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Old 10-24-2006, 10:43 AM  
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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Guys: Please, Return Your "Specimen" Cup

Three years ago, after the birth of our fourth child...I got a vasectomy. Since our fourth child was conceived while my wife was on birth control, our pediatrician recommended that both my wife and I get "fixed" to avoid any more 'surprises.' So, in addition to my getting "snipped," my wife had her tubes tied. We were "done."

Well, to make a long story short...the vasectomy was an "out-patient" procedure at my GP's office. He sent a "specimen cup" home with me, that he said I should bring back "in a few weeks" to ensure the vasectomy "took." Well, I was uncomfortable with that whole idea....and figured, "well, my wife got fixed too, so I'll just skip that." (Well, by now...you can probably tell where this is going...)

Anyway, I got home from the Charger-Chiefs weekend about midnight on Sunday, and crawled into bed. My wife was still awake, and after a bit small talk I turned over to go to sleep for the night. After a minute or two of silence, my wife out-of-nowhere says, "so, do you love me?" I respond, "Of course, I do." And, I'm thinking...."wow, she must've missed me, and is feeling a little frisky." Then she says, "How much do you love me?" And I'm thinking, "heh-heh."

That's when she uttered the words. THE words:

"I'm pregnant."

So, I'm thinking "No way. That's impossible"....I think she was just setting me up for something less shocking, like "I wrecked the van," or "Chris broke his leg," or "Oreo (one of our dogs) chewed your leather Chief's jacket."

So, I literally laugh out loud, and say "Yeah, right. You should try something a little more believable. I mean, I'm fixed...you're fixed. You are on the pill (for hormonal purposes). No way I'm buying that. So what's up? Really, I mean."

She says, "No, I'm serious. I'm pregnant. You know how I've been exhausted, and not feeling well since August or so? And we just thought it was something hormonal? Well, I finally went into the doctor. I'm pregnant. I've heard the heartbeat. I'm 17 weeks."

After about a minute or two of stunned silence, I ask: "Are you sure?" She didn't dignify that with a response, nor my follow-up of: "So, who's is it?" (Suffice it to say, she's sure....and there is no way it's anyone else's.)



Needless to say....at age 43, with four kids ages 11, 7, 5 and 3...my preoccupation for the last 36 hours has been: "Why? Why me? Why us?"

Well, if any of you needed a lift....or were feeling a little bit sorry for yourselves, I hope I've made your day for you.

As for me, I'm thinking I ought to go buy a few lottery tickets.....



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Old 10-24-2006, 10:44 AM   #2
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Name him Jesus.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:48 AM   #3
Braincase Braincase is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
Name him Jesus.
Nah... name him "Zeus". "Hey, Zeus" has the same effect.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:50 AM   #4
scott free scott free is offline
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If you both are fixed and she still got pregger's i would take it as a sign from God. Not saying i dont feel your pain but it seems meant to be
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:51 AM   #5
Phobia Phobia is offline
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How does your boyfriend feel about the situation?

Congratulations. That's an amazing story.
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:53 AM   #6
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:54 AM   #7
bkkcoh bkkcoh is offline
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One helluva swimmer........ Olympics are in your next child's future.....

Congrats, I think
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:54 AM   #8
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
welp
 
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Five! Five ****ing Kotters!
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Old 10-24-2006, 10:57 AM   #9
NewChief NewChief is offline
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Holy cow, Kotter.

Incredible story. I know that you're likely feeling pretty mixed emotions right now, but you'll make it through.
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the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
Psalm 127:3-5
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Old 10-24-2006, 11:01 AM   #10
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Congrats, Rob! You need to get a refund for your "getting fixed" operation(s).

You also need to switch to decaf, apparently.
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Old 10-24-2006, 11:01 AM   #11
Frosty Frosty is offline
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Tales like this always scare me.

If I may ask, Mr. Kotter, when you got "snipped", did they just clip the tubes or actually take a chunk out of them?
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Old 10-24-2006, 11:02 AM   #12
Darkwolfe Darkwