Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The Ed & Dave Lounge > D.C.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-20-2005, 05:19 PM  
jAZ jAZ is offline
Supporter
 
jAZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Tucson, AZ
Casino cash: $5080
Kansas Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory


Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

Linky, link.
Posts: 24,759
jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 05:20 PM   #2
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
Lookin' for the answers...
 
Mr. Kotter's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Somewhere else
Casino cash: $5125
Okay, Justin. I laughed. A little.
__________________
Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel, Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel, Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel, Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel...
Posts: 39,996
Mr. Kotter has disabled reputation
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 05:21 PM   #3
jiveturkey jiveturkey is offline
Captain Kick Ass
 
jiveturkey's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Kansas
Casino cash: $5115
Ha!
Posts: 5,432
jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.jiveturkey would the whole thing.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 05:23 PM   #4
Adept Havelock Adept Havelock is offline
Obligatory Thoughtcriminal
 
Adept Havelock's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Flux,awaiting an observer
Casino cash: $5000
Now that was funny!

Teach both theories! Astronomy and Astrology!
Posts: 14,303
Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.Adept Havelock is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 05:23 PM   #5
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
Supporter
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Spink, SD
Casino cash: $5215
Good news. It's a concept our kids will grasp easier thus making their test scores go up in world rankings.
Posts: 24,958
mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.mlyonsd is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 09:35 PM   #6
Hydrae Hydrae is offline
MVP
 
Hydrae's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Austin, Tx
Casino cash: $5150
Some things never change throughout history. If you don't understand how something works, put it in the realm of the supernatural. Be it how the sun travels around the earth or how we stay stuck on the planet defying centrifugal forces.
Posts: 10,354
Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 09:37 PM   #7
Pitt Gorilla Pitt Gorilla is online now
Banned!
 
Pitt Gorilla's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: NOT Columbia, MO 65201
Casino cash: $5190
Funny, yet all too possible in Kansas.
__________________

That rabbit is crazy; I'm Brian Waters!

Kotter: "You are lucky I'm truly not the vindictive or psycho type...I'd be careful from now on, and I'd just back the hell off if I were you....otherwise, the Mizzou "extension office" life might get exciting"

Kotter: "You're just gay. G-A-Y. Gay."
Posts: 21,153
Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.Pitt Gorilla is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2005, 10:03 PM   #8
Logical Logical is offline
Screw U if U can't take a joke
 
Logical's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $5000
I love the Onion and especially love the way they correctly make jackasses of the RRWNJ's and the state of Kansas.
Posts: 31,579
Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.Logical is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 08:26 AM   #9
the Talking Can the Talking Can is offline
MVP
 
the Talking Can's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: street
Casino cash: $5180
"According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."



lmao....spot on
__________________
Clark Hunt: "Thank god for the Dominican pool boy"
Posts: 48,794
the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.the Talking Can is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 09:59 AM   #10
TGFan TGFan is offline
Rookie
 

Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Wichita
Casino cash: $5000
"Intelligent Falling" has to be the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Why can't we stick with teaching "God created gravity" in the church, and leave teaching science to science teachers in the schools?
Posts: 3
TGFan has disabled reputation
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 10:13 AM   #11
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
Don't Tease Me
 
Mr. Laz's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: KS
Casino cash: $5645
how embarrassing...


kansas, the national joke
Posts: 81,809
Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 10:34 AM   #12
Baby Lee Baby Lee is online now
Cake Boss!!
 
Baby Lee's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 456 Lick My Butthole Lane
Casino cash: $5145
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laz
how embarrassing...


kansas, the national joke
Almost as embarassing as mistaking satire for reality.
__________________
SNL Standards and Practices - "you can't say 'midget,' It's just like saying the N-word.'

John Mulaney - "No it isn't, because you JUST SAID midget."
Posts: 41,416
Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 10:56 AM   #13
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
Don't Tease Me
 
Mr. Laz's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: KS
Casino cash: $5645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Lee
Almost as embarassing as mistaking satire for reality.
brat ...


i know The Onion has all joke stories ... but the fact that they chose Kansas to be "da joke" tells that we've hit the national radar.


and not in a good way
Posts: 81,809
Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Laz is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 02:46 PM   #14
Valiant Valiant is offline
Valiant 'The Thread Killer'
 
Valiant's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Kansas City
Casino cash: $5745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laz
how embarrassing...


kansas, the national joke

And they want to move the Royals there... They are just asking for a dogpile..
Posts: 14,890
Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.Valiant wants to die in a aids tree fire.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2005, 08:18 PM   #15
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
The Master
 
whoman69's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Marion, IA
Casino cash: $5000
Do they still want it taught that the Earth is the center of the universe? A little Flat Earth mixed in with some of this crap should bring the state of Kansas to the potato for brain category any time now. If God is pushing us all down, then shouldn't everyone be able to jump the same height?
__________________
-Watching Eddie Podolak
Quote:
Originally posted by Logical
When the boobs are a bouncin, the Chiefs will be trouncin
What the Raiders fan has said is true, our customs are different. What Al Davis has said is unimportant, and we do not hear his words.
Posts: 23,081
whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.whoman69 is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:01 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.