Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The GET IN MAH BELLY! Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-14-2006, 09:00 PM  
eChief eChief is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Casino cash: $250
psychiatric hotline





The largest managed-care business in the Washington area just installed voice mail on their psychiatric hotline.
Callers are prompted as follows:
"Welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite your ear off.
If you are ambivalent, please hang up and call back in a few minutes.
If you are comatose, stuporous, or obtunded, press each number from 9 to 1 backwards, and then leave your name and number when you hear the beep.
If you would like to speak to a physician, pleased be advised that your plan requires a second opinion and a 30 day waiting period before you can receive this service, which has been designated nonessential."
Posts: 221
eChief is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.eChief is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.