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Old 12-14-2004, 07:41 PM  
4th and Long 4th and Long is offline
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Aliens and Gas Pumps

Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire."

The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that; You really don't want to make him mad!"

"BAH!" replied the now angry younger alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It almost killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge. "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy," said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't mess with him."
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Old 12-14-2004, 09:10 PM   #2
SBK SBK is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4th and Long
Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire."

The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that; You really don't want to make him mad!"

"BAH!" replied the now angry younger alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It almost killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge. "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy," said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't mess with him."
So that's why libs are scared of Dick Cheney?
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Old 12-14-2004, 09:17 PM   #3
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shortbuskid
So that's why libs are scared of Dick Cheney?
He said penis wrapped around himself, not head shoved up his ass.
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Old 12-14-2004, 09:42 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whoman69
He said penis wrapped around himself, not head shoved up his ass.
, the first funny thing on this thread.

BTW, 4th, that joke would be much funnier in it's original PG-13 rated version. The G version is just ....meh.
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Last edited by Pants; 12-14-2004 at 09:54 PM..
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Old 12-14-2004, 09:49 PM   #5
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go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.go bowe 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:01 AM   #6
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Old 12-15-2004, 05:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whoman69
He said penis wrapped around himself, not head shoved up his ass.

Go do a recount somewhere and you'll feel a lot less bitter....
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Old 12-15-2004, 06:05 AM   #8
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
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I used to hate that alien av, mikey... now the entire forum feels naked without it.
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