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Old 06-12-2017, 10:00 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Hypothetical: Get your time travel assignment here.

Here's the situation: you show up for work on Monday morning, and as you're drinking your initial cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper, an e-mail arrives from your CEO with one of those red exclamation points on it. You open it up.

In a surprise move, your company is moving all operations to the Central African Republic. You can relocate there at a wage of 50 cents per day, plus the company will cover the cost of your first 100 rounds of self-protection ammo, or you can get laid off. You take the second option.

You start browsing through the job ads and come across this one:

Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences.

You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite. You go to the interview and they ask questions about how much you need coffee and electricity and indoor plumbing. They seem satisfied with your answers.

A few days later, you get the nice e-mail that you’ve been accepted into the Twin Pines Community College Time Travel Project as a documenting historian. As it turns out, one of the dental technician students wired some machinery together oddly and created a time machine, so now Twin Pines is the world leader in time travel.

Your assignment will be to go back into the past, live for a year, and document what you see. You can pick your landing location anywhere on the earth. The only challenge is that the time machine picks a random year and no one can control it. You’ll arrive on January 1st according to the Gregorian calendar and depart on December 31st, but no one will know what year until you arrive. The machine overweights more recent years, so the odds are 50 percent that you’ll be more recent than the year 700 AD, and 80 percent that you’ll be more recent than 1,100 BC, but conceivably you could go all the way back to the earth’s beginning.

If you accept the job I’ll randomly assign you a year, and you’ll have to report back on where you would go and what you would try to document. Assume that you will be equipped with a translation device and that you will not change history if you interact with it. Any people or creatures will merely see you as an oddity and minor annoyance, kind of like Michael Strahan on TV shows.

Who wishes to enter the Twin Pines time machine? Volunteer in the thread and I’ll assign you a year.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:07 PM   #91
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:09 PM   #92
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Good stuff. In!
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You might want to bring your own fire. 45,984 BC. That one should be fun.
The location I'm going to choose is Jerimalai Cave region in East Timor. I'm choosing this location because:

1) Given that this was during an ice age, the location of East Timor in the Pacific seems less cold than say, Doggerland, where I also would have liked to have visited in 45,984 BC.
2) They totally ignored and segregated the hobbit-like species from the nearby island of Flores. Only in Middle Earth were hobbits viewed favorably, and these inhabitants of Jerimalai were no different. Nobody wants their kind here.
3) They are thought to be the first people to utilize deep-sea fishing methods. This is what I will try to document. Who wouldn't want to spend all day documenting the discovery of deep-sea fishing, lounging on a boat in the middle of the ocean?
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:10 PM   #93
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:13 PM   #94
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I'm sure my skills as a lawyer and with no mechanical aptitude whatsoever will be of tremendous use in whatever year you put me in. Hopefully I can bring an assistant -- someone that gives me at least some chance of surviving more than three days -- but assistant or not, I'm IN!

(more adventuresome than smart, at least here on Fantasy Island...)
I bet your lawyering skills will serve you well in ... um ... 18175 BC.

Does law skill include any courses in working flint or sharpening spears?
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:15 PM   #95
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Yes, please.
446 AD is your research assignment. I bet there's a lot of good Roman debauchery then.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:19 PM   #96
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Originally Posted by Mizzou_8541 View Post
The location I'm going to choose is Jerimalai Cave region in East Timor. I'm choosing this location because:

1) Given that this was during an ice age, the location of East Timor in the Pacific seems less cold than say, Doggerland, where I also would have liked to have visited in 45,984 BC.
2) They totally ignored and segregated the hobbit-like species from the nearby island of Flores. Only in Middle Earth were hobbits viewed favorably, and these inhabitants of Jerimalai were no different. Nobody wants their kind here.
3) They are thought to be the first people to utilize deep-sea fishing methods. This is what I will try to document. Who wouldn't want to spend all day documenting the discovery of deep-sea fishing, lounging on a boat in the middle of the ocean?
Oh, I'm really curious about those hobbit people. That's a great choice. I hope Kimodo Island was still connected to Flores Island at that point so you can see hobbits fighting dragons.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:23 PM   #97
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1146 AD. I bet they had great chamber music to study. Maybe some knights and stuff. And god only knows what was going on in China and Japan.
Weren't the Crusades going on then? That might be an option.

I'm assuming if you die in the past, you're dead in your own time? We can't alter the timeline though. If I were to die while on assignment it would alter the timeline of everyone I've ever interacted with. My head hurts. Maybe they can drill a hole in my head in 1146 and relieve the pressure?
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:24 PM   #98
FlintHillsChiefs FlintHillsChiefs is offline
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I bet there weren't terrorists there then, though.

Oh, who am I kidding? There's probably always been terrorists there.

Of course, you didn't have Islam so they were probably blowing up stuff for some camel god or something.
Assyria and Egypt were beating the hell of out each other then. The Scythians invented the saddle (without stirrups) in 700 BC. Can I move to Greece, add stirrups to the saddles and take over Babylon, Egypt and Assyria?
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:27 PM   #99
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Assyria and Egypt were beating the hell of out each other then. The Scythians invented the saddle (without syrups) in 700 BC. Can I move to Greece, add syrups to the saddles and take over Babylon, Egypt and Assyria?
That would be amazing if adding "syrups" to a saddle helped you in your quest for domination. If you added pancakes, maybe.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:29 PM   #100
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That would be amazing if adding "syrups" to a saddle helped you in your quest for domination. If you added pancakes, maybe.
Stirrups I meant!
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:34 PM   #101
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446 AD is your research assignment. I bet there's a lot of good Roman debauchery then.
Hmm..

War between Irish and Anglo-Saxons in Britain
War between Huns and Romans in Eastern Europe
Massacre of Buddhists in China

I think I'll take your advice and spend my year in a non-disputed part of the Roman empire. Let's say Naples.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:36 PM   #102
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Weren't the Crusades going on then? That might be an option.

I'm assuming if you die in the past, you're dead in your own time? We can't alter the timeline though. If I were to die while on assignment it would alter the timeline of everyone I've ever interacted with. My head hurts. Maybe they can drill a hole in my head in 1146 and relieve the pressure?
Oh, yeah, it seems like you're in prime Crusade-watching season.

I'll assume that you can't die in the past. It's got something to do with how your cells transmogrify in the time travel process.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:37 PM   #103
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Originally Posted by FlintHillsChiefs View Post
Assyria and Egypt were beating the hell of out each other then. The Scythians invented the saddle (without stirrups) in 700 BC. Can I move to Greece, add stirrups to the saddles and take over Babylon, Egypt and Assyria?
I wonder how long the saddle was around before stirrups were invented. It seems like it should be a fast transition, but I don't know how inventing worked back then.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:40 PM   #104
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I wonder how long the saddle was around before stirrups were invented. It seems like it should be a fast transition, but I don't know how inventing worked back then.
Actually a lot of civilizations didn't make that logical leap for a long time. So I can please do it?
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:41 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by MagicHef View Post
Hmm..

War between Irish and Anglo-Saxons in Britain
War between Huns and Romans in Eastern Europe
Massacre of Buddhists in China

I think I'll take your advice and spend my year in a non-disputed part of the Roman empire. Let's say Naples.
I'm looking at this timeline and you might want to have your stuff packed up to leave quickly before 447 comes around. Attila is on his way.

http://www.novaroma.org/camenaeum/RomanTimeline.txt
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