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Old 04-26-2005, 12:40 PM  
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Government dog

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square" do your stuff!" T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a square, circle and triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But, the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 oz. without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive.

The three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?" The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, took a crap on the paper, had sex with the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker's compensation and then went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
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Old 04-26-2005, 12:42 PM   #2
DenverChief DenverChief is offline
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DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.DenverChief Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 04-26-2005, 12:47 PM   #3
Idahored Idahored is offline
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That was way too funny. I will be e-mailing it to a couple of friends, one of which is a government worker.
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Old 04-26-2005, 12:51 PM   #4
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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That's funnier than the government dog I ran into last week.
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Old 04-26-2005, 12:57 PM   #5
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Here's what my dad told me a few weeks ago. See if I can remember it right. There was a man and his dog in the plane and the woman right by him was curious to see why the dog was in the plane. So she asks the man, "Excuse me sir, but why is that dog in the plane?" The man replied, "Oh, this is a sniffing dog." "Sniffing dog?" the woman said. "Yeah, watch. Buddy. Sniff!" the man said. So the dog sniffed at the general area where they were sitting, and he came back to the man, raises his right paw. "What does that mean?" the woman said. The man said "Well, he found someone who has crack cocaine. Don't worry, we'll get him.

The man said "Buddy. Sniff!" So the dog went to the front of the plane, and came back, and raises his left paw. "What does that mean?" the woman said. "Oh, someone up there has marijuana. But don't you worry, we'll go get him."

Finally the man said "Buddy, sniff!" So the dog went clear in the back of the plane, came back crapping all over the floor at the plane. "What does that mean?" the woman said. "Oh, someone got a bomb in the plane. But don't you worry, we'll go get him."
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