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Old 01-24-2015, 04:51 PM  
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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Good news

I thought I'd start a new thread for updates on my cancer treatments and whatever else is going on, since the bad news thread title is misleading now.

My last treatment went better than the previous two and my chest wound is still closed up, which is a good thing. My arm is getting slightly stronger and I hope to resume lifting dumbbells next week. I need to build up my strength again, because I am going back to Denmark in May and I am extremely pumped about that! I'd like to be able to schlepp my own checked bag and not have someone else lifting it for me.

It's going to be a fabulous trip, 6 weeks and a couple of days for me. My brother is going along as well as my friends Chipp and Rod. Chipp is staying close to 3 weeks and has not gone with me over there since 2006 so he is also very pumped to be going. It will be Rod's first trip and he will be there for 2 weeks. I will get to be a tour guide. Also, I am throwing a party in my favorite pub of all, the wonderful, ever-magnificent Irish House in Aalborg on May 7th. The owner and I are friends and he will give me a little discount. We'll have Irish stew and brews in the cellar and I hope to have around 25 family and friends there. I might bill it as the "Fu** Cancer Party." A few months back, I was not sure I'd ever be able to go over to Denmark again or if I'd even be alive, but the cancer hasn't gotten me yet. I'm doing a number on it, instead.

Some other cool things I plan to do when I am back in my ancestral lands include a wine tasting in a castle, touring another castle and the northernmost manor home in the country, and visiting Skagen, the top of Denmark, where you can stand on a little patch of beach and have one foot in one sea and one in another. They also have a brewpub up there I am wanting to check out. I will start and end my trip in Aalborg and spend 5 weeks in an apartment I rent that is very close to the beach. I can hardly wait for May 4th to roll around!
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Old 04-19-2017, 08:02 PM   #2401
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Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed View Post
Just look within you, let me inspire you as needed, but don't think of yourself as a pussy. Explore your inner strengths instead because every tiny drop of positivity builds up, as does negativity. Like a pot of water, sometimes just a little drop of negativity will spill over if the pot was fed negative feelings and thoughts. Don't shrug it off as just a little drop in bucket. Let that positive pan fill up, even a drop at a time. In that case if the thing overflows and makes a puddle, it's a good thing. Drink some down, fill 'er up again! It does make a true difference. Simply speaking, life is a series of choices, some good and some bad. It is of course much more complex than that, but it is the core of things. Some choices are easy, and others hard when the options are bad choice and even worse choice. Life is such a precious gift and we deserve peace, joy, and love in all our lives. Often it is an internal battle, but that is an obstacle we face and so worth the fight to have those good things. Arm and strengthen yourself with positivity because negativity can not prevail over that. Say to yourself, that negative force is blocking me from things that are MINE and I will have them back because I deserve them. Then head in and win that battlefield over and take what is yours back. You will feel the difference in your personal outlook and your being. It's powerful stuff.
Thank you so much for that Ed
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:32 PM   #2402
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First class ed. First class. I'll be visiting this thread for years to come.
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Old 04-19-2017, 10:06 PM   #2403
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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You sound as lucid and intelligent as ever, Fast Eddie... are you staying comfortable?
I have been having absolute fits with muscles knotting up and feeling like they are twisting into pretzels, so I am very regular with the pain pills. Three nights back it was so bad, a 7 on the 1 to 10 pin scale, and I called my nurse at midnight to see what else I could do on top of the pills. She told me and said if it isn't better in an hour or so, call her right back and she'd get out of bed and come over to attend to me.

If my back isn't making me want to dig those muscles out with a screw driver, then I am MUCH more comfortable.
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Old 04-19-2017, 10:15 PM   #2404
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Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed View Post
I have been having absolute fits with muscles knotting up and feeling like they are twisting into pretzels, so I am very regular with the pain pills. Three nights back it was so bad, a 7 on the 1 to 10 pin scale, and I called my nurse at midnight to see what else I could do on top of the pills. She told me and said if it isn't better in an hour or so, call her right back and she'd get out of bed and come over to attend to me.

If my back isn't making me want to dig those muscles out with a screw driver, then I am MUCH more comfortable.
Sorry to hear brother. If it continues take the nurse up on her offer to help, she sounds like a winner.
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Old 04-19-2017, 10:34 PM   #2405
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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I have to share something with all of you about something a Planeteer did for me. I will not give his name or handle out because I don't know if he would want to stay anonymous or not, so I will play it safe and keep his name out of it.

