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Old 07-14-2018, 01:08 AM  
baitism baitism is offline
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Divorce....

Well, yeah it sucks. Could someone who has been through a divorce with a spouse that was cheating send me a PM? Kansas laws. I need to get the hell out of this situation and could use some advice. Thanks.
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Old 07-14-2018, 07:37 AM   #16
rabblerouser rabblerouser is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post
If you're lucky she'll do you for revenge.
I wouldn't call that 'luck', but if dude's wife is cute, you may need to hit it on GP.

Sorry about it.

I haven't recovered from my divorce 7 years ago, and there was no infidelity.

Divorce is absolute hell.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:02 AM   #17
BigRedChief BigRedChief is offline
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Originally Posted by SuperBowl4 View Post
Marriage for a woman is the happiest day of her life. For a man its divorce.
I don't agree. I've been married 28 years. It's not been all unicorns and rainbows but still happy with my life and how the marriage has turned out.

I've never thought about cheating with someone. I think based upon how crushed I'd be if she cheated on me. I don't know how people get past that betrayal. Good to see others have successfully moved on from that.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:12 AM   #18
cooper barrett cooper barrett is offline
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Marriage is like a carnival mirror....

And my favorite line is: Don't get mad. Get even.

I did not see if there are kids involved. It certainly changes things when the process gets going.

When the conversation of divorce was mentioned my marriage was past the point of no return but it seems you are the one bringing said action and you don't sound like you want to reconcile. At this point it just a fight for the money unless there are kids involved and still the most major item is the money.

When I got divorced there were lots of financial papers floating (none asking how my mental well being was) and lawyers trying to find hidden assets but the reason for the divorce was only a formality.

Why do you want to go after the other guy? Is it your problem that he cheated on his wife or only because your wife was the one he cheated with? Your wife cheated on YOU.

Good luck, May you enjoy the fact that she is going to tag any savings, equity properties, collectibles, retirement, 401K's and IRA's accounts and depending on your situation own or make you buy her out of any businesses you own together.

My divorce was easy, we only dealt with the money.

You will soon understand, with 20/20, why prenups are so important.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:20 AM   #19
baitism baitism is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cooper barrett View Post
Why do you want to go after the other guy? Is it your problem that he cheated on his wife or only because your wife was the one he cheated with? Your wife cheated on YOU.
Well, for one, it happened in my house while I was on vacation with the kids. Two, I'm not confronting him, just giving his wife a heads up.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:23 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by baitism View Post
Well, for one, it happened in my house while I was on vacation with the kids. Two, I'm not confronting him, just giving his wife a heads up.
You went on vacation, with your kids...but your wife stayed home...

Had she been planning the infidelity?

How did you find out?
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:27 AM   #21
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In KansasI found that a cheating spouse has no bearing on anything, including custody. Nobody cares.
This. Except the person left broken by the cheating.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:27 AM   #22
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:40 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by baitism View Post
Yeah, I'm getting that feeling as well. The only question now is whether I want bust the piece of shit she cheated with, who is also married.
I really wanted to beat the ever living hell out of "him". Now 8 years later, I want to send him a case of Crown and a handwritten thank you note every July 4...their Anniversary. It still rankles me that I didn't realize what a whore she was....but I am so glad she is history. My daughter was gonna do one of those DNA things, but decided not to just in case she isn't genetically mine. I told her regardless, she will always be my daughter and the love of my life. Yep, she's 19 and has so many doubts about her whorish mother...sad.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:42 AM   #24
Dallas Chief Dallas Chief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baitism View Post
Well, for one, it happened in my house while I was on vacation with the kids. Two, I'm not confronting him, just giving his wife a heads up.
Which is exactly the right thing to do. Now turn into a gray rock to her.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:44 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by cooper barrett View Post
Marriage is like a carnival mirror....

And my favorite line is: Don't get mad. Get even.

I did not see if there are kids involved. It certainly changes things when the process gets going.

When the conversation of divorce was mentioned my marriage was past the point of no return but it seems you are the one bringing said action and you don't sound like you want to reconcile. At this point it just a fight for the money unless there are kids involved and still the most major item is the money.

When I got divorced there were lots of financial papers floating (none asking how my mental well being was) and lawyers trying to find hidden assets but the reason for the divorce was only a formality.

Why do you want to go after the other guy? Is it your problem that he cheated on his wife or only because your wife was the one he cheated with? Your wife cheated on YOU.

Good luck, May you enjoy the fact that she is going to tag any savings, equity properties, collectibles, retirement, 401K's and IRA's accounts and depending on your situation own or make you buy her out of any businesses you own together.

My divorce was easy, we only dealt with the money.

You will soon understand, with 20/20, why prenups are so important.
Prenups do get thrown out or ignored by judges at times.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:45 AM   #26
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Just sayin..
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:46 AM   #27
rabblerouser rabblerouser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burt View Post
I really wanted to beat the ever living hell out of "him". Now 8 years later, I want to send him a case of Crown and a handwritten thank you note every July 4...their Anniversary. It still rankles me that I didn't realize what a whore she was....but I am so glad she is history. My daughter was gonna do one of those DNA things, but decided not to just in case she isn't genetically mine. I told her regardless, she will always be my daughter and the love of my life. Yep, she's 19 and has so many doubts about her whorish mother...sad.
A CASE of Crown?

Nah, a bottle will do.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:54 AM   #28
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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Divorce is the worse. It is like a fog that completely sets in on your life.
Whatever happens be sure to take care of yourself because the only thing more stressful then a divorce is a death of a loved one
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Old 07-14-2018, 09:04 AM   #29
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If you haven't mentioned you found out she's cheating, or the Divorce word than right now you're in good shape. If not, you need to literally drop everything you're doing right this very second and do this next step.

Get to whatever places you bank at jointly and set up new accounts ASAP and dump all of your liquid funds into them. Some of it hers too? Well, feel free to charge a processing fee and take that shit too. Do that before she does it to you, because she absolutely will.

Anything else that she could somehow access that you don't want her to access? Get her the **** off that shit right ****ing now.

Once you're done with that, you need to secure your own dwelling and do it fast. House, trailer, sad bachelors studio apartment, whatever the **** it is do it. This is also a time you can start working on the lawyer front.

Whenever she's out to work or out ****ing her new man, that's when you roll up the moving truck to quickly pack your shit up and get the **** out.

Get your shit first, debate what shit is hers and what is yours after the fact. After that is complete, that's when you start dropping the truth bombs on her ass.

I'd want to complete everything from start to finish in 48 hours and would "treat her to a weekend out" to help avoid having that interference. If you can't get a place to put all your stuff so quickly, put it in a storage locker for now.

The main key here is to remove all your assets before she can even realize what the **** is going on, as until you officially do that she can take whatever of yours she feels like helping herself to. I watched a friend go through the proceedings and he followed all these steps and it was the most jedi mind trick shit I've seen.
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Old 07-14-2018, 09:05 AM   #30
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A CASE of Crown?

Nah, a bottle will do.
You, OBVIOUSLY, have no idea how glad I am that he took her!!!
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