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Old 10-24-2006, 04:48 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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VARSITY
Hear ye, hear ye! The monkey trial is about to begin!

As a long-time observer and poster on Chiefsplanet, I have noticed a wee bit of conflict recently between one Mecca and several other posters. The conflicts have been escalating, and I think it's time that the Chiefsplanet legal system stepped in.

I am declaring a monkey court to be put into place for the purpose of placing Mecca on trial. As a known neutral party, I shall serve as the judge for this trial. The charges are:

Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs.

Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy.

Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player.

Charge 4. Threats to kill other Chiefsplanet members in the interest of protecting animals.

Charge 5. General mayhem.

Additional charges may be filed by the prosecution before the trial begins.

By participating in the trial, all parties agree that the rulings of the court will stand, unless for some reason they don't want to listen to the court.

Over the course of the next few days, the following will take place.

1. Mecca may appoint a lawyer to represent him, or he may choose to represent himself. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. He may also choose to have a larger defense team if he wishes, but the lead defender will be the only official voice.

2. The opposing side will choose a lawyer to represent them, or if none can be chosen, I shall select one. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. Might I suggest that candidates nominate themselves in this thread, and I will then create a poll, with the largest votegetter being selected as lead prosecutor. The prosecution may also choose to have a larger prosecution team, but the lead prosecutor will be the only official voice.

3. I will request volunteers with possible actual legal experience to serve as my backroom legal team in running the trial. Any attorneys want to volunteer for this task? You cannot be part of the prosecution or defense, or be a potential witness for either side.

4. A random selection of Chiefsplanet members with more than 500 posts will be solicited for jury duty. We will then work with the prosecution and the defense to select the jury.

5. Then...the trial begins.

I would advise both sides to begin preparing their legal teams immediately. Jury selection will begin later this week.

(Banging Gavel)
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:45 PM   #61
Moo Moo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAG02
I Offer the court any services I can Provide-
You must bring the sandwich tray.

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Old 10-24-2006, 09:47 PM   #62
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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I find it beyond despicable that you have waited until mere weeks before the elections to spring these charges. Partisan politics at its worst. You have blatantly sat on these revelations, thereby endangering countless innocents. Yet in light of these facts he is guilty, guilty, guilty and should be summarily shot at 0800.
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:47 PM   #63
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAG02
I Offer the court any services I can Provide-
Frazod the Balif only shoots fridges, but he may make an exception for you. Sound good?
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:48 PM   #64
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Charges of public disergentedness have been overlooked.

Its obvious that SCTrojan should be appointed for the defense....after all, the only quality comes from USC.
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:50 PM   #65
PastorMikH PastorMikH is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimNasium
Here's the perfect lawyer for the defendant.

I agree. Mecca/Jim reminds me of the kid who is trying to be more extreme than his extreme father - he just isn't quite as bright as the old man.
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:55 PM   #66
SLAG SLAG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
Frazod the Balif only shoots fridges, but he may make an exception for you. Sound good?

No Not really-

I was thinking more as the Monkey Court Pimp.. who brings the ho's for the Jury and for whom ever wins the trial...
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:59 PM   #67
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
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I would be honored to serve the court as a member of the jury......
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:02 PM   #68
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAG02
No Not really-

I was thinking more as the Monkey Court Pimp.. who brings the ho's for the Jury and for whom ever wins the trial...
Actually, that spot has already been filled by the chick in Elvomito's avatar. Still wanna be shot by Frazod the Big Game Fridge Hunter?
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:04 PM   #69
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Originally Posted by JBucc
Do we have a baliff yet? I nominate Frazod.

Frazod whack his peepee!
Great, I'm Bull Shannon.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:05 PM   #70
SLAG SLAG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
Actually, that spot has already been filled by the chick in Elvomito's avatar. Still wanna be shot by Frazod the Big Game Fridge Hunter?



Now what Prey tell is your position with the court -

Judge Rain Man does Simplex Operate under your Jurice Prudence?

And if so...

Is getting Shot by Frazod the only open position for me?

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Old 10-24-2006, 10:08 PM   #71
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frazod
Great, I'm Bull Shannon.
I heard he banged Markie Post.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:09 PM   #72
SLAG SLAG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
I heard he banged Markie Post.

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Old 10-24-2006, 10:09 PM   #73
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
I heard he banged Markie Post.
Mmmmm.... Markie
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:10 PM   #74
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAG02
I should get some of that stuff. I'm just as ugly and nearly as bald!
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Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Frazod is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:10 PM   #75
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frazod
Mmmmm.... Markie
You'll shoot Slag, right?
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