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Old 07-01-2006, 06:29 PM  
DJay23 DJay23 is offline
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How long would you wait?

Alright imagine (if you are married) or consider (if you are not) that you are a single man (or woman, but this is written from a man's point of view) in your mid to late 20's. You've dated many people and have not found the one girl who makes your mint life saver spark. Then one day, you meet someone with potential. After some getting to know one another you feel very strongly that this could develop into "the one." She is your counterpart in almost every way you can recognize in a month and a half. But a snag. This person is just off a horrible break up and feels it necessary to give herself some more time to work through her pain from that, yet very much wants to be involved with you. She feels it's not fair to you to get involved while she's in such a bad place (those of you who have been cheated on after a long relationship know that feeling). Let's assume that you trust this person is genuine and isn't just playing you.

As near as you can tell, this is your dreamgirl. How long would YOU wait for her.

Yes, this is something I am asking myself at this very moment.

I thought about a poll, but I'd rather see your personally constructed responses. I don't think anyone will sway me one way or another, I'm just curious what others would say if in the same situation.

At this point in time, I'll stay patiently in the background until she is ready. No time limit for me. I feel that she is worth it...
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:34 PM   #2
58-4ever 58-4ever is offline
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Are you ghey? I'm just kidding. A year. I would probably wait one calender year and no more.
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:39 PM   #3
ROYC75 ROYC75 is offline
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You are dealing with a woman, a broken hearted woman. One must find it within their heart on the amount of time to wait.

But a year sounds good........
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:46 PM   #4
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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I had the exact thing happen to me in reverse....I had dated a girl who I had thought was "it," but after four years we stagnated and a long-distance relationship didn not make the heart grow fonder. We ended it in March. In May, I met a wonderful woman who was everthing I'd ever imagined--but I was insistent for the first 3-4 months to myself (and less obviously, to her) I wasn't looking for anything long-term, I considered myself "on the rebound," and said I was just looking to have a good time. I found out later, according to her, she "knew" I was the "one" after our first date. She even told her mom and best friend as much, that weekend. However, she understood where I was, at the time, and played it really cool. She didn't crowd me, didn't demonstrate any expectations of commitment...and let me figure it out on my own what was best for me.

7 months after our first date, I asked her to marry me. 14 months after we met, we were married. We now have four children, and next month we celebrate our 17th anniversary.

It hasn't always been easy, but through it all we decided we had made a commitment to each other to give it our best--to try to make it work. Through good times and bad. She's more than I ever deserved, and I thank God every day that she waited for me to figure it out.
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:48 PM   #5
milkman milkman is online now
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I think you should begin stalking her right now, day and night, to show her how truly dedicated you are to her.
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:51 PM   #6
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milkman
I think you should begin stalking her right now, day and night, to show her how truly dedicated you are to her.
I know you are kidding, but if my wife had crowded or pressured me.....during my rebound, I'm pretty sure I would have left as fast as I could have.
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:53 PM   #7
milkman milkman is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Kotter
I know you are kidding, but if my wife had crowded or pressured me.....during my rebound, I'm pretty sure I would have left as fast as I could have.
What?
Me?
Kid?

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Old 07-01-2006, 06:54 PM   #8
Eskimo Joe Eskimo Joe is offline
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I've intentionally not read the other responses to be unbiased with my remarks.

First off is this a disposable relationship?

If it is not disposable how badly do you want this to work?

In todays world it looks like most marriages are just temporary. The divorce rate (disposal) is climbing every year.

If it were me I'd take as much time as I could to make sure this was a life mate and not just another ride in the sack.
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Old 07-01-2006, 07:00 PM   #9
Psyko Tek Psyko Tek is offline
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Kotter's right, if she decides your the one it will happen...

tain't a damn thing you can do about it
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Old 07-01-2006, 07:04 PM   #10
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I'd give her all the space she needs and get you some strange on the side to bide the time.
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Old 07-01-2006, 07:07 PM   #11
DJay23 DJay23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Kotter
I had the exact thing happen to me in reverse....I had dated a girl who I had thought was "it," but after four years we stagnated and a long-distance relationship didn not make the heart grow fonder. We ended it in March. In May, I met a wonderful woman who was everthing I'd ever imagined--but I was insistent for the first 3-4 months to myself (and less obviously, to her) I wasn't looking for anything long-term, I considered myself "on the rebound," and said I was just looking to have a good time. I found out later, according to her, she "knew" I was the "one" after our first date. She even told her mom and best friend as much, that weekend. However, she understood where I was, at the time, and played it really cool. She didn't crowd me, didn't demonstrate any expectations of commitment...and let me figure it out on my own what was best for me.

7 months after our first date, I asked her to marry me. 14 months after we met, we were married. We now have four children, and next month we celebrate our 17th anniversary.

It hasn't always been easy, but through it all we decided we had made a commitment to each other to give it our best--to try to make it work. Through good times and bad. She's more than I ever deserved, and I thank God every day that she waited for me to figure it out.
Well, I said I probably wouldn't be swayed by what anyone says, but I have to say this is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I plan on giving her space and only being a friend to her. She actually told me she feels closer to me since I revealed to her I went through a similar phase 5 years ago and know exactly how she feels.
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Old 07-01-2006, 07:09 PM   #12
milkman milkman is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJay23
Well, I said I probably wouldn't be swayed by what anyone says, but I have to say this is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I plan on giving her space and only being a friend to her. She actually told me she feels closer to me since I revealed to her I went through a similar phase 5 years ago and know exactly how she feels.
Damn!

And I was so hoping that I would be the one to inspire!

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Old 07-01-2006, 07:10 PM   #13
DJay23 DJay23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eskimo Joe
I've intentionally not read the other responses to be unbiased with my remarks.

First off is this a disposable relationship?

If it is not disposable how badly do you want this to work?

In todays world it looks like most marriages are just temporary. The divorce rate (disposal) is climbing every year.

If it were me I'd take as much time as I could to make sure this was a life mate and not just another ride in the sack.
She's not at all disposable. Usually one of the first things I think of when I first meet a woman is what i can do to her in the sack. With her, I was physically attracted, but it's like my brain told my cock to shut up and look deeper.

She is someone who has made it clear to me that she has no desire to leave the area (a problem I have encountered in the past, they all want to get the **** out of central PA).

I try not to look too far into the future, but with her, I could easily envision spending my life with her. I want it very badly to work.
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DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.DJay23 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 07-01-2006, 07:11 PM   #14
DJay23 DJay23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milkman
Damn!

And I was so hoping that I would be the one to inspire!



I'm much too lazy to be a stalker.
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Old 07-01-2006, 07:12 PM   #15
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJay23
Well, I said I probably wouldn't be swayed by what anyone says, but I have to say this is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I plan on giving her space and only being a friend to her. She actually told me she feels closer to me since I revealed to her I went through a similar phase 5 years ago and know exactly how she feels.
You are welcome. Be patient, but if you know what you want you don't need to wait 2 or 3 years as some might say. Unless you are really young (under 23-24 yrs old) you probably know what you want by now. Good luck.
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