Kansas Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

**jAZ** · 08-20-2005, 05:19 PM

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

Linky, link.

**Mr. Kotter** · 08-20-2005, 05:20 PM

Okay, Justin. I laughed. A little.

jiveturkey · 08-20-2005, 05:21 PM

Adept Havelock · 08-20-2005, 05:23 PM

Now that was funny!

Teach both theories! Astronomy and Astrology!

**mlyonsd** · 08-20-2005, 05:23 PM

Good news. It's a concept our kids will grasp easier thus making their test scores go up in world rankings.

Hydrae · 08-20-2005, 09:35 PM

Some things never change throughout history. If you don't understand how something works, put it in the realm of the supernatural. Be it how the sun travels around the earth or how we stay stuck on the planet defying centrifugal forces.

Pitt Gorilla · 08-20-2005, 09:37 PM

Funny, yet all too possible in Kansas.

Logical · 08-20-2005, 10:03 PM

I love the Onion and especially love the way they correctly make jackasses of the RRWNJ's and the state of Kansas.

the Talking Can · 08-21-2005, 08:26 AM

"According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

lmao....spot on

TGFan · 08-21-2005, 09:59 AM

"Intelligent Falling" has to be the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Why can't we stick with teaching "God created gravity" in the church, and leave teaching science to science teachers in the schools?

Mr. Laz · 08-21-2005, 10:13 AM

how embarrassing...

kansas, the national joke

Baby Lee · 08-21-2005, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

how embarrassing...

kansas, the national joke

Almost as embarassing as mistaking satire for reality.

Mr. Laz · 08-21-2005, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

Almost as embarassing as mistaking satire for reality.

brat ...

i know The Onion has all joke stories ... but the fact that they chose Kansas to be "da joke" tells that we've hit the national radar.

and not in a good way

Valiant · 08-21-2005, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

how embarrassing...

kansas, the national joke

And they want to move the Royals there... They are just asking for a dogpile..

whoman69 · 08-21-2005, 08:18 PM

Do they still want it taught that the Earth is the center of the universe? A little Flat Earth mixed in with some of this crap should bring the state of Kansas to the potato for brain category any time now. If God is pushing us all down, then shouldn't everyone be able to jump the same height?

08-20-2005, 05:19 PM
jAZ Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Tucson, AZ Casino cash: $49170	Kansas Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling. KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling. "Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University. Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power." Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible. According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise. The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision." "We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said. Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis. "Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling." Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture. "Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how." "Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'" Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics. "Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus." Linky, link.
Posts: 24,756

08-20-2005, 05:20 PM	#2
Mr. Kotter Lookin' for the answers... Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Somewhere else Casino cash: $10931869	Okay, Justin. I laughed. A little. __________________ Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel, Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel, Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel, Alex Smith will be better than Geno or Cassel...
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08-20-2005, 05:21 PM	#3
jiveturkey Captain Kick Ass Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Kansas Casino cash: $64466	Ha!
Posts: 5,416

08-20-2005, 05:23 PM	#4
Adept Havelock Obligatory Thoughtcriminal Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Flux,awaiting an observer Casino cash: $57005	Now that was funny! Teach both theories! Astronomy and Astrology!
Posts: 14,303

08-20-2005, 05:23 PM	#5
mlyonsd Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Spink, SD Casino cash: $54124	Good news. It's a concept our kids will grasp easier thus making their test scores go up in world rankings.
Posts: 24,885

08-20-2005, 09:35 PM	#6
Hydrae MVP Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Austin, Tx Casino cash: $69437	Some things never change throughout history. If you don't understand how something works, put it in the realm of the supernatural. Be it how the sun travels around the earth or how we stay stuck on the planet defying centrifugal forces.
Posts: 10,334

08-20-2005, 09:37 PM	#7
Pitt Gorilla Banned! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: NOT Columbia, MO 65201 Casino cash: $111113	Funny, yet all too possible in Kansas. __________________ That rabbit is crazy; I'm Brian Waters! Kotter: "You are lucky I'm truly not the vindictive or psycho type...I'd be careful from now on, and I'd just back the hell off if I were you....otherwise, the Mizzou "extension office" life might get exciting" Kotter: "You're just gay. G-A-Y. Gay."
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08-20-2005, 10:03 PM	#8
Logical Screw U if U can't take a joke Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $94931	I love the Onion and especially love the way they correctly make jackasses of the RRWNJ's and the state of Kansas.
Posts: 31,579

08-21-2005, 08:26 AM	#9
the Talking Can MVP Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: street Casino cash: $324590	"According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise. The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision." lmao....spot on __________________ Clark Hunt: "Thank god for the Dominican pool boy"
Posts: 48,753

08-21-2005, 09:59 AM	#10
TGFan Rookie Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $1000	"Intelligent Falling" has to be the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Why can't we stick with teaching "God created gravity" in the church, and leave teaching science to science teachers in the schools?
Posts: 3

08-21-2005, 10:13 AM	#11
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $443915	how embarrassing... kansas, the national joke
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