I got a PM and this man whom I have never met face to face said he sent me via UPS an authentic Chiefs helmet signed by Derrick Thomas. I was and still am blown away. He wanted to thank me in a big way for how I have affected his life. I am so moved, humbled, and grateful for such an incredible gesture.

Now, don't go saying to yourselves that you should send me things, too. You all have given so much back to me already. When I read posts about how I have inspired you, made you look at life in a different and better way, and how you want to get more involved in your faith through the church, it warms my heart so deeply.

If I have had such an impact on even just 100 of you, then I am glad to be going through this. Every pain, twinge, surgery, and all the other things I am enduring is worth it because when I prayed to God, saying, "Lord, with whatever time I have left, please let me be able to do some good." That prayer was answered quickly and clearly with no subtlety.

I was looking back at my life the other day and I remembered the first time I truly helped someone. I was in 4th grade and at recess, a saw a small crowd at the edge of the cornfield (yep, school was out in the farmland) and they were gathered around Larry, a retarded boy whose mind was like a 7 year old at best and he'd be that way for life. I knew they had to be making fun of him somehow. As I approached I heard a boy tell Larry that an old dried out to white piece of dog feces was a hotdog and he should eat it because it was such a good hotdog. Then poor Larry took a bite and they all scattered laughing or said ewwww, gross!

I went to Larry's side, just the two of us now as the others went back to the playground. I remembered Jesus saying that which you do to the least of you, you do unto me. I told Larry to never trust them and that it was poison, not food. He seemed confused a bit so I repeated, never eat that, it will make you very sick. He nodded and had a sad look on his face as he dropped the crusty dog turd. I think I walked back to the playground with him and played tether ball or kick ball. When we were called to line up, the special needs students were in their line and the rest of us in another. I said, "Hey, Larry, do the fire engine sound from that show Emergency. My teacher got in my face and said not to tease him. I said I wasn't and Larry is really good at it. So I said it again to him and he cut loose, sounding just like the fire truck siren. He did that wail and said, "Emergency!" and ended with some more siren sounds. I clapped and said, "That was great, Larry!" He didn't speak but had a big smile on his big sweet innocent face.

Last edited by Lonewolf Ed; 04-19-2017 at 11:02 PM..
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Old 04-19-2017, 10:44 PM   #2406
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I have to share something with all of you about something a Planeteer did for me. I will not give his name or handle out because I don't know if he would want to stay anonymous or not, so I will play it safe and keep his name out of it.

I got a PM and this man whom I have never met face to face said he sent me via UPS an authentic Chiefs helmet signed by Derrick Thomas. I was and still am blown away. He wanted to thank me in a big way for how I have affected his life. I am so moved, humbled, and grateful for such an incredible gesture.

Now, don't go saying to yourselves that you should send me things, too. You all have given so much back to me already. When I read posts about how I have inspired you, made you look at life in a different and better way, and how you want to get more involved in your faith through the church, it warms my heart so deeply.

If I have had such an impact on even just 100 of you, then I am glad to be going through this. Every pain, twinge, surgery, and all the other things I am enduring is worth it because when I prayed to God, saying, "Lord, with whatever time I have left, please let me be able to do some good." That prayer was answered quickly and clearly with no subtlety.

I was looking back at my life the other day and I remembered the first time I truly helped someone. I was in 4th grade and at recess, a saw a small crowd at the edge of the cornfield (yep, school was out in the farmland) and they were gathered around Larry, a retarded boy whose mind was like a 7 year old at best and he'd be that way for life. I knew they had to be making fun of him somehow. As I approached I heard a boy tell Larry that an old dried out to white piece of dog feces was a hotdog and he should eat it because it was such a good hotdog. Then poor Larry took a bite and they all scattered laughing or said ewwww, gross!

I went to Larry's side, just the two of us now as the others went back to the playground. I remembered Jesus saying that which you do to the least of you, you do unto me. I told Larry to never trust them and that it was poison, not food. He seemed confused a bit so I repeated, never eat that, it will make you very sick. He nodded and had a sad look on his face as he dropped the crusty dog turd. I think I walked back to the playground with him and played tether ball or kick ball. When we were called to line up, the special needs students were in their line and the rest of in another. I said, "Hey, Larry, do the fire engine sound from that show Emergency. My teacher got in my face and said not to tease him. I said I wasn't and Larry is really good at it. So I said it again to him and he cut loose, sounding just like the fire truck siren. He did that wail and said, "Emergency!" and ended with some more siren sounds. I clapped and said, "That was great, Larry!" He didn't speak but had a big smile on his big sweet innocent face.

