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Old 06-29-2006, 01:52 PM  
jspchief jspchief is offline
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Would You Re-marry?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when
the wife looks over at him and asks the
question....



WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you
get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"


HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my
jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "Shit."
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Old 06-29-2006, 03:51 PM   #2
ChiefsOne ChiefsOne is offline
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Old 06-29-2006, 04:02 PM   #3
pr_capone pr_capone is offline
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NICE!
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Old 06-29-2006, 04:09 PM   #4
Moooo Moooo is offline
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wah wah wah waaaaaaaahhhhh

Moooo
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Old 06-29-2006, 04:44 PM   #5
R&GHomer R&GHomer is offline
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Old 06-29-2006, 05:33 PM   #6
tyton75 tyton75 is offline
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Old 06-29-2006, 06:18 PM   #7
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Would I remarry?
Never...men are okay for platonic friends though.
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Last edited by BucEyedPea; 06-29-2006 at 06:39 PM..
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Old 06-29-2006, 06:44 PM   #8
KC Jones KC Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BucEyedPea
Would I remarry?
Never...men are okay for platonic friends though.
countdown to kotter asking about sexual persuasion in 5... 4... 3... 2...

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Old 06-29-2006, 06:48 PM   #9
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC Jones
countdown to kotter asking about sexual persuasion in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Ohhhhhhhhh noooooooo....not me!

You got it all wrong.

Just a thing I'm goin' through.
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Old 06-29-2006, 07:12 PM   #10
StcChief StcChief is offline
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Old 06-29-2006, 07:23 PM   #11
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Golf jokes huh......Heh!

Subject: Tiger

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... "Top o' the mornin to ya". As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant."

They're called tees," replies Tiger. "And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman. "Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger. Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything..."
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Old 06-29-2006, 07:28 PM   #12
StcChief StcChief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bwana
Golf jokes huh......Heh!

Subject: Tiger

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... "Top o' the mornin to ya". As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant."

They're called tees," replies Tiger. "And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires theIrishman. "Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger. Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irishattendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think ofeverything..."
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Old 06-29-2006, 09:12 PM   #13
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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buceyedpea and Tommykat decide they need a new hobby, she remember their grandfathers were ice fisherman,so she chooses that.

They read up, buys the gear and one saturday morning meet and head out onto the ice.

Tommykat begins to drill a hole while bep unpacks the bait when suddenly, they hear a deep, booming voice from the sky that says

"There are nooooooo fish under the Iiiiiiice"

Tommykat quickly looks around, but thinks it might have been the wind and goes back to drilling.

Again the Voice says "there are nooooooo fish under the iiiiiiiiiice"

Startled, they look up and say "Lord, is that you?"

"Noooooo" the voice booms, "I'm larry, the Rink manager"
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Old 06-29-2006, 09:31 PM   #14
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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These are very nice stories. It reminds me of the time I was invited to a Warpaint party with all of the staff. While I was there Phobia came in and told me a pretty funny story. I'll convey it here to you fellow planeteers.

Phobia went to pick GoChiefs up at the airport and they were driving up to Iowa where this party was being held. On the way, they were driving through some farmland and saw a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. Phil err I mean Phobia swerves to the side of the road and runs down this embankment and starts pokin this sheep. GoChiefs is just chillin in the car twiddling his thumbs. Phobia comes back up and says "Dude, what's the matter with you? You don't wanna get yourself some of that?" GoChiefs just kind of shrugs his shoulders, runs down where the sheep is and sticks his head in the fence next to him. Good times.
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Old 06-30-2006, 11:31 AM   #15
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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I was really hoping for a response from GoChiefs. I am shamed..........
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