Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing?

[Jenson71]

Just wondering what the practice/custom is.

[penguinz]

No, not his decision.

[Dayze]

i think it truly does vary n a case by case basis.

the girl/woman's relation ship with her father, and or family.

knowing how big family was to her, well Family, I wanted to do it.
It would not have gone over well had I not from a disrespect POV. But, it worked out because I would've done it anyway.

and, as Okoye said, I don't think it's so much of asking for permission these days, but a blessing. The blessing can be denied, and yiou'll be married anyway etc, but a blessing (depending on the sort of family you're entering into) would be gravy.

of course, if you don't get a blessing, it's probably because you're a dirtbag, or the father is a prick. I'd say any stand-up, grown man would get a blessing otherwise.

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by Dayze

i think it truly does vary n a case by case basis.

the girl/woman's relation ship with her father, and or family.

knowing how big family was to her, well Family, I wanted to do it.
It would not have gone over well had I not from a disrespect situation. But, it worked out because I would've done it anyway.

Yes, in your situation, it seemed sort of compelled. If you have a daughter, are you going to seek to continue that tradition?

I do have to say, though, that it's more than a little ironic that your in-laws are divorced.

[morphius]

I didn't ask, but he was there when I proposed. Her Mom knew it was coming though.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Dayze

i think it truly does vary n a case by case basis.

the girl/woman's relation ship with her father, and or family.

This.

And for the record if you feel like you have to odds are you'll end up a much more happy husband...

[okoye35chiefs]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

As a tip, sometimes you have to sweeten the deal with a couple of goats.

Hey don't laugh..my off the boat italian Father in law brought a goat to the house the day he asked his future wife's father for his blessing in Italy. Of course this was the 30's.

When I asked him for his blessing I only brought a bottle of wine...

[Canofbier]

Never been married, have no kids. For now I'd err on the side of not asking. It seems outdated and very mildly sexist. I'm young, but I've never been in a serious relationship with a woman who seemed to find things like that important.

That being said, I don't feel so strongly about it that I wouldn't do it if I knew that it was important to either my fiancee or her family. It's a small thing to do if it means gaining the respect and affection of people you're probably going to be around the rest of your life.

[Mr. Plow]

My future in laws didn't like me, and I didn't really care for them....so no. And I don't feel the slightest bit bad about it.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Literature

Yes, in your situation, it seemed sort of compelled. If you have a daughter, are you going to seek to continue that tradition?

I do have to say, though, that it's more than a little ironic that your in-laws are divorced.

hhmm. Good question. as of now, I would say 'yes' from the standoint of respect and appreciation.

good point. they're seriously the only ones that I know of that are divorced in her entire huge family/extended family.

[phisherman]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

My future in laws didn't like me, and I didn't really care for them....so no. And I don't feel the slightest bit bad about it.

This. 1000%.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Canofbier

Never been married, have no kids. For now I'd err on the side of not asking. It seems outdated and very mildly sexist. I'm young, but I've never been in a serious relationship with a woman who seemed to find things like that important.

Exactly.

You're not a father yet.

Imagine the best outcome of any woman you might want to date right now. She's perfect. You get married.

Then Imagine (yeah, I was like 25 before this hit me) that in this perfect life some half-whit-low-britches-tard has convinced your precious that he's the best thing since rock music on the radio.

He doesn't give a $3it if you like him either...

[InChiefsHeaven]

Originally Posted by Literature

Were you planning on marrying her before she became pregnant?

No. I was just graduated and she had a couple years to go. Basically after surviving getting her pregnant without her father killing me, I figured I'd see how things were going. We wound up moving in together first and so it naturally led to marriage.

I don't recommend that course of action, by the way. We were lucky and blessed. Most high school marriages over a baby wind up failing.

20 years and counting for us.

[kc rush]

I didn't, but I figured he wouldn't have a problem with it since he suggested we move in together before we were even engaged. He and I get along together great. I've been with my wife for 23 years now, and married for almost 19 of those years.

[Red Beans]

Didn't. Kind of wish I had in retrospect. Not a big deal though...

[Dayze]

lots of good perspectives in here; truly.

I also think if the daughter is extremely close to her father, that it would impact the decision as well.

But again.....lots of variables in the decision.