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Old 08-02-2006, 04:42 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

I often see or hear people saying or doing things that I find intriguing, but it's not quite worth making a thread about. I figure that other people might have the same experiences. Therefore, I hope that this thread can become a clearinghouse for those little observations that might not otherwise make the cut.

My first two would be:

1. I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked. In the waiting room, a family came in and sat next to me: a mother, a girl of about 13 or 14, and two young boys. The mother is talking on the phone and scolding the boys who are out of control, and then the teenage girl came over to her mother. She's got both hands up near her face, and asks the mother, "What is this?" My initial thinking was that it was something in her eye since we were, after all, in an optometrist's office. Then the girl says, "I thought it was a pimple, but I'm trying to pop it and nothing's coming out."

Where is your shame, young girl? Where is your shame?


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

Please feel free to post your own minor observations here in the future.
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Old 02-28-2007, 11:00 AM   #91
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Each day at work, as I leave to go get lunch or run an errand, I drive by this woman on a bike. She rides up and down the street in front of my office. Each day, I think, "man, she is an odd looking lady." Dressed in a white tank top thing, leather mini skirt, fish net stockings, pitch black hair down past her shoulders with high heels. Now, I've never done it myself, but it can't be easy to ride a bike that way. As I get closer, I realize that this ugly woman is actually an uglier man dressed as an ugly woman.

Shortly after I pass the ugly man dressed as an ugly woman on a bike, I get the joy of seeing the old man on roller skates. What's funny about the old man on roller skates is that I've seen him doing this for 4 years, so he's been skating for awhile. But he looks like he can barely skate. Imagine putting a dog on skates and watching it trying to keep it's balance.
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Old 05-18-2007, 09:03 AM   #92
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Last night the Trailer park Circus came to visit.

There I am, preparing for bed in my nice, family friendly neighborhood a little after 11pm when I hear verbal altercations and words that routinely end with violence. I knew violence was intended because some of the words were things like "I'll eff you up" "me an mah sistah gonna kiw you, ho".

This peaked my attenion as the rental property accross the street and 1 house north often does. Some standing in the street, some in the yard on our side of the road, some in their yard......

One gal, with a baby wearing only a diaper(see temp, 45degF) on her hip, shouting at another about "doin' coke in front mah babaah" and all kinds of fun stuff, people like to hear in the streets of their neighborhood, which consists of elderly and young families with babies.

The cops roll up, and My jaw drops at the stupidity unleashed by this throng of dumb****ary swirling around this merri-go-round of dumbass.

quotes: "I's takes care uh mines kids"(I've used that as a joke before, but I heard the exact quote)...though by the time the cop arrives, the Baby(6-9months) had been tossed into the back of a car with the door open, so mama and mama sista can go "whip that ass"......and to the cop says "You know me, you know I whipped her ass at the walmart parking lot". "I hang out at the skate park every day watching basketball"...

I see 2 of the renters standing near the car with the open doors and the child, to their credit, caring for the child that the cops obviously are oblivous to......

Then Kidowanian cries.............an already building anger becomes a sweating, pulsing, veins pumping visibly in the neck and forehead Rage.

In what must have been an out of body experience, I find myself heading out the door barefoot, across the street in the direction of the renters(the same ones I'd talked to a month ago about too loud of music at midnight and woke up the kid...politely I might add.....and then were busted the following weekend for 15 year old drinking party).

I hear myself saying "So....can we look forward to this Jerry Springer Bullshit all summer, or will it be moving back to the trailer park".....You woke up my effing kid again and I'm not happy".....

At this point the cops and dumbasses in the street 20' away become quiet enough to hear ones self think for the first time in half an hour.....

so I turn and in a manner I wish I could quote, indicated that if said loudmouth put half the effort into getting a job that she did "hanging out at the skate park" and "whippin dat girl ass", she'd be effing civilized enough to have had her own effing baby at home in bed on a thursday, instead of sitting unattended in a car, in the cold with a diaper while she fought with a crackhead in the street".

"we're sorry" suggest the renters.

I wasn't in the mood to explain why, even though they weren't making the ruckus, they are ultimately responsible for their home and events that happen there.


I wish it were legal to crack heads with a stick.
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Old 05-18-2007, 09:55 AM   #93
greg63 greg63 is offline
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Old 05-18-2007, 12:38 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Plow
Shortly after I pass the ugly man dressed as an ugly woman on a bike, I get the joy of seeing the old man on roller skates. What's funny about the old man on roller skates is that I've seen him doing this for 4 years, so he's been skating for awhile. But he looks like he can barely skate. Imagine putting a dog on skates and watching it trying to keep it's balance.
I have seen that guy skating around Hutch before. I almost died laughing when I saw him. He doesn't look very comfortable on the skates but he skates on. Funny stuff.
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:34 PM   #95
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Its not often that I find myself nearly speechless.....

So, I register and play in a $50 "bounty hunter" poker tournament on wednesdays sometimes. Of 120, I've been Knocked out 3 times with pocket jacks while sitting between 30, 17, and last night...13. Well, that part is irrelevant.

