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Old 08-02-2006, 04:42 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

I often see or hear people saying or doing things that I find intriguing, but it's not quite worth making a thread about. I figure that other people might have the same experiences. Therefore, I hope that this thread can become a clearinghouse for those little observations that might not otherwise make the cut.

My first two would be:

1. I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked. In the waiting room, a family came in and sat next to me: a mother, a girl of about 13 or 14, and two young boys. The mother is talking on the phone and scolding the boys who are out of control, and then the teenage girl came over to her mother. She's got both hands up near her face, and asks the mother, "What is this?" My initial thinking was that it was something in her eye since we were, after all, in an optometrist's office. Then the girl says, "I thought it was a pimple, but I'm trying to pop it and nothing's coming out."

Where is your shame, young girl? Where is your shame?


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

Please feel free to post your own minor observations here in the future.
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Old 12-22-2006, 12:33 AM   #76
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I was in an airport the other day and was trying to find something. A guy with an airline tag was standing around nearby, and even though he had a bit of that "I'm weird and stay away from me" look, I went over and asked him.

Sure enough, he was weird, and he prattled on a bit after giving me my directions. I smiled and nodded and kept edging away from him when I noticed it.

As he was talking, he kept edging closer to me, and he was missing a whole bunch of teeth on the bottom. He had a couple left, and with the angle at which he was facing me, I had a clear view of them. I swear that, even though they were in the front of his mouth, they were bicuspids.
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Old 12-22-2006, 12:51 AM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
So there I was last night, alone in the electronics Isle, searching high and low for the right Home theater to bring home. Finding in myself the proper amount of time to wait for some assistance and yet wanting time to not be annoyed by a salesman, I struggled immediately with the prospects of shopping this time of year.

My inner thoughts on the Panasonic vs Yamaha systems was Shattered by a sound. It sounded like a wet weather balloon was untied and allowed to bounce around the Isle behind me.

PFfffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFRBBBBBRRRRRRRRRFffffffffffffffft

Followed by the muffled "ooooh no" of the guy who'd stepped into what he thought was a quiet, private spot and had obviously sharted.

He saw me, I saw him and with uncomfortable eye contact I said the the only thing that came to mind.

"Can I get Courtesy flush in Isle 3?"
ohnoes!
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Old 01-14-2007, 05:17 PM   #78
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The locker room in my health club has hair dryers in it. You walk right by them when you're going to the showers, and there's some tall older fellow who stands there naked and used the hair dryers to dry the ... (ahem) ... the goods, and other areas with deep crevices. You shouldn't be using the hair dryers for that. You just shouldn't.
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In the final seven games of the 2013 season, the Chiefs averaged 34.6 points per game, scored 38 points or more 4 times, and went 2-5. The NFL has ruined the sport.
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Old 01-14-2007, 05:34 PM   #79
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Just got back from my honeymoon on Hawaii.
While doing the Polynesian Cultural Center thing, which is basically a "tour" of the cultures of the Polynesian islands, our tour guide explained how the Fijians would sacrifice humans to the Gods.

Old guy in our group went ahead and asked if that was still a common practice.

guhhhhh.....
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:09 AM   #80
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Two minor episodes involving the female of the species.

#1. There is a woman sitting in her mini-van listening to Billie Holliday type jazz. It must be pretty loud as she has her windows up and my window is not open, yet I can still hear it clearly. As far as I could tell, she wasn't smoking cigarettes or tossing back gin.

2. I stop at the same convenience store every morning for coffee. One of the clerks does not speak, instead she softly squeeks. I swear that the only intelligible words I've heard from her are 'thank you". A typical encounter:

Her: meee beeek peee (barely audible)

Me: Hi

Her: mity oorr eeent (sixty-four cents)

Me: (hand her the money)

Her: eeerty eeex (thirty six)

Me: Thank you.

Her: Thank you.

I think she might have a speech impediment, but she has honestly never spoken loudly enough for me to tell for sure.
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:24 AM   #81
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I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:30 AM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonpenz
I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.
the stuff with the eight graders was great.........
that's real funny


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Old 02-12-2007, 11:32 AM   #83
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You should have gone home and put on your Greg brady "johnny Bravo" outfit and upon your return, done a live, accoustic "chiefsplanet" song.

This time though, I think you should have done a song to that clever Iowanian's poop thread Lyrics.
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Old 02-12-2007, 12:33 PM   #84
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I went to a charity art auction this weekend, and apparently a Chiefsplanet member was in charge of signage.
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Last edited by Rain Man; 05-13-2008 at 06:27 PM..
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Old 02-12-2007, 12:54 PM   #85
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Old 02-12-2007, 03:29 PM   #86
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I was at a stoplight near my house the other day and this dude in a jeep cheroke with a big dent in the rear starting squeeling his rear tires as he waits to take a right turn, he does it again. Then he proceeds to take the right but goes 4 lanes into oncoming traffic (4 lane road with a passing lane in the middle) and as he turns into dillons he does some doughnut and then does the same exact thing again out of dillons...taking a right...going 3 lanes too far into oncoming traffic.....it should be much more difficult to get a drivers license these days
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Old 02-12-2007, 03:34 PM   #87
Adept Havelock Adept Havelock is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonpenz
I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.

Are you saying there's a store in that area that still hasn't closed?
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Old 02-12-2007, 06:52 PM   #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdcox
Two minor episodes involving the female of the species.

#1. There is a woman sitting in her mini-van listening to Billie Holliday type jazz. It must be pretty loud as she has her windows up and my window is not open, yet I can still hear it clearly. As far as I could tell, she wasn't smoking cigarettes or tossing back gin.

2. I stop at the same convenience store every morning for coffee. One of the clerks does not speak, instead she softly squeeks. I swear that the only intelligible words I've heard from her are 'thank you". A typical encounter:

Her: meee beeek peee (barely audible)

Me: Hi

Her: mity oorr eeent (sixty-four cents)

Me: (hand her the money)

Her: eeerty eeex (thirty six)

Me: Thank you.

Her: Thank you.

I think she might have a speech impediment, but she has honestly never spoken loudly enough for me to tell for sure.
Perhaps she's deaf.
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Old 02-27-2007, 08:26 PM   #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C-Mac
Perhaps she's deaf.
Or a rat.
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Old 02-27-2007, 08:31 PM   #90
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I was in the grocery store this weekend, and there was a couple in there that was really, really studying the canned tuna. They were standing there, and the woman had her hands on her hips and the guy was in the thinker pose, and they were really studying the tuna. Every once in a while, one of them would reach forward and pick up a can and study it, and then put it back. I wanted some tuna myself, and honored my initial policy of not reaching in front of them, but I stood there watching them and watching them and watching them and they couldn't make a decision, so finally I reached around them and grabbed a can of Bumblebee.

On an entirely unrelated note, my dental hygienist today was a bombshell. At one point, she told me to turn toward her and open my mouth, and I thought, "What do you think I've been doing for the last 20 minutes?"
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