Life Bum laid out in heap neighbors driveway - Page 2

**srvy** · 07-03-2018, 01:40 PM

So early this morning about 4:15 my wife comes home from work all excited and scared. She hollers there is a dead guy in our neighbors driveway. I jump out bed have asleep and run towards front door. Still not comprehending what she means and make sure she is safe in house.

I step out in underwear and bare feet and sure as shit looks like dead guy piled up at end neighbors drive. He is laying half out into curb knees up and upper torso in driveway. The strange thing was one arm is stuck straight in air. I watch a while and this dude isnt moving.

So I go in throw on some shorts and shoes and grab an 8 iron I keep behind bed. I approach and dont see any blood pooled and his arm moves a little. I get thinking what if a car comes by they are gonna thing I beat the daylights out this fellow with a golf club

. I yell out about three times hey bud you ok and nothing. So I nudge his shoulder a couple times with end club and he say go away leave me alone and I could tell he was drunk and probably more he reeked alcohol. I said buddy I got to move you out street and to side driveway. Again I get leave me alone so I grab his legs and pull him out street and off side in grass. Bastard tried to kick me then out cold again.

I get thinking do I call police or is this a friend of my neighbor and I will ruin his 4th holiday. So I knock on there door and no one answers. I go in to try to find a phone number but hell nobody has a land line anymore. By now its about 5:30 suns coming up Im about to call I take another look out and a police cruiser is at his driveway. I watch and see he and partner cuff the guy and put him in back and wander the property to see if things have been disturbed.

Well to end this long story I went out and talked to the officer and explained what I seen and that I had moved him. He told me this is a bum who they have had run in's that wander the neighborhoods checking for unlocked cars and things left out to pawn. They live in the woods behind Penguin Park as soon as they run them in they are out in less that a week and go right back to the park.

In all this I never thought to grab my carry gun stupid no telling what this dude was on.

cooper barrett · 07-03-2018, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by srvy

So early this morning about 4:15 my wife comes home from work all excited and scared. She hollers there is a dead guy in our neighbors driveway. I jump out bed have asleep and run towards front door. Still not comprehending what she means and make sure she is safe in house.

I step out in underwear and bare feet and sure as shit looks like dead guy piled up at end neighbors drive. He is laying half out into curb knees up and upper torso in driveway. The strange thing was one arm is stuck straight in air. I watch a while and this dude isnt moving.

So I go in throw on some shorts and shoes and grab an 8 iron I keep behind bed. You should really take your caddy's advice.

I approach and dont see any blood pooled and his arm moves a little. I get thinking what if a car comes by they are gonna thing I beat the daylights out this fellow with a golf club

. I yell out about three times hey bud you ok and nothing. So I nudge his shoulder a couple times with end club and he say go away leave me alone and I could tell he was drunk and probably more he reeked alcohol. I said buddy I got to move you out street and to side driveway. Again I get leave me alone so I grab his legs and pull him out street and off side in grass. Bastard tried to kick me then out cold again.

I get thinking do I call police or is this a friend of my neighbor and I will ruin his 4th holiday. So I knock on there door and no one answers. I go in to try to find a phone number but hell nobody has a land line anymore. By now its about 5:30 suns coming up Im about to call I take another look out and a police cruiser is at his driveway. I watch and see he and partner cuff the guy and put him in back and wander the property to see if things have been disturbed.

Well to end this long story I went out and talked to the officer and explained what I seen and that I had moved him. He told me this is a bum who they have had run in's that wander the neighborhoods checking for unlocked cars and things left out to pawn. They live in the woods behind Penguin Park as soon as they run them in they are out in less that a week and go right back to the park.

In all this I never thought to grab my carry gun stupid no telling what this dude was on.

Glad you had no real excitement. I recall a porno that started with a drunk
being roused after sleeping it off in a guys driveway...

ClevelandBronco · 07-03-2018, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by srvy

In all this I never thought to grab my carry gun stupid no telling what this dude was on.

He probably wasn't on the sort of shit that makes people eat faces. Those guys don't sleep in driveways.

displacedinMN · 07-03-2018, 02:47 PM

We had a Neighborhood Watch Meeting last night. A police officer was there and said you should always call the police.

**srvy** · 07-03-2018, 02:55 PM

Yeah I should have but the neighbor has a lot of parties with a lot of drinking going on so I hesitated. Turns out he is out town and no one was home.

ChiliConCarnage · 07-03-2018, 02:59 PM

Who knew Sloth from the Goonies posted here

KCUnited · 07-03-2018, 03:01 PM

Should've cuffed him with FLEXSEAL.

**LoneWolf** · 07-03-2018, 03:19 PM

JFC, is English your second language? The OP reads like it was written by an eight year old.

ModSocks · 07-03-2018, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

if you squint really hard when you ready Srvy's OP....you'd think KCNut wrote it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RockChalk

Did you do talk-to-text on this?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

JFC, is English your second language? The OP reads like it was written by an eight year old.

