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Old 10-17-2005, 11:24 AM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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VARSITY
Doggity Report: Washington at KC

Doggity Report will be posted tonight at www.georgeblowfish.com.
Here's the advanced copy for your dining and dancing pleasure:
The Doggity Chiefs Report

Week 6 - 2005

Offensive Native-American Slurs vs The Other Ones from “the Head”, Kansas City, MO.

Kansas City – 28; Washington – 21

From the car radio as I was traveling. As always, you can find the Doggity Reports from this and previous years at www.georgeblowfish.com! And visit “Radio Blowfish”- The official voice of the “Jane You Ignorant Slut” political blog. If you know others who might want to get this report in the ‘junk’ folder of their e-mail inbox – send me their addresses so we can add them to the rapidly expanding number of people who have nothing better to do than read the Doggity Report each week. Remember our privacy policy - “We don’t sell email addresses anyone hawking ‘authentic’ replica Rolexes.”

Overview – We had hoped going into this season that the defense would be at least a little better at taking the ball away, if nothing else. And that, combined with the high-octane offense would carry the groceries all the way to February. The game against the Skins saw the third consecutive outing of mediocre offense. But an opportunistic defense made enough big plays to hold down the fort. KC was flogged in nearly every statistical category, except turnover margin. When a team coughs up the piggie three times on the road, they will lose, no matter how hard the home team is trying to give the game to them. This contest exposed a few key frauds on this KC team. Local dermatologists noted wide-spread excoriation due to excessive head-scratching over several coaching decisions. Why was Eric Warfield inactive? Why is Jordan Black starting over John Welbourne? Why, on third and goal from the two did they put in a jumbo package and then pass? Why, when your quarterback is being harassed all day, do you run an empty backfield on a third and long? I guess a W is a W, but this game can’t make Chiefs fans feel very comfortable.



Offense – Willie Roaf is still not 100%, but he did look good on that 4th quarter 60-yard screen pass for Priest’s second TD. Jordan Black looks a lot like Trezelle “Speedbump” Jenkins. The entire line suddenly looks old, slow and painfully average. We knew it would happen. We’ve been saying for three years that these guys can’t play at that level forever. They still do what they do, but it all looks like they kicked the old 45 down to 33-1/3 (a reference lost on many younger readers. Ask your parents). Kris Wilson, who was sold as the next Gonzo, has gone “Claude Raines” on us. For that matter, even Gonzo has not been very productive since he has to hang back to baby sit Jordan Black. The juggernaut that has been the Chiefs’ offense the past few years may well have seen its best days slip past.



Defense – This was Jared “Subway” Allen’s debutante ball. Yes, I know he had a great rookie season, and was the Mack Lee Hill winner and all that. But this kid is no Bob Hamelin. He is better this year than last, and his game against Washington looked like “Son of Neil Smith”. Three sacks, two forced fumbles, two fumble recoveries and ten tackles. He was a one-man wrecking crew. Two others deserve mention for an outstanding game -- Kawika Mitchell has become an animal against the run, and Sammie Knight is maybe the best of the free-agents Carl signed in the off-season. Some things this game forced us face were the ineffectiveness of Kendrell Bell, the bone-head of Greg Wesley and the complete inability of Oh! Dexter! to play corner in the NFL. I have no idea why Eric Warfield was in streets. Was he not ready? If not, why not? Is it the coaching staff playing head games with him? Dwayne Washington did a reasonable job after they pulled Dex, but there is no good explanation I’ve heard for why Warfield wasn’t suited. As well as the defense played at important points in the game, they were overall not very good. I know 89-year-old Mark Brunell and Oye-Como-Va Moss have been better than advertised this year, but come on. They looked like Marino and Clayton against McCleon and Sapp.

Special Teams – KC’s kick coverage remains the worst in the NFL, and it was no better this week. Colquitt’s punting average was lower, but that’s because he was working with a short field and he was able to pin them inside the 20 twice, so not bad. Larry Tynes did what was asked of him. Nothing spectacular. His kick offs are too short, and that contributes to the lousy coverage problems. But when he kicked for points, he got it done.

The AFC West –

KC Chiefs – Flopping around and only occasionally showing signs of life.

Denver Donkeys – This year’s Donkeys remind me of the 2003 Chiefs. It’s better to be lucky than good.

East Bay Convicts –Norv Turner Buick-Pontiac-GMC in suburban Dallas got one step closer to opening day.

San Diego Bolts – LT is what Priest was three years ago. This is a great young team that will be a force for a long time.


Throw Him A Bone Award –

Big Subway nearly single-handedly won this game. Jared Allen gives me hope that some of they young talent on this team may eventually pan out. This bone’s for you, big boy.



The Doggity Dog –

Why is Dexter McCleon on this roster? Or any NFL roster? He was never good, but he makes up for it by being short, slow and prone to dumb penalties, including one that negated a Greg Wesley pick in the end-zone, and led to a score. Oh! Dexter! gets his nose rubbed in it this week.

Ms. Priscilla’s Recipe Box’s “Tailgate Recipe of the Week” -

A fan-favorite segment from the past two years is the tailgate recipe of the week – a feature suggested by Dr. Bob’s better half before the start of the 2003 season. In her honor, it will bear her name this season.

Polynesian Parsnips – From #2 Mom (Momma Blowfish) comes this recipe for a fall root veggie side dish with a tropical flavor. Seems right for an October game in Miami!

1-package parsnips (6-8) in ˝ in chunks
2 carrots in ˝ in chunks
1 rib celery chopped
6-7 chunks dried (candied) pineapple cut in small pieces
2 tbs butter
4 tbs hazelnut syrup (Look in the Coffee section at the store... sugar free if available is cool)
4 tbs sliced or chopped almonds
2 tbs shredded coconut

Wash and peel root vegetables.
Combine ingredients and microwave covered about 4 minutes or until tender (Or, you can use a foil pouch for about 20 minutes on the grill)

Send your recipes to the Dog, by e-mail or fax them to 913-831-1307.

Special Note:

This season, the Doggity Report would like to focus on the good work done by our friend Phil Kloster and all the folks at the “37 Forever” Foundation. 37 Forever was founded in 1999 to honor the memory of Joe Delaney, a former Chiefs RB who perished in a drowning accident after entering the water in an effort to save three children. Only one child survived and Joe Delaney could not swim. Joe Delaney was inducted into the Chiefs Ring of Fame in 2004, perhaps in part due to the exposure brought about by the efforts of 37 Forever.

37 Forever is currently seeking local leadership to assist in growing the organization. For more information about 37 Forever or to purchase tickets to the Banquet, please contact Phil Kloster at (816)665-1208 or pkloster@37forever.org


Next week –

To South Beach for a Sunday afternoon fish fry.

Your faithful scribe,

Mr. Doggity
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Old 10-17-2005, 11:32 AM   #2
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Old 10-17-2005, 12:11 PM   #3
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I always enjoy the Doggity Report. Thanks George.
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Old 10-17-2005, 12:13 PM   #4
Ari Chi3fs Ari Chi3fs is offline
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Old 10-17-2005, 12:24 PM   #5
Fairplay Fairplay is offline
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Great article.

Chiefs need to get their head out of its arse.

I can't believe we got the W.
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