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Old 08-22-2013, 02:29 PM  
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Mrs. Buehler445 has a bun in the oven.

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Last edited by Buehler445; 03-17-2014 at 07:59 AM..
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:27 PM   #46
Prison Bitch Prison Bitch is offline
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Yeah, I've got a couple nieces and nephews that have flown by.

Another terrifying thing is that the kid will graduate high school in 2032.
Every guy will tell you how great it is, because he wants to feel like he's Father of the Year. But in private, most guys that you're close friends to will be a little more frank about it. I don't let my friends smoke & mirrors me on the topic, so they speak frank around me.


The guy who said he's in month 2 and "wouldn't trade it for the world" is more full of shit than the diaper he's changing.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:28 PM   #47
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Every guy will tell you how great it is, because he wants to feel like he's Father of the Year. But in private, most guys that you're close friends to will be a little more frank about it.


The guy who said he's in month 2 and "wouldn't trade it for the world" is more full of shit than the diaper he's changing.
Nice to know that you speak for every guy out there. Dipshit.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:28 PM   #48
Lzen Lzen is offline
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Tips?

Change your share of diapers and give wifey a break on those 3am feedings as often as you can, other than that its really pretty easy to be a parent when they're just little handfuls... feed'em, burp'em, talk to and tickle'em often for stimulus, that's about it for now.

The harder stuff comes later...
What if his wife chooses to breast feed? That got me out of those 3am feedings.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:29 PM   #49
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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I need to go ahead and not have a daughter. I'm fairly certain I would shoot every 12-25 year old male in the county once she hits 14. /sarcasm (ish)
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:29 PM   #50
seclark seclark is offline
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I have a 6 year old daughter and twin 3 year old daughters.

**** my life.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:30 PM   #51
ndws ndws is offline
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Sounds like good advice. I work outside and am dirty most of the time anyway. Hopefully the poop and puke won't be too much of a variance.
I grew up on a farrow to finish hog farm. Our neighbor ran a dairy, and I would help out once in a while there. My best friend grew up on a farm, and once again I helped out there. Later in life, me and my old man raised a number of horses. I've spent a good number of years of my life around livestock. In any case, baby shit has a way of burrowing deep into your nasal cavity, unlike most anything else.

You see the black sticky stuff at the hospital and its gross, but its expected, and you have that new-baby euphoria and nothing it does is bad/gross/horrible. that marconium goes away, and even then its not too bad. You've got this. And then the bacteria in the gut changes somehow. And one day, your little darling will shit its pants and all you can say is "Oh dear Lord". You'll want to blame your wife for eating a rotten corpse ass-end first, but she didn't. Good news is, your nose becomes calloused and you eventually aren't bothered by it. That's what they tell me anyway.
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Last edited by ndws; 08-22-2013 at 03:36 PM..
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:30 PM   #52
Lzen Lzen is offline
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That doesn't come for years. The first several years of a kids life you deal with screaming at 3am, dirty diapers, lying on the floor tantrums at the store when you say something he doesn't like, locking up everything around the house so he doesn't get into it, having your house painted/torn up at will, and of course the extra costs. And no time to yourself.

Having the Budweiser with your son leaning on the fencepost talking about life? Yeah, maybe in 20 years or so.
Wow, just wow. You only mention the not so pleasant things. And even some of those really aren't as bad as you make it sound. There are way more good things that outweigh the difficult parts of parenthood. If you truly feel that way about your kids then I doubt you will be having that beer and life discussion with your son in 20 years. He will probably go as far away from you as possible.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:31 PM   #53
Red Beans Red Beans is offline
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The wife and I were totally against cloth diapers. They'd leak, stink, and generally be a pain in the ass. However after two months of paying out the ass for diapers, we did our research and took the plunge. A $200 investment netted us 30 diapers and inserts. We do diaper laundry every third day or so and saw a slight increase in water consumption. You can seriously tell a difference between a kid's ass that's been clothed in chemically laced material and the cloth diapers. Don't get me wrong, we use disposables in some situations, but 90% of the time we go cloth. It was well worth the investment...
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:31 PM   #54
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What if his wife chooses to breast feed? That got me out of those 3am feedings.
Heh...touché wifeykins, get yer ass up!
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:34 PM   #55
ndws ndws is offline
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Every guy will tell you how great it is, because he wants to feel like he's Father of the Year. But in private, most guys that you're close friends to will be a little more frank about it. I don't let my friends smoke & mirrors me on the topic, so they speak frank around me.


The guy who said he's in month 2 and "wouldn't trade it for the world" is more full of shit than the diaper he's changing.
I'm full of shit on a lot of things, but that's not one of them. I'm actually pretty candid about the things I don't like, but again, I wouldn't trade this. I'm actually kind of sad for you, and that doesn't happen often.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:35 PM   #56
Prison Bitch Prison Bitch is offline
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Wow, just wow. You only mention the not so pleasant things. And even some of those really aren't as bad as you make it sound. There are way more good things that outweigh the difficult parts of parenthood. If you truly feel that way about your kids then I doubt you will be having that beer and life discussion with your son in 20 years. He will probably go as far away from you as possible.
My kids know they have an honest father, not a fluffer like you.

I enjoy my kids much better now that they're older. But I point out to expecting fathers the reality of the situation so they don't feel guilty about the feelings they are going to experience. It's really hard for men and women to become 1st time parents. Honesty is a good thing - you should try it sometime.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:38 PM   #57
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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My kids know they have an honest father, not a fluffer like you.

I enjoy my kids much better now that they're older. But I point out to expecting fathers the reality of the situation so they don't feel guilty about the feelings they are going to experience. It's really hard for men and women to become 1st time parents. Honesty is a good thing - you should try it sometime.
Thanks for being that spokesman.
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:40 PM   #58
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:40 PM   #59
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:41 PM   #60
Radar Chief Radar Chief is offline
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I need to go ahead and not have a daughter. I'm fairly certain I would shoot every 12-25 year old male in the county once she hits 14. /sarcasm (ish)
An old creole sergeant I knew in the Army said when his daughters turned 9 he bought them each a Rottweiler puppy so that when they were dating age those dogs were good and old and cranky. Said he never even had to do the greeting the kid at the while door polishing a gun trick. They had to make it past the dogs first.
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