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Old 11-11-2005, 08:14 AM  
Area 51 Area 51 is offline
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A story about thinking.

On Thinking
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at cocktail parties.

Now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more
than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax", I told myself, but I knew it wasn't
true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned
off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.

She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in to his office. He said, "Listen, I like you,
and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.
If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find employment
elsewhere."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey,"
I confessed, "I've been thinking."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
school teachers, and school teachers don't make any money, so if you don't stop all that thinking you've been doing lately, pretty soon we will be living under the freeway
!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears
of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library to unwind," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.

I roared into the parking lot
and ran up to the big glass
doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me
that night.

As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.

"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard
Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Today, I even registered to vote as a Democrat.


I believe the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

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Old 11-11-2005, 08:15 AM   #2
the Talking Can the Talking Can is offline
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since when does George Carlin write in ALL CAPS?*


* apparently George reformats his emails too...what a guy
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:19 AM   #3
Area 51 Area 51 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the Talking Can
since when does George Carlin write in ALL CAPS?*


* apparently George reformats his emails too...what a guy
I figured an asshole would be first on the scene.

I know the writer and it wasn't GC or TN.

Now, go back to your koolaid.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:20 AM   #4
Kclee Kclee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Area 51
I figured an asshole would be first on the scene.

I know the writer and it wasn't GC or TN.

Now, go back to your koolaid.
That means.... You KNOW Robin Williams! Wow.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:31 AM   #5
Area 51 Area 51 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kclee
That means.... You KNOW Robin Williams! Wow.
Not Robin.

This needs to go to the DC forum or to the Romper Room. It was a mistake to think that everyone might see the levity in the story. ( If you don't like the punchline, change it to suit your political affiliation.)
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:34 AM   #6
Brock Brock is offline
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D.C.

buh-bye
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:35 AM   #7
WilliamTheIrish WilliamTheIrish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brock
D.C.

buh-bye
Better yet... delete this shit.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:37 AM   #8
NewChief NewChief is offline
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The irony of 51 posting this is just awesome.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:40 AM   #9
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I just found this thing all over the place online. This is the only version I've seen that had the "I even registered as a Democrat" verse.

Oh take that back. I found other versions that are the exact same thing except that say "Today I joined the Republican party."



And BTW, you're full of crap that you "know the author."
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NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.NewChief has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:40 AM   #10
jspchief jspchief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Area 51
Not Robin.

This needs to go to the DC forum or to the Romper Room. It was a mistake to think that everyone might see the levity in the story. ( If you don't like the punchline, change it to suit your political affiliation.)
Chef Bob, I thought you were leaving.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:49 AM   #11
Braincase Braincase is offline
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I think his point is that if you don't think like him, in his opinion, you're in the wrong.

I can live with that.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:52 AM   #12
Area 51 Area 51 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braincase
I think his point is that if you don't think like him, in his opinion, you're in the wrong.

I can live with that.
I'm glad you cleared that up. Too bad you don't know WTF you are talking about!
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:53 AM   #13
Area 51 Area 51 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewChief
I just found this thing all over the place online. This is the only version I've seen that had the "I even registered as a Democrat" verse.

Oh take that back. I found other versions that are the exact same thing except that say "Today I joined the Republican party."



And BTW, you're full of crap that you "know the author."
I'll copy your comments and send it to him in an email. He will be amused.
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:56 AM   #14
Braincase Braincase is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Area 51
I'm glad you cleared that up. Too bad you don't know WTF you are talking about!
Why don't you start a poll? Poll the posters on the board as to whom they think knows WTF they're talking about on the most consistent basis. I will happily concede if the majority selects you.

I solved it for you, and posted the poll in the DC forum, and I will not vote in the poll, lest it sway the results.
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Old 11-11-2005, 09:00 AM   #15
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Regardless of who wrote it and what is meant by it, it's stupid.

If it's supposed to be comical, it isn't.
If it's supposed to be thought provoking, it isn't.
If it's supposed to be a rip on Dems/Reps/Bronco fans/etc, it isn't.
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