Pickup lines

ENDelt260 · 03-27-2005, 04:02 PM

I have a story to share... if the search function wasn't disabled, I'd find some old pickup lines thread to post it in... but, **** it. It's the offseason, what's another silly thread, right?

So, last night my neighbor and I cleaned up and went to a more higher class drinking establishment than we're used to. A few drinks in, an older gal approaches us and says, "My daughter wants to meet you." She brings her daughter over, I shake her hand, and say, "So, your mom tells me we make you moist in the crotch."

The mom slapped me, the daughter was horrified, I laughed my ass off.

Share your most creative lines. Or something. I mostly just wanted to tell my story.

Braincase · 03-27-2005, 04:04 PM

You are evil. Let me know when you need a minion.

Bowser · 03-27-2005, 04:09 PM

The best one I've ever heard was never actually used by me, but used on my wife. She was out with her friends getting all schnockered, when this lone guy aproaches the table and asks the girls all one by one "Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?" She sid they were all so shocked by the bluntness, that they all just laughed the guy off. Pretty ballsy. And if you live by the law of averages, I bet that guy got laid that night.

**Skip Towne** · 03-27-2005, 04:09 PM

I'll bet those women are telling their friends about the trailer trash that showed up at "the club" last night.

HolmeZz · 03-27-2005, 04:15 PM

Do you wash your clothes with Windex? 'Cuz I can see myself in your pants.

ENDelt260 · 03-27-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

"Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?"

Sounds like something I might say.

The over the top stuff is fun conversation starter. If they're real uptight they're just gonna get offended and go away. I figure you save a lot of time that way. Anyone who's any fun at all will laugh and hang out for awhile.

ENDelt260 · 03-27-2005, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

I'll bet those women are telling their friends about the trailer trash that showed up at "the club" last night.

I clean up pretty well.

Additionally, the mom & daughter were originally from Mexico, MO. I think it's against the rules for them to call me trailer trash.

chiefs4me · 03-27-2005, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

The best one I've ever heard was never actually used by me, but used on my wife. She was out with her friends getting all schnockered, when this lone guy aproaches the table and asks the girls all one by one "Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?" She sid they were all so shocked by the bluntness, that they all just laughed the guy off. Pretty ballsy. And if you live by the law of averages, I bet that guy got laid that night.

OMG.....I have heard this one......

Jenny Gump · 03-27-2005, 05:31 PM

When I was 19, I was a cocktail waitress at a local drinking establishment. I had a thing for this man that used to come in with all of his friends. He had flirted with me, but was a little bit shy, and his friends were trying to nudge him to make a move. I helped him along a little one night. He went to the bathroom and I told his friends that I was going to play a joke on him and to play along. They agreed.

When he got back, I had a blow-job shot behind my back. I approached the table sort of shy-like and told him there was something kind of embarassing I wanted to talk to him about. In front of his friends I explained that I thought he was really cute, and for a while now, there was something I had been wanting to ask him. I asked him if he wouldn't mind, I would really like to give him a blow-job.

He got very red faced and kind of looked at his friends, and trying to play it cool said "Well..umm...uh....ok." I set the shot glass down in front of him, smiled, winked, and walked away. His friends laughed their asses off, and it was a hell of an ice breaker.

Braincase · 03-27-2005, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyGump

When I was 19, I was a cocktail waitress at a local drinking establishment. I had a thing for this man that used to come in with all of his friends. He had flirted with me, but was a little bit shy, and his friends were trying to nudge him to make a move. I helped him along a little one night. He went to the bathroom and I told his friends that I was going to play a joke on him and to play along. They agreed.

When he got back, I had a blow-job shot behind my back. I approached the table sort of shy-like and told him there was something kind of embarassing I wanted to talk to him about. In front of his friends I explained that I thought he was really cute, and for a while now, there was something I had been wanting to ask him. I asked him if he wouldn't mind, I would really like to give him a blow-job.

He got very red faced and kind of looked at his friends, and trying to play it cool said "Well..umm...uh....ok." I set the shot glass down in front of him, smiled, winked, and walked away. His friends laughed their asses off, and it was a hell of an ice breaker.

Hey, um, I like 'em too!

Mastashake · 03-27-2005, 05:37 PM

One of my friends was at a gas station when a woman pulled up getting gas beside him. So he asked her if she wanted to go in the bathroom of the gas station and do it. Needless to say she didn't say anything, but the funny part was how they both had to sit there another few minutes to wait for the gas to stop...lol.

And to the OP, you handled the situation well. Any woman who needs their mom to introduce them needs to be burnt like a piece of toast. Same with the BJ guy.

Mastashake

Demonpenz · 03-27-2005, 05:39 PM

I hear that new prescription really has lessened your herpies outbreaks or the standard hey C*nt!

Demonpenz · 03-27-2005, 05:43 PM

I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.

Bowser · 03-27-2005, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.

