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Old 10-15-2006, 12:37 PM  
JimNasium JimNasium is offline
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Have you ever felt like you were in an episode of Planet of the Apes?

So I'm having a good Sunday morning. I get to have some coffee with extra-sugar with JennyGump and then we go get some breakfast and read the paper...great food and better conversation. Jenny had asked me to help her load and unload her newly repaired mower so we jump into the MILF-mobile and head over to the farm supply place. This is where things got weird.

Imagine that the MILF-mobile is actually the spacecraft that shuttles Charlton Heston to the Planet of the Apes. We get out of the spacecraft and enter the farm supply. I'm immediately confronted with a bunch of people that I have nothing more in common than Heston had with the super-evolved gorillas and orangutans. No problem Jim, don't make eye contact and surely no harm will come to you.

We get the ticket, make payment and are directed around back to pick up the mower. There we are greeted by a fifty-something man that is obviously not pleased by his lot in life...a life highlighted by working Sundays at a farm supply store. Things are cool up until he rolls the mower to the back of the MILF-mobile. As I'm signing for release of the mower, a voice emanates from behind me.

Him: Troy-Bilt huh? That's supposed to be a pretty good mower.

I turn around and find myself confronted by a thirty-something guy in a cowboy hat with a lazy eye. I'm momentarily speechless. Perhaps I was trying to decide which eye to look at or perhaps it was the fact that I was being asked to discuss something motorized but finally I was able to mutter "Yeah, it's been a good one so far." I bend down to fold the mower handles down so it will fit into the back of the MILF-mobile when I'm confronted with this retort.

Him: If it's been so good why did you have it here?

Me: Well, ummm....you see her son filled up the oil reservoir all the way and...

Him: Did it blow the seal?

Me: Ummm....the seal?

Now he's helping me load the mower into the back of the MILF-mobile. There is no escape. I'm trapped and being forced to converse with a brush ape. How did I end up on this planet? How will I ever get back to earth?

Him: Did the oil overfill cause you to blow a seal?

Me: No, we didn't know what was wrong. Ummm, so thanks for your help.

Him: No, problem.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I'm not on another planet. This is earth and earth has been taken over by beady-eyed, slope-headed, mouth-breathing brush apes. He extends his hand and while I was tempted to scream "Get your hands off of me you damned, dirty ape" I resisted. Instead I decided my best course of action was to shake his paw. Never, ever tease the animals.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:39 PM   #2
JBucc JBucc is offline
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It was nice meeting you btw.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:42 PM   #3
CHIEF4EVER CHIEF4EVER is offline
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Have you ever felt like you were in an episode of Planet of the Apes?


Yes. Right after spending half an hour reading the "Chiefs will take Welbourne back" thread.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:45 PM   #4
JimNasium JimNasium is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBucc
It was nice meeting you btw.
I liked you hat.
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JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:51 PM   #5
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Snob.

Did you at least offer him some of your plug tobacco?
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:53 PM   #6
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimNasium
I liked you hat.
did he like you giant silver chain that says bubba gump?

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Old 10-15-2006, 12:53 PM   #7
Jenny Gump Jenny Gump is offline
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You know what they say about brush apes....


takes one to know one.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:55 PM   #8
JimNasium JimNasium is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole
Snob.

Did you at least offer him some of your plug tobacco?
Arturo Fuente? Havana Hon Bueno? Cohiba?
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JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:56 PM   #9
JimNasium JimNasium is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevieray
did he like you giant silver chain that says bubba gump?

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Wanna talk about rap being an extension of the blues?
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JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:57 PM   #10
Jenny Gump Jenny Gump is offline
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You picked up my mower, and that was nice, but you could have at least started my engine.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:59 PM   #11
JimNasium JimNasium is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny Gump
You picked up my mower, and that was nice, but you could have at least started my engine.
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JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.JimNasium must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 10-15-2006, 01:01 PM   #12
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimNasium
Wanna talk about rap being an extension of the blues?
"yo joe bob! dja git that there mower loaded up?"

"yup, I hope that feller doesn't get his dockers dirty get;n 'er out later..what kind of chimp doesn't know that overfilling the oil will blow the seal...? yukukukuk...i'll fig'r he don't even own a hammer....i'll bey that his purty sister wears the britches"
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Old 10-15-2006, 01:01 PM   #13
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny Gump
You picked up my mower, and that was nice, but you could have at least started my engine.
You mean the dumbass delivered the mower and didn't even hang around long enough to slap around the little man in your boat?
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Old 10-15-2006, 01:02 PM   #14
morphius morphius is offline
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I thought this was going to be a unshaven Jennygump story.
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Old 10-15-2006, 01:02 PM   #15
Jenny Gump Jenny Gump is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole
You mean the dumbass delivered the mower and didn't even hang around long enough to slap around the little man in your boat?
I resent that. It's more like a life raft than a boat.
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Jenny Gump is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Jenny Gump is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Jenny Gump is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Jenny Gump is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Jenny Gump is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Jenny Gump is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
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