bad. Real bad. Just focus on your life and what you can do to improve and take care of yourself. After awhile, things will work out. It won't take long. Girls fall in love with you for a reason ... give them a better reason.

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Old 01-04-2011, 08:05 AM   #8
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Time to find someone new, i never bought into that i love you but i'm not in love with you. Sorry man but it's for the best you find another.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:09 AM   #9
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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yeah I feel the working on myself part, I'm almost done with my college degree & I play in 3 hockey leagues including one that travels across the US & Canada on tournaments. So I am busy myself. I think the part that hurts the most for me is the best friend part. The routine of talking day & night, that gets to me. I'm on the road for a tournament in January, my alternate captain of my team is a single dude in his late 30s. So when I spoke to him last night he was saying that would be a good test for both y'all. Will she notice? Will she care you're away?
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:09 AM   #10
KC Jones KC Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
fight for the girl I love / my best friend.
As many have already said, the only way you will be successful in this is to focus on yourself and prepare to move on. If you pursue her, it's over. If you try to move on, she'll likely pursue you and you have successfully 'fought' for her.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:09 AM   #11
FAX FAX is offline
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I always think of relationships as having tension ... kind of like two people being connected by a rubber band like Kate Bush talks about.

When there's no tension, there's no fun ... or excitement. Thing is, if you want the girl to snap back closer to you, you have to lean back and create more tension. When you lean back enough, eventually she comes flying forward. Funny how that works.

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Old 01-04-2011, 08:10 AM   #12
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This means the Chiefs will win this weekend.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:10 AM   #13
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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another thing is she has NO family here in NYC & very little friends....She's from Oklahoma but came here to go to NYU.

So the fact that she's willing to accept being VERY lonely is making me think it's over but at the same time thinking once she sees how lonely she will be she'll think twice.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:11 AM   #14
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC Jones View Post
As many have already said, the only way you will be successful in this is to focus on yourself and prepare to move on. If you pursue her, it's over. If you try to move on, she'll likely pursue you and you have successfully 'fought' for her.
Definitely, without a doubt 100% I will be focusing on myself. I'm not to wallow in self pity. I will move on & take care of things for myself.
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Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:12 AM   #15
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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This means the Chiefs will win this weekend.
I'll buy that for a $1
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Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Pushead2 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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