I <3 you Ed. I really do.
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Old 04-19-2017, 10:46 PM   #2407
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Old 04-20-2017, 07:56 AM   #2408
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Glad to know that you're still fighting, Ed! I hate hearing of your pain....but love reading your words. You will always be a part of many of us here.....
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Old 04-20-2017, 08:26 AM   #2409
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That's a great story Ed. I hope Larry still remembers it, but I'm sure you have impacted many more lives the same way.
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Old 04-20-2017, 03:23 PM   #2410
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Nice Story Ed.
If you're up to it, I'd like to hear about your happiest moment-memory.
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Old 04-20-2017, 05:54 PM   #2411
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You're an amazing man, Ed. Your courage and honesty are inspiring.
You've touched my heart with your wisdom.
I'm shedding tears just thinking about your passing to eternal life.
I WILL miss you, remember and think of you.
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:03 PM   #2412
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Ed - I'd like to ask you for some general life advice. As a young man, I (hopefully) have a long life ahead of me. Anything you can think of would be so very much appreciated.
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:52 PM   #2413
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Ed - I'd like to ask you for some general life advice. As a young man, I (hopefully) have a long life ahead of me. Anything you can think of would be so very much appreciated.
Ed can reply directly. But I think he's plainly said it just above, nothing matters so much as being a kind person.
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Old 04-21-2017, 04:08 AM   #2414
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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Ed - I'd like to ask you for some general life advice. As a young man, I (hopefully) have a long life ahead of me. Anything you can think of would be so very much appreciated.
As a young man, you're most likely not quite sure of things. My 20s were a disaster overall with self esteem and confidence. But, despite that, I was growing into a man who was discovering things about himself and how to live my life as a good man. My big sis, not a blood relation but the sister of my best friend who was killed at the age of 12 in a car crash, has two children, a boy and a girl. Their dad just couldn't relate to them as a father. As I spent time at the grandparents house the kids were there and quickly became very attached to me. The boy would cry hard whenever I left to go home, so I had to hold him for a few minutes until he fell asleep or just stopped crying. So, I found myself being their father figure for those early years.

That made me realize that if you can be a positive figure to a child, that was part of how I defined myself as a man. I was never phony with them; I drank beer, I went to silly topless bars, and such, but in dealing with children, it just isn't something we should discuss. One of my finest memories of the kids was when they were playing on the deck with the boy's toy cars and trucks. Chance had two fire trucks, one red and one green. He was playing with the red one and then got a different toy. Lenzi played with the truck he was playing with before switching to something else. He didn't like it so a tug-o-war ensued. I stepped and said, "Stop this and share. Lenzi can play with it but she isn't stealing your toy. If you keep this up, it's naptime for the both of you." He let her play with the red truck and then they both said, "You're a good daddy." My heart turned into a giant glob of melting butter. I also realized that I needed them as much as they needed me.

So, to sum it up, look within yourself, think about how you can do things to mold yourself into a good man, discover your values and beliefs and that is what will shape you into the man you want to be. It's happening right now with the question you posed. You are defining yourself not only for yourself but how others will see you. Being young, I assume early 20s, you are so lucky. Building your character, finding your values and your inner strength is a beautiful time in life. Don't forget to have fun along the way and revel in joyful moments. Build your experiences; go on a buddy road tip, take a vacation over seas and immerse yourself in a different culture. You will learn a lot from getting out and having experiences which will increase your knowledge. Wisdom will follow suit, but it often tends to lag behind in the race. Don't sweat the small stuff. Instead rise above it until the storm passes. When you do make a mistake, learn from it and don't bang your head against a wall. I have let go of regrets which has helped me keep my peace of mind. If I knew then what I know now, my 20s would have been much more pleasant, but we don't get to press the reset button. I don't sit and wring my hands over how things went in my 20s because time always marches on, so I just have to accept it and live in the here and now. I feel good about myself.

I'll wrap up the rant now and say enjoy the journey you are on, live well and in good health. Thank you for reaching out to me. I never dreamed I could touch people's lives as I have been doing, but it has been giving me great joy. It is very humbling and I cannot express how grateful I am to you all for all you are giving to me.

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Old 04-21-2017, 07:19 AM   #2415
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