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Old 01-08-2005, 04:07 PM  
DTLB58 DTLB58 is offline
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A couple of short NFT jokes....

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks
her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the
road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to
her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it
warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"

He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

"But what about the smell?" (drum roll and rim shot, please)

"Just hold its nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died
at the scene

A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in
to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she
wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige,
very soft and warm."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he
goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide. They wander into the next
room. She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but
very bright and airy."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he
goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"! The woman is even
more perplexed but still lets it slide.

They wander further into the next room. She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like
blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then once
more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"!

This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you
a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.
What on earth does that mean?"

The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four blondes laying sod
across the street."
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