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Old 02-10-2020, 03:04 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Woman, 35: I Quit Dating Entirely



Mae-sa Dixon, 35, swore off sex seven years ago. She says she’s never been happier.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/20/s...te&subid1=TAFI

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I started having sex at 16, and I didn’t have my first orgasm during sex until I was about 25. In 2013, I decided to stop dating and having sex with other people entirely.

I have never really had a boyfriend or long-term relationship. It has always been a sexual thing. I had two long-term friends with benefits: one for seven years and another for 10. After my last relationship ended, I was like, why am I doing this? I was good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to be taken on dates or introduced to friends.

It just made me feel so bad about myself, like I was a dirty secret. I thought, I’m over this — I don’t want to deal with men anymore. I am not a big dater as is, so I just got over dating. The urge went away.

Often people don’t understand when I say I’m celibate. They ask if I like women, or if I’m a nun. And then they will say, “So are you asexual?” and that is a totally different thing. There is also always that element of whether it’s for religion. I was raised in a Buddhist household, but my decision has nothing to do with religion.

People ask, “Aren’t you horny?” Well, yes, but I can take care of myself in every way, and more women should try that. I think people often just don’t know what celibacy is, or they don’t believe it. They’ll say, “Oh, you’ll find him.” But why do I have to? Why do I have to be sexual with anybody, like I’m not allowed to just be by myself?

It’s not a big issue with my friends or my family. But it is annoying when I go to family events and all my aunts are asking if I’m seeing anybody and I’m like, “I’ve already told you, that’s not going to happen.”

Over the years, I have been getting to know myself better. I used to let guys treat me any type of way, and at some point, you just realize: I am worth more than this. I deserve to be taken on dates. I’m not a sex toy. The buildup to the decision was that I saw myself giving so much to these people.

I also think dating has changed so much. You don’t meet people in real life, and dating online means everybody has every single person in the palm of their hand, and they are always looking for the next best thing.

My whole attraction to men has turned off — I don’t have any interest in going on dates anymore. I will meet people out and they will ask for my number and I say, “No, I don’t date.”

Maybe it is also an empowerment thing, that I don’t need attention from a man at all, that I have myself. All of my sleepless nights staying up crying, wondering if he’s ever going to call me again, if he still likes me, do I have worth outside of my vagina — all these doubts just left when I quit dealing with men. I have never been happier. It’s such a freeing experience.

Women who don’t have kids or don’t get married, we are looked at as so much lesser in society. We need to try and make it more normal. Most of my friends are in relationships or have children, but I do see a lot more women in my age range who are just not into dating or don’t want to have kids.

My mom has seven kids, and was always a stay-at-home mom, so I’ve always been kind of headstrong in that way that I don’t need a man to survive. Even when I was younger, I never saw myself with kids, living in a house with a white picket fence. It’s O.K. to be alone.

I am free to do more art, find out what I really like, and what I am going to tolerate when it comes to how I’m treated by people.

It has even helped in other situations. I just became so much more confident in my own abilities, because I didn’t need someone to make me feel fulfilled or complete. I can take myself to the movies.


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Old 02-10-2020, 03:37 PM   #16
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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via GIPHY




She keeps saying she's happy, but she looks like she has permanent bitter beer face.
Hard to tell why someone who looks like her and has empowerment she-roar demeanor isn't successful with men.
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:41 PM   #17
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I like her dress. I bet lots of guys would ask her out if she wore that to a planetarium.
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:41 PM   #18
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looks like what you'd expect
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:42 PM   #19
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If you were going to ask her, what is a good Mae-Sa Dixon line? And would you cross it?
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:43 PM   #20
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Why is this a story? This is a blog post at best.
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:44 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Chargem View Post
So Clay were you casually reading the NY Times when you found this or were you googling "should I just quit dating forever?"
it showed up on my twitter feed
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:45 PM   #22
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People aren’t asking for her number.
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:46 PM   #23
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This helps to put Andy Reidís success as a head football coach into perspective.
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:46 PM   #24
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Looks like maybe she just needs a massage.

probably gonna need something bigger than that........
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:49 PM   #25
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Did she go into detail about how the one guy she thought was forever broke her heart? Because I feel like that's a missing component of the story somehow.
Yeah, some dude ****ed her up good.
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Old 02-10-2020, 03:53 PM   #26
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This helps to put Andy Reidís success as a head football coach into perspective.
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Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Hammock Parties has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 02-10-2020, 04:08 PM   #27
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Yeah, she's no longer interested - that's why she's showcasing her ta-tas in the New York Times.

If the unicorn she's looking for shows up at her front door tomorrow (you know, the guy she dreams about while she's ****ing herself silly with a foot long dildo) she'll be off the wagon in a heartbeat.
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Old 02-10-2020, 04:16 PM   #28
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probably gonna need something bigger than that........
Why?
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Old 02-10-2020, 04:17 PM   #29
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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I'll bet the last guy that took her out saved a lot of his entertainment budget by just letting her chase a lazer pointer around the floor for an hour.
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Old 02-10-2020, 04:20 PM   #30
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It is possible to feel good about yourself and the way you look without having to try to attract someone else. And it's possible for people to be happy on their own. I imagine this is probably easier for women, though.
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