So did that pickup line work?

Mastashake · 03-27-2005, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.

I said something to that effect once to a guy who was like 210 and I'm only 150. He looked at me like I was crazy, and then talked some smack and moved on.

I think it freaked him out, like I had something to hide which would allow me to kick his ass.

I'd say the best part about your story is those guys will be spineless in the tits er... brians of their women. They probably got sooo much crap it wasn't funny.

Mastashake

03-27-2005, 04:02 PM
ENDelt260 Let's all go down to... Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: 92107 Casino cash: $802	Pickup lines I have a story to share... if the search function wasn't disabled, I'd find some old pickup lines thread to post it in... but, **** it. It's the offseason, what's another silly thread, right? So, last night my neighbor and I cleaned up and went to a more higher class drinking establishment than we're used to. A few drinks in, an older gal approaches us and says, "My daughter wants to meet you." She brings her daughter over, I shake her hand, and say, "So, your mom tells me we make you moist in the crotch." The mom slapped me, the daughter was horrified, I laughed my ass off. Share your most creative lines. Or something. I mostly just wanted to tell my story.
Posts: 59,095

03-27-2005, 04:04 PM	#2
Braincase Captain Nemo Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Brownbackistan Casino cash: $1074393	You are evil. Let me know when you need a minion. __________________ BrainCase Screw it... I'm going to the brewery.
Posts: 14,069

03-27-2005, 04:09 PM	#3
Bowser What's Clark gonna do, Cotton? Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In Transition Casino cash: $50964979	The best one I've ever heard was never actually used by me, but used on my wife. She was out with her friends getting all schnockered, when this lone guy aproaches the table and asks the girls all one by one "Are you just here to get drunk, or do you want to get laid, too?" She sid they were all so shocked by the bluntness, that they all just laughed the guy off. Pretty ballsy. And if you live by the law of averages, I bet that guy got laid that night.
Posts: 45,323

03-27-2005, 04:09 PM	#4
Skip Towne Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: T-Town Casino cash: $1109161	I'll bet those women are telling their friends about the trailer trash that showed up at "the club" last night.
Posts: 69,691

03-27-2005, 04:15 PM	#5
HolmeZz i guess its bittersweet poetry Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: NeW HaVeN, CT Casino cash: $9045	Do you wash your clothes with Windex? 'Cuz I can see myself in your pants.
Posts: 16,517

03-27-2005, 05:31 PM	#9
Jenny Gump Feloniously Restrained Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: MO Casino cash: $1406	When I was 19, I was a cocktail waitress at a local drinking establishment. I had a thing for this man that used to come in with all of his friends. He had flirted with me, but was a little bit shy, and his friends were trying to nudge him to make a move. I helped him along a little one night. He went to the bathroom and I told his friends that I was going to play a joke on him and to play along. They agreed. When he got back, I had a blow-job shot behind my back. I approached the table sort of shy-like and told him there was something kind of embarassing I wanted to talk to him about. In front of his friends I explained that I thought he was really cute, and for a while now, there was something I had been wanting to ask him. I asked him if he wouldn't mind, I would really like to give him a blow-job. He got very red faced and kind of looked at his friends, and trying to play it cool said "Well..umm...uh....ok." I set the shot glass down in front of him, smiled, winked, and walked away. His friends laughed their asses off, and it was a hell of an ice breaker. __________________ "Blah blah blah blahhhh”
Posts: 5,156

03-27-2005, 05:37 PM	#11
Mastashake Insomniac Join Date: Mar 2005 Casino cash: $4026	One of my friends was at a gas station when a woman pulled up getting gas beside him. So he asked her if she wanted to go in the bathroom of the gas station and do it. Needless to say she didn't say anything, but the funny part was how they both had to sit there another few minutes to wait for the gas to stop...lol. And to the OP, you handled the situation well. Any woman who needs their mom to introduce them needs to be burnt like a piece of toast. Same with the BJ guy. Mastashake __________________ "Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control."
Posts: 700

03-27-2005, 05:39 PM	#12
Demonpenz MWSU Royals SKC Chiefs GoPens! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $122789	I hear that new prescription really has lessened your herpies outbreaks or the standard hey C*nt!
Posts: 42,268

03-27-2005, 05:43 PM	#13
Demonpenz MWSU Royals SKC Chiefs GoPens! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $122789	I actually had a dude get in my face because these girls 3 weeks ago were playing darts. They thought where you put the coins saving the next game was where you start the game. I told them hey you put the quarters in the 25 cent slot tits for brains. They called me an asshole and got their boyfriend over there or whatever. I just told him if he is going to kick my ass make sure he does it right away because i can't stand people who are all show and no go. He didn't really say anything but the girls kept on saying things to me like I DON'T CARE YOU ARE UGLY bla bla bla to me and I thought to myself how freaking insecure do you have to be to go off the deep end because some dude insulted you.
Posts: 42,268

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