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Old 04-02-2005, 01:16 AM  
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Would you bone Barbie?

Poor Barbie
by Betsy Gallup

Poor Barbie, she may someday marry Ken, but chances are, they will never have children. Based on research done by Rader Programs, the percent of Barbie's body fat would be so low, she would have ceased to menstruate--that is if she ever started. She has been grossly underweight since the beginning.

If Barbie were a real person, she would be 6' 0", weigh 100 lbs., and wear a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33". My four-month-olds' heads measure 17 1/2". She would probably have had to have back surgery from being so top heavy.

The average woman is 5' 4", weighs 145 lbs., and wears between a size 11-14. Her measurements are approximately 36"/30"/41". There is a fifty-fifty chance that she is on a diet right now.

After spending her childhood playing with Barbie, watching models and actresses who stand 5' 11" and weight 117 lbs. sell them on the idea of the perfect body.




I don't think I would... I'm not that big on giant boobs and I think doing her would be like scraping bone. If I can figure it out, I'm going to try a poll.
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Old 04-02-2005, 01:17 AM   #2
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I screwed up the poll... I suck.
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Old 04-02-2005, 01:20 AM   #3
Joe Seahawk Joe Seahawk is offline
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I might try..
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Old 04-02-2005, 01:23 AM   #4
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I dated a girl who weighed about the same... had much less boobage and was about 5 inches shorter... she was fun (and a gymnist), but I think if you put a lot more boobs on her, that weight would be up there instead of dispursed throughout her body and would be kinda nasty.
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Old 04-02-2005, 01:24 AM   #5
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Can a Mod make me a poll? I'm a 'tard.
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:06 AM   #6
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
I screwed up the poll... I suck.
You should probably see an expert about that...
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:07 AM   #7
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch
You should probably see an expert about that...
Thanks...

You could at least answer the question...
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:08 AM   #8
Taco John Taco John is offline
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You realize that Barbie doesn't have the proper equipment for boning right? You'd just be screwing between her legs.
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:09 AM   #9
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco John
You realize that Barbie doesn't have the proper equipment for boning right? You'd just be screwing between her legs.
We're assuming she's a real person.
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:09 AM   #10
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
Thanks...

You could at least answer the question...
Fair enough.

I don't **** skeletons...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:10 AM   #11
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco John
You realize that Barbie doesn't have the proper equipment for boning right? You'd just be screwing between her legs.
That is where I tend to do my-.......OOOOOOOOOooooooh...Yer like that...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:15 AM   #12
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
We're assuming she's a real person.
No way. That bitch is way too high maintenance. Come on, an RV, a VW, AND a Corvette? All those clothes and jewelry? A f**king house in Malibu? Forget it, you can't afford her.

Christ, it's never enough with this b**ch. NOW she needs a Chevy SSR with a huge cd player in the bed:

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Old 04-02-2005, 02:27 AM   #13
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by Simplex3
No way. That bitch is way too high maintenance. Come on, an RV, a VW, AND a Corvette? All those clothes and jewelry? A f**king house in Malibu? Forget it, you can't afford her.

Christ, it's never enough with this b**ch. NOW she needs a Chevy SSR with a huge cd player in the bed:

Sell that to someone who'll believe it.

That's a chick asking for a starfish-pounding if I've ever seen one...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:32 AM   #14
BIG_DADDY BIG_DADDY is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
No way. That bitch is way too high maintenance. Come on, an RV, a VW, AND a Corvette? All those clothes and jewelry? A f**king house in Malibu? Forget it, you can't afford her.

Christ, it's never enough with this b**ch. NOW she needs a Chevy SSR with a huge cd player in the bed:

He asked if you would bone her, not marry her you tard.


Obviously this article was written by an angry fat women who is using the average obese American woman as a "normal" example.
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:38 AM   #15
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY
Obviously this article was written by an angry fat women who is using the average obese American woman as a "normal" example.
Thanks BIG_DADDUHNESE...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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