So, after the first hour break, the casino serves "free" hoagie sandwiches and you have 15 minutes before the 2nd round begins.

Last week, along with alot of the others, I headed for the Cave of Urination, and as I step into my spot of choice, following man code, leaving a stall between myself and both sides(also mini walls between each), looking strait up, down, and above shoulder level, when something to my left startles me.

The guy 2 urinals over, has a 9" hoagie embedded in his mouth....no hands, in a public restroom, while urinating(assumed).

I'm initially shocked....who effing eats in a public rest room.....especially while taking a piss.

now, my mind gets to going and I'm making wagers in my own mind. "what in the hell will he do? Will he keep holding the sandwich in the mouth anaconda grip while washing hands, and then eat it, OOOOR, would he Go strait from his hot dog to Sub in his mouth?

As I'm walking by, towards the sinks, he turns, and I can't help it....I say "dude, If I had a camera phone, your ass would be famous on the internet tomorrow"....mostly to see if he'd dirty dick his own dinner. He says "mmmffff mfff ffff mmmffffffffffmmuckmmfff mmmffyoummmm"

I start washing my hands....and you guessed it....the nasty bastard, while walking by, reaches up and grabs the sandwich and heads back into the tournament.

I think I'll wear medical gloves to the casino from now on.

Nasty bastards.
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:23 PM   #96
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Stay outta Iowa.... Iowanian wait for the next uproar call the cops and their landlord.
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:24 PM   #97
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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It's too bad my wireless couldn't detect a signal at the doctor's office today. Interesting crowd of people.
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Old 08-21-2007, 05:43 PM   #98
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I was in line at the grocery store, and the guy in front of me was an urban cool dude. He had the wifebeater shirt, baggy pants, and all the regalia of his chosen image. On the side of his neck, he had a tattoo that said, "100% Hustler".

Then I looked in his hands, and saw that he was holding a WIC coupon to get free baby food. That gave me a good laugh.
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Old 04-08-2008, 06:03 PM   #99
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Here's a lifetime first for me.

There's a mall near my office, which is kind of an odd covered outdoor mall. I cut through it to get to my car on days that I drive, and I walk by a set of escalators. They're quite tall, covering more height than a typical escalator.

Here's the first: a person was stuck on the escalator.

I always thought that was just a bad joke, but it was true. It was a guy in his 30s or so, and while he looked healthy he had one of those walkers, so obviously he had some sort of disability. He was about 2/3rds of the way up, standing on a step with his walker, and a mall security guy was hanging on to him to keep him from falling. Another mall security guard was at the bottom, and he has starting and stopping the escalator a second at a time. The escalator was inching the guy down.

I have no idea what this was about. The top of the escalator is about 30 feet from a bank of two elevators, so I'm not sure if the elevators were busted or if the guy tried the escalator and got freaked out or something.

It was odd, too, because they were jerking the escalator on and off, which to me seemed like a much riskier move than just turning it on and having the guard hold the guy while it smoothly descended. But hey, I figure that if they're mall security, they must know what they're doing.
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Old 04-08-2008, 06:06 PM   #100
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Old 04-08-2008, 06:28 PM   #101
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ok, I was in Wal-mart a couple of days ago. It was around midnight and just wanted to pick up a few groceries and get the hell out of there. Well there is a female undergarment section right near the groceries and as I'm wheeling my cart around I noticed this guy, probably in his early 20's, doing an exaggerated "gangsta" walk. He continues this retarded walk with his arms waving around and goes straight to the panties that were hanging there. These weren't women's panties either, they were little girl underwear. He yell's "AHH $HIT" picks one of the garments up and then yells "HELL YA"

I was rather speechless and got the hell out of there.
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Old 04-08-2008, 07:45 PM   #102
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Oh, another interesting observation. I saw a handsome homeless guy the other day. Most homeless guys are less than attractive, which is obvious even to people like me who have an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. This guy was dirty and unshaven and was obviously a bum and not a European hiker or something, but he had great hair and chiseled features and broad shoulders. He looked like George Clooney pretending to be a homeless guy.
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Old 04-08-2008, 07:48 PM   #103
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He probably gets all the choice homeless 'tang. Like the chick with big boobs who used to be fat but lost a ton of weight when she became homeless.

I bet they get it on under the nearest I-70 overpass Friday nights. He probably steals a bottle from a sleeping wino and makes it real romantic. She wears her best sackcloth.
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Old 04-08-2008, 07:50 PM   #104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
Oh, another interesting observation. I saw a handsome homeless guy the other day. Most homeless guys are less than attractive, which is obvious even to people like me who have an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. This guy was dirty and unshaven and was obviously a bum and not a European hiker or something, but he had great hair and chiseled features and broad shoulders. He looked like George Clooney pretending to be a homeless guy.
I'm currently homeless, yet still dead sexy.
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Old 04-08-2008, 09:36 PM   #105
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Quote:
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I'm currently homeless, yet still dead sexy.
Do you find that it helps you get more money on street corners, or is it better to be ugly?
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