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Old 09-25-2005, 09:00 AM  
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Clean jokes can be funny too!

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
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Old 09-25-2005, 11:41 PM   #61
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One turns to the other and says: "Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" The other muffin turns to him and says:"AHHHH a talking muffin!"



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Old 09-28-2005, 04:01 PM   #62
Frankie Frankie is offline
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While in prison, Hank and Jim, two convicts thought long and hard about their criminal life. As a result Hank started studying to become a lawyer. But Jim,.... he decided to go straight.
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Old 09-28-2005, 04:12 PM   #63
chiefqueen chiefqueen is offline
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This one will get this thread kicked into the D.C. forum but here it goes:

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT in January 2008 Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long.......... The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that." The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that." On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln says, "Go to the theater!"
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Old 09-28-2005, 05:23 PM   #64
Hydrae Hydrae is online now
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Did you hear about the Indian who went to the tea party?


He went home afterwards and had a tea pee.
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Old 09-28-2005, 05:25 PM   #65
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An traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out.
The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."
The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"
"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want."
The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight.
Three hours later he returned.
The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"
"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."
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Old 09-28-2005, 06:21 PM   #66
Hydrae Hydrae is online now
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Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other two escaped with minor injuries
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Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.Hydrae would the whole thing.
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Old 09-28-2005, 10:59 PM   #67
greg63 greg63 is offline
Homer go crazy!!!
 
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Bill Clinton was coming back to the white house one day after vacationing in Arkansas with two baby pigs under each arm. He greeted the guard at the door and said proudly: "How do you like my pigs, I got this one for Hillary and this one I got for Chelsea". The guard replied: "Good trade sir."
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Old 09-29-2005, 12:00 AM   #68
greg63 greg63 is offline
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A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Reid is 62 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?" The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
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Old 10-04-2005, 02:28 PM   #69
Frankie Frankie is offline
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go bo poured some sugar into his cup of tea and stirred it clockwise. He took a sip. It was too sweet. So he stirred it counterclockwise!



(Sorry go bo. I needed to assign a character to that joke. Yours came to mind first!)
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Old 10-04-2005, 02:38 PM   #70
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Three hilbillies are walking the fence line on the farm and come across a sow that'd been caught in the barbed wire.
First hillbilly says: "You know, I wish that Pig was Cindy Crawford..."
Second hillbilly says: "You know, I wish that Pig was Brittany Spears..."
Third hillbilly says: "You know, I wish it were dark...."
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gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-04-2005, 02:44 PM   #71
ROYC75 ROYC75 is online now
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This blonde calls the fire department, says here house is on fire, come quick. All excited, she hangs up the phone. A few minutes go by, no sirens, she calls back, quick come now, my house is on fire, hurry..... about to hang up again the fire dispatcher said , Lady, Lady, How do we get to your house ? The blonde replied, " Duh, the big red truck ".
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ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 10-04-2005, 02:53 PM   #72
Frankie Frankie is offline
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This blonde was taken to the emergency room with severe burns on both sides of her face. When asked how this happened, she said:

"Well I was ironing. The phone rang and I got confused and picked up the iron instead of the receiver."

"Well," asks the doctor, "this explains one side of your face. How about the other side?"

"I had to call the hospital, didn't I?""
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Old 10-04-2005, 03:02 PM   #73
ROYC75 ROYC75 is online now
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Little Johnny was in class one day and the teacher was having the kids write somrthing on the blackboard that scares them. She waited till Johnny was last because he always disrupted the class. Johnny takes his turn last, walks up and puts a period mark on the blackboard. The teacher asks him how that scares him. Johnny says it doesn't, but it scare the hell out of my sister.
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ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ROYC75 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 10-04-2005, 03:12 PM   #74
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ROYC75
Little Johnny was in class one day and the teacher was having the kids write somrthing on the blackboard that scares them. She waited till Johnny was last because he always disrupted the class. Johnny takes his turn last, walks up and puts a period mark on the blackboard. The teacher asks him how that scares him. Johnny says it doesn't, but it scare the hell out of my sister.
Ah!! Period..... I get it,... I guess.
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Old 10-04-2005, 03:14 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiefqueen
This one will get this thread kicked into the D.C. forum but here it goes:

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT in January 2008 Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long.......... The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that." The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that." On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln says, "Go to the theater!"

Here is the second:

Reporter: President Bush, what do you think of Roe vs. Wade?

W: I don't care how people get out of New Orleans just as long as they get out.
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