You guys are brutal.

I didn't even notice until i re-read it. Apparently my brain has an auto-correct feature when reading posts.

SuperBowl4 · 07-03-2018, 03:28 PM

First thing I would have asked him was - are you a CHIEFS fan?

**srvy** · 07-03-2018, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

JFC, is English your second language? The OP reads like it was written by an eight year old.

**Baby Lee** · 07-03-2018, 03:45 PM

srvy only pawn in game of life

**LoneWolf** · 07-03-2018, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by srvy

Memes and gifs are right up your alley. No spelling or grammar needed.

**HemiEd** · 07-03-2018, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

if you squint really hard when you ready Srvy's OP....you'd think KCNut wrote it.

Ok, you got me to really laugh out loud.

Pasta Little Brioni · 07-03-2018, 10:11 PM

He was hired by Rainman testing his gladIator tourney in real life

UL Washington · 07-03-2018, 10:23 PM

Nothing worse than Penguin Park bums I tell yah...

07-03-2018, 01:40 PM
srvy Fight, build, win! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: KC Casino cash: $1711250	Bum laid out in heap neighbors driveway So early this morning about 4:15 my wife comes home from work all excited and scared. She hollers there is a dead guy in our neighbors driveway. I jump out bed have asleep and run towards front door. Still not comprehending what she means and make sure she is safe in house. I step out in underwear and bare feet and sure as shit looks like dead guy piled up at end neighbors drive. He is laying half out into curb knees up and upper torso in driveway. The strange thing was one arm is stuck straight in air. I watch a while and this dude isnt moving. So I go in throw on some shorts and shoes and grab an 8 iron I keep behind bed. I approach and dont see any blood pooled and his arm moves a little. I get thinking what if a car comes by they are gonna thing I beat the daylights out this fellow with a golf club. I yell out about three times hey bud you ok and nothing. So I nudge his shoulder a couple times with end club and he say go away leave me alone and I could tell he was drunk and probably more he reeked alcohol. I said buddy I got to move you out street and to side driveway. Again I get leave me alone so I grab his legs and pull him out street and off side in grass. Bastard tried to kick me then out cold again. I get thinking do I call police or is this a friend of my neighbor and I will ruin his 4th holiday. So I knock on there door and no one answers. I go in to try to find a phone number but hell nobody has a land line anymore. By now its about 5:30 suns coming up Im about to call I take another look out and a police cruiser is at his driveway. I watch and see he and partner cuff the guy and put him in back and wander the property to see if things have been disturbed. Well to end this long story I went out and talked to the officer and explained what I seen and that I had moved him. He told me this is a bum who they have had run in's that wander the neighborhoods checking for unlocked cars and things left out to pawn. They live in the woods behind Penguin Park as soon as they run them in they are out in less that a week and go right back to the park. In all this I never thought to grab my carry gun stupid no telling what this dude was on.
Posts: 24,351

07-03-2018, 02:47 PM	#18
displacedinMN It was not a fair catch Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Correcting papers Casino cash: $2982630	We had a Neighborhood Watch Meeting last night. A police officer was there and said you should always call the police. __________________ #investigatecarlcheffers
Posts: 36,238

07-03-2018, 02:55 PM	#19
srvy Fight, build, win! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: KC Casino cash: $1711250	Yeah I should have but the neighbor has a lot of parties with a lot of drinking going on so I hesitated. Turns out he is out town and no one was home. __________________ "The victim stance is a powerful one. The victim is always morally right, neither responsible nor accountable, and forever entitled to sympathy."
Posts: 24,351

07-03-2018, 02:59 PM	#20
ChiliConCarnage TACO SALAD Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: yes Casino cash: $1838468	Who knew Sloth from the Goonies posted here
Posts: 5,849

07-03-2018, 03:01 PM	#21
KCUnited Cheat Death Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Land of Drincoln Casino cash: $2328244	Should've cuffed him with FLEXSEAL.
Posts: 33,875	1 0

07-03-2018, 03:19 PM	#22
LoneWolf Constable of Untruths Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $1771084	JFC, is English your second language? The OP reads like it was written by an eight year old.
Posts: 14,995	2 0

07-03-2018, 03:28 PM	#24
SuperBowl4 MVP Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: HERMOSA BEACH,CA Casino cash: $8034900	First thing I would have asked him was - are you a CHIEFS fan?
Posts: 13,560

07-03-2018, 03:45 PM	#26
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6838598	srvy only pawn in game of life __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642

07-03-2018, 10:11 PM	#29
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $4018880	He was hired by Rainman testing his gladIator tourney in real life __________________ **Official TFWdemB Trivia Commisioner**
Posts: 68,382

07-03-2018, 10:23 PM	#30
UL Washington Toothpick Assasin Join Date: Aug 2006 Casino cash: $9936607	Nothing worse than Penguin Park bums I tell yah... __________________
Posts: 251