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Old 03-27-2005, 04:02 PM  
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Pickup lines

I have a story to share... if the search function wasn't disabled, I'd find some old pickup lines thread to post it in... but, **** it. It's the offseason, what's another silly thread, right?

So, last night my neighbor and I cleaned up and went to a more higher class drinking establishment than we're used to. A few drinks in, an older gal approaches us and says, "My daughter wants to meet you." She brings her daughter over, I shake her hand, and say, "So, your mom tells me we make you moist in the crotch."

The mom slapped me, the daughter was horrified, I laughed my ass off.

Share your most creative lines. Or something. I mostly just wanted to tell my story.
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:04 PM   #2
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:09 PM   #3
Bowser Bowser is offline
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The best one I've ever heard was never actually used by me, but used on my wife. She was out with her friends getting all schnockered, when this lone guy aproaches the table and asks the girls all one by one "Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?" She sid they were all so shocked by the bluntness, that they all just laughed the guy off. Pretty ballsy. And if you live by the law of averages, I bet that guy got laid that night.
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:09 PM   #4
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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I'll bet those women are telling their friends about the trailer trash that showed up at "the club" last night.
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:15 PM   #5
HolmeZz HolmeZz is offline
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:18 PM   #6
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser
"Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?"
Sounds like something I might say.

The over the top stuff is fun conversation starter. If they're real uptight they're just gonna get offended and go away. I figure you save a lot of time that way. Anyone who's any fun at all will laugh and hang out for awhile.
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:19 PM   #7
ENDelt260 ENDelt260 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
I'll bet those women are telling their friends about the trailer trash that showed up at "the club" last night.
I clean up pretty well.

Additionally, the mom & daughter were originally from Mexico, MO. I think it's against the rules for them to call me trailer trash.
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Old 03-27-2005, 04:52 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser



The best one I've ever heard was never actually used by me, but used on my wife. She was out with her friends getting all schnockered, when this lone guy aproaches the table and asks the girls all one by one "Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?" She sid they were all so shocked by the bluntness, that they all just laughed the guy off. Pretty ballsy. And if you live by the law of averages, I bet that guy got laid that night.





OMG.....I have heard this one......
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Old 03-27-2005, 05:31 PM   #9
Jenny Gump Jenny Gump is offline
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When I was 19, I was a cocktail waitress at a local drinking establishment. I had a thing for this man that used to come in with all of his friends. He had flirted with me, but was a little bit shy, and his friends were trying to nudge him to make a move. I helped him along a little one night. He went to the bathroom and I told his friends that I was going to play a joke on him and to play along. They agreed.

When he got back, I had a blow-job shot behind my back. I approached the table sort of shy-like and told him there was something kind of embarassing I wanted to talk to him about. In front of his friends I explained that I thought he was really cute, and for a while now, there was something I had been wanting to ask him. I asked him if he wouldn't mind, I would really like to give him a blow-job.

He got very red faced and kind of looked at his friends, and trying to play it cool said "Well..umm...uh....ok." I set the shot glass down in front of him, smiled, winked, and walked away. His friends laughed their asses off, and it was a hell of an ice breaker.
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Old 03-27-2005, 05:32 PM   #10
Braincase Braincase is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyGump
When I was 19, I was a cocktail waitress at a local drinking establishment. I had a thing for this man that used to come in with all of his friends. He had flirted with me, but was a little bit shy, and his friends were trying to nudge him to make a move. I helped him along a little one night. He went to the bathroom and I told his friends that I was going to play a joke on him and to play along. They agreed.

When he got back, I had a blow-job shot behind my back. I approached the table sort of shy-like and told him there was something kind of embarassing I wanted to talk to him about. In front of his friends I explained that I thought he was really cute, and for a while now, there was something I had been wanting to ask him. I asked him if he wouldn't mind, I would really like to give him a blow-job.

He got very red faced and kind of looked at his friends, and trying to play it cool said "Well..umm...uh....ok." I set the shot glass down in front of him, smiled, winked, and walked away. His friends laughed their asses off, and it was a hell of an ice breaker.

Hey, um, I like 'em too!
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Old 03-27-2005, 05:37 PM   #11
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One of my friends was at a gas station when a woman pulled up getting gas beside him. So he asked her if she wanted to go in the bathroom of the gas station and do it. Needless to say she didn't say anything, but the funny part was how they both had to sit there another few minutes to wait for the gas to stop...lol.

And to the OP, you handled the situation well. Any woman who needs their mom to introduce them needs to be burnt like a piece of toast. Same with the BJ guy.

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Old 03-27-2005, 05:39 PM   #12
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I hear that new prescription really has lessened your herpies outbreaks or the standard hey C*nt!
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Old 03-27-2005, 05:43 PM   #13
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.
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Old 03-27-2005, 05:59 PM   #14
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonpenz
I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.
So did that pickup line work?
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Old 03-27-2005, 06:08 PM   #15
Mastashake Mastashake is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonpenz
I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.
I said something to that effect once to a guy who was like 210 and I'm only 150. He looked at me like I was crazy, and then talked some smack and moved on.

I think it freaked him out, like I had something to hide which would allow me to kick his ass.

I'd say the best part about your story is those guys will be spineless in the tits er... brians of their women. They probably got sooo much crap it wasn't funny.

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