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Old 08-02-2006, 04:42 PM  
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The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

I often see or hear people saying or doing things that I find intriguing, but it's not quite worth making a thread about. I figure that other people might have the same experiences. Therefore, I hope that this thread can become a clearinghouse for those little observations that might not otherwise make the cut.

My first two would be:

1. I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked. In the waiting room, a family came in and sat next to me: a mother, a girl of about 13 or 14, and two young boys. The mother is talking on the phone and scolding the boys who are out of control, and then the teenage girl came over to her mother. She's got both hands up near her face, and asks the mother, "What is this?" My initial thinking was that it was something in her eye since we were, after all, in an optometrist's office. Then the girl says, "I thought it was a pimple, but I'm trying to pop it and nothing's coming out."

Where is your shame, young girl? Where is your shame?


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

Please feel free to post your own minor observations here in the future.
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Old 10-13-2006, 08:50 PM   #61
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Old 10-13-2006, 08:54 PM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I bet she stole your wallet.
No Just my pride
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Old 10-13-2006, 08:56 PM   #63
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Old 10-13-2006, 10:48 PM   #64
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I pissed away all my pride and self-respect years ago. It's very liberating.

Well that was a given.
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Old 10-14-2006, 09:49 AM   #65
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Was eating at the local chinese buffet [across from the county courthouse], when in walks the mulletin'-est, flannellest pair of bull dykes and their carney-folk entourage. Couldn't tell if the 'men-folk' were family or the swinging meat. Anyways, the older gal mutters "sit down and eat quick, we gots to get to court."

That's just preamble. The funny is when the younger BD voices her 'complaint' to the harried busboy.

Turns out that one of the offerings on the buffet is a concoction called [with little stars on the name plate] King Lobster Claw. It's some imitation crab meat, breaded and deep fried, with a little crab claw sticking out the side to suggest authenticity.

YBD must not've paid attention to the star-adorned sign, because she looms over this poor chinaman, and exclaims "Mah chickens gots bones in it. Ahh think ah chipped mah toof."

Cue me [the only of our group to have caught the exchange] with the spit take, and subsequently, desperately, trying to pretend my guffaws were a result of something other than YBD's remarks, lest the cross-eyed, banjo pickin' entourage get wise and tune me up in the parking lot.
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Old 10-14-2006, 10:03 AM   #66
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Old 10-24-2006, 08:56 AM   #67
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So....last night, the wife is in the living room, watching "walk the line"..again on our new 32" hd flatscreen. I'm in the man room, watching MNF when the phone rings. A relative of hers is in our town with an elderly friend and there are no rooms available for 30 miles. I drive to their location, lead them to Casa de Iowanian.

These are older gentlemen, who work with draft horses and the like....On the way in, they mention that they always like to have a whiskey drink before bed on this trip...and I have no problem with that. They bring out a 1/5 of CMist, I get out glasses, and happen to have the Pepsi and Sprite they seek. I proceed to work on the beer I had for the game, and we sit in the kitchen talking for about 45 minutes. Its approaching 11:15, and we've all got to be up around 6.....I realize that in 45 minutes, 2/3s of that bottle of Whiskey were gone. These fellows mix their drinks STOUT.

Anyway....now to the fun part. They don't want to bother us or wake the sleeping child by using the upstairs extra bedroom, and ask for the sofas..1 in the man room, 1 in the living room.....fine, whatever. So we head to the main part of the house to show them where they'll be staying, with brideowanian leading the way and as she enters the living room, she goes into some Serious Kung-Fu-Slow Motion-Morpheus moves, diving for the remote.......It turns out, "walk the line" was over, and HBO had scheduled some pretty graphic sex show....and there, in 32", HD glory, is a nude, spread woman plunging herself with an Huge object that I can only surmise is illegal in at least half of the 50 states. We're talking Visible cervix if not blocked by the tonka dumptruck or whatever that thing was.....

I'm pretty sure she had the "recall" button hit before they rounded the corner....She's still horrified today, afraid they saw or heard the moans....I can't stop giggling.

Iowanian was known to have been watching football in the other room.....The basket of half folded laundry, was in front of the HBOpRon.
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:54 AM   #68
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:00 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
So....last night, the wife is in the living room, watching "walk the line"..again on our new 32" hd flatscreen. I'm in the man room, watching MNF when the phone rings. A relative of hers is in our town with an elderly friend and there are no rooms available for 30 miles. I drive to their location, lead them to Casa de Iowanian.

These are older gentlemen, who work with draft horses and the like....On the way in, they mention that they always like to have a whiskey drink before bed on this trip...and I have no problem with that. They bring out a 1/5 of CMist, I get out glasses, and happen to have the Pepsi and Sprite they seek. I proceed to work on the beer I had for the game, and we sit in the kitchen talking for about 45 minutes. Its approaching 11:15, and we've all got to be up around 6.....I realize that in 45 minutes, 2/3s of that bottle of Whiskey were gone. These fellows mix their drinks STOUT.

Anyway....now to the fun part. They don't want to bother us or wake the sleeping child by using the upstairs extra bedroom, and ask for the sofas..1 in the man room, 1 in the living room.....fine, whatever. So we head to the main part of the house to show them where they'll be staying, with brideowanian leading the way and as she enters the living room, she goes into some Serious Kung-Fu-Slow Motion-Morpheus moves, diving for the remote.......It turns out, "walk the line" was over, and HBO had scheduled some pretty graphic sex show....and there, in 32", HD glory, is a nude, spread woman plunging herself with an Huge object that I can only surmise is illegal in at least half of the 50 states. We're talking Visible cervix if not blocked by the tonka dumptruck or whatever that thing was.....

I'm pretty sure she had the "recall" button hit before they rounded the corner....She's still horrified today, afraid they saw or heard the moans....I can't stop giggling.

Iowanian was known to have been watching football in the other room.....The basket of half folded laundry, was in front of the HBOpRon.
Hee-Hee, chicks are dirtier minded than men sometimes, they just pretend they arent. I'm guessing your night ended well
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:01 AM   #70
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True....

Have some guests in your home, follow you into a room that you were unaware the "Sex machine" episode of Real Seks 85 was broadcasting.

well...I'm sure you wouldn't be surpised it was on.....and it would probably be some bizarre fetish stuff.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:01 AM   #71
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Hee-Hee, chicks are dirtier minded than men sometimes, they just pretend they arent. I'm guessing your night ended well
With a baby, 2 guests in the house? You're not married.

I'd say the same thing, but she does get a pass...I had walked in earlier, and it was in fact the Johnny Cash movie.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:40 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
So....last night, the wife is in the living room, watching "walk the line"..again on our new 32" hd flatscreen. I'm in the man room, watching MNF when the phone rings. A relative of hers is in our town with an elderly friend and there are no rooms available for 30 miles. I drive to their location, lead them to Casa de Iowanian.

These are older gentlemen, who work with draft horses and the like....On the way in, they mention that they always like to have a whiskey drink before bed on this trip...and I have no problem with that. They bring out a 1/5 of CMist, I get out glasses, and happen to have the Pepsi and Sprite they seek. I proceed to work on the beer I had for the game, and we sit in the kitchen talking for about 45 minutes. Its approaching 11:15, and we've all got to be up around 6.....I realize that in 45 minutes, 2/3s of that bottle of Whiskey were gone. These fellows mix their drinks STOUT.

Anyway....now to the fun part. They don't want to bother us or wake the sleeping child by using the upstairs extra bedroom, and ask for the sofas..1 in the man room, 1 in the living room.....fine, whatever. So we head to the main part of the house to show them where they'll be staying, with brideowanian leading the way and as she enters the living room, she goes into some Serious Kung-Fu-Slow Motion-Morpheus moves, diving for the remote.......It turns out, "walk the line" was over, and HBO had scheduled some pretty graphic sex show....and there, in 32", HD glory, is a nude, spread woman plunging herself with an Huge object that I can only surmise is illegal in at least half of the 50 states. We're talking Visible cervix if not blocked by the tonka dumptruck or whatever that thing was.....

I'm pretty sure she had the "recall" button hit before they rounded the corner....She's still horrified today, afraid they saw or heard the moans....I can't stop giggling.

Iowanian was known to have been watching football in the other room.....The basket of half folded laundry, was in front of the HBOpRon.
OMG that is too funny.. My wife would have done a Matrix like move too. Great story.
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Old 11-10-2006, 02:33 PM   #73
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I have a couple of observations from this past week.

1. I saw two policemen go by on Segways the other day. How fast are those things anyway? Could they be used to chase someone down, or would the policemen have to jump off them and run if a perp started fleeing?

2. I saw a woman walking a bird the other day. It was getting dark and I was walking home, and there were two women standing on a corner waiting for the light to change. One of them was walking a bulldog, and the other one had her arm crooked out horizontally in front of her. There was a bird sitting on her forearm. It was about 8 or 10 inches tall and had a profile like a hawk or a falcon, and it made me wonder if she was some sort of urban falconer.
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Old 11-10-2006, 03:23 PM   #74
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I'm sitting in Sky Harbor airport yesterday when a smallish man with one arm strolls by with a cart. Really! This isn't BS. Anyway, he walks over to a nearby trash container and struggles to get the lid off. I'm thinking, well, at least he's trying and has a job that pays him a wage. He's probably a pretty decent dude. (I have empathy for people who aren't at the top of the class, etc..) He procedes to take a couple of items at the bottom of the trash can with his hand (instead of removing the liner). He got them out and carried them to the cart. The big, nasty, trash-filled bag that he was going to put them in was folded down at the top. He put his head into the big, nasty trash bag to grab the top and opened it with his teeth! YIKES! I felt so bad not running over to help, but it was too late. He got it open and deposited the trash and went along to another trash can. I thought to myself, "Who is his supervisor and why is he doing this job?" Couldn't he run a vacuum cleaner or something?

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Old 12-20-2006, 11:11 AM   #75
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So there I was last night, alone in the electronics Isle, searching high and low for the right Home theater to bring home. Finding in myself the proper amount of time to wait for some assistance and yet wanting time to not be annoyed by a salesman, I struggled immediately with the prospects of shopping this time of year.

My inner thoughts on the Panasonic vs Yamaha systems was Shattered by a sound. It sounded like a wet weather balloon was untied and allowed to bounce around the Isle behind me.

PFfffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFRBBBBBRRRRRRRRRFffffffffffffffft

Followed by the muffled "ooooh no" of the guy who'd stepped into what he thought was a quiet, private spot and had obviously sharted.

He saw me, I saw him and with uncomfortable eye contact I said the the only thing that came to mind.

"Can I get Courtesy flush in Isle 3?"
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