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Old 01-17-2005, 08:17 PM  
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Can you help a brother out?
I hesitate to post this, but I'm getting pretty desperate ...

It started out a few weeks ago I was playing on the beach and got caught up in this big friggin tsunami. It wiped out all my possessions, including my wallet which had my driver's license, credit cards and Barnes and Noble discount club card.

When I got back to the states I looked pretty rough, having been under 20 feet of water and not having a razor to shave and whatnot. Anyway, I show up for work at the slaughterhouse and my boss doesn't recognize me. He asks for some ID. Well, I told him I lost it in the tsunami. He didn't believe me. Told me no ID, no job. At this point I'm steaming, but I keep my cool and politely tell him who I am and that I lost my driver's license and credit cards and Barnes and Noble discount club card in a natural disaster. He kept giving me this regulations BS, and worst of all my wife and kids were witnessing this, seeing their old man getting humiliated, so I just lost it and told him to F-off and I quit on the spot.

So now I got no job, no money, no ID and no Barnes and Noble discount club card. I don't know how I'm gonna pay for Christmas presents for my kids this year. I mean, Christmas is REALLY going to suck, because I usually get the kids books and shit from Barnes and Noble. They are gonna be SO disappointed.

**EDIT**

You WON'T believe this, I just got a phone call from my folks in Missouri and found out one of their dogs has worms and is going to the vet tomorrow and they wondered if I could help them out seeing as how they're on SS and disability which isn't much thanks to the ****ing government. Man when it rains it really friggin pours.

I just worry about my kids' Christmas. And my computer, yeah, I really need a new computer too this one is on its last legs. Sucks.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:24 PM   #2
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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go to tsunamireliefforslaughterhouseworkerstryingtogetchristmasandacomputer.com. After a 27 page application in triplicate and a blood sample along with one male child of working age, they usually get relief to the victims within 2 or 3 decades.
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How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:25 PM   #3
Earthling Earthling is offline
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Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.Earthling would the whole thing.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:25 PM   #4
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Too funny. Nice spoof with a current event update. I give it an 8.... but I give it a zero dollares.
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Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:26 PM   #5
WilliamInnerCircle WilliamInnerCircle is offline
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That's what you get for livin' through it. P*ssy.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:26 PM   #6
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Not only no, but Fvck no.
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Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bwana is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:26 PM   #7
Branden Albert's Huge Balls Branden Albert's Huge Balls is online now
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Change his name to JOhn.
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Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.Branden Albert's Huge Balls 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:26 PM   #8
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish
That's what you get for livin' through it. P*ssy.
Yup, a real man would have come out with a swordfish in his teeth, three strings of pearls, and the wallets of six other victims.
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How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!
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KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:30 PM   #9
Cochise Cochise is offline
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Can we get a mod to sticky this?
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Cochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking about
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:31 PM   #10
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cochise
Can we get a mod to sticky this?
Phil probably jizzed on his screen if that is what you mean.
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How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!
Samuel Adams
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KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:31 PM   #11
Saulbadguy Saulbadguy is online now
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:32 PM   #12
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saulbadguy
Its not even Christmas!
Plan your natural disasters timely - This is a PSA
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How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!
Samuel Adams
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KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.KCWolfman would the whole thing.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:33 PM   #13
Cochise Cochise is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
Phil probably jizzed on his screen if that is what you mean.
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Cochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutCochise is the dumbass Milkman is always talking about
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:36 PM   #14
el borracho el borracho is offline
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Wow! What tragedy! I would like to send you eleventy billion dollars as a start towards your (and your family's) recovery. Is a check OK?
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el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.el borracho has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 01-17-2005, 08:37 PM   #15
chiefs4me chiefs4me is offline
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