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Old 11-14-2014, 10:25 PM  
SNR SNR is online now
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LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle

I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:29 PM   #2
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:30 PM   #3
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:37 PM   #4
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I actually like Great Wall of Pain. Am I stupid?
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:40 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buehler445 View Post
I actually like Great Wall of Pain. Am I stupid?
I wasn't able to dumb myself down enough to make them as bad as Beast Mode.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:40 PM   #6
kcxiv kcxiv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNR View Post
I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
Take a ****ing ativan and relax lol
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:42 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNR View Post
I wasn't able to dumb myself down enough to make them as bad as Beast Mode.
Smith, Charles and Berry were pretty bad. I chuckled at Great Wall of Pain and Joint Chiefs of Boom. Couldn't suppress the creativity I suppose.

And to be clear I'm in no way advocating we call him that. I just chuckled.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:43 PM   #8
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They should just call him what he really is:

Ugly as **** human being mode.

I mean, I know football players aren't all supposed to look like Tom Terrific; but Kurt Cobain post-shotgun may be a better looking person.

He is pretty good at the foozballs though. And eating skittles.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:43 PM   #9
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I think it's Beast Mode like the Transfirmers in Beast Wars..?

I could be totally off, though.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:45 PM   #10
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:53 PM   #11
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Quote:
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I wasn't able to dumb myself down enough to make them as bad as Beast Mode.
Iirc they started calling him beast mode in college.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:56 PM   #12
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I can't deal with all this change. clay going all homer. Shun going negative. SNR starting LNBS threads?

WTF
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:58 PM   #13
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Wow. Not sure if I should try and answer your obvious reverse troll questions or just troll you. We Hawk fans didn't officially name Lynch's running style "beast mode", he did. Yea, it seems childish until you watch him run. He doesn't go down when hit or when a couple of 300+ pound lineman pile on his back. He keeps moving forward and stays upright until the O line can push the pile another 2 - 10 yards. Lynch also has a propensity to run over D lineman, linebackers, stiff arm D backs to the ground etc. Beastquake was legit. He ran over several Aints players and the fan reaction caused seismometer readings in the sludge under the HAwks stadium to register and earthquake. Ergo "beastquake".
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:00 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by irocdave View Post
Wow. Not sure if I should try and answer your obvious reverse troll questions or just troll you. We Hawk fans didn't officially name Lynch's running style "beast mode", he did. Yea, it seems childish until you watch him run. He doesn't go down when hit or when a couple of 300+ pound lineman pile on his back. He keeps moving forward and stays upright until the O line can push the pile another 2 - 10 yards. Lynch also has a propensity to run over D lineman, linebackers, stiff arm D backs to the ground etc. Beastquake was legit. He ran over several Aints players and the fan reaction caused seismometer readings in the sludge under the HAwks stadium to register and earthquake. Ergo "beastquake".
I don't know if trying to troll here would be wise. That would end badly for you sir.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:00 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irocdave View Post
Wow. Not sure if I should try and answer your obvious reverse troll questions or just troll you. We Hawk fans didn't officially name Lynch's running style "beast mode", he did. Yea, it seems childish until you watch him run. He doesn't go down when hit or when a couple of 300+ pound lineman pile on his back. He keeps moving forward and stays upright until the O line can push the pile another 2 - 10 yards. Lynch also has a propensity to run over D lineman, linebackers, stiff arm D backs to the ground etc. Beastquake was legit. He ran over several Aints players and the fan reaction caused seismometer readings in the sludge under the HAwks stadium to register and earthquake. Ergo "beastquake".
YEAH HE'S REALLY GOOD AT THAT SHIT. LIKE A BEAST KNOW WUT IM SAYIN N WHEN HE DOES THAT TO DEFENSES HE'S ALL LIKE IN BEAST MODE ABOUT IT YOU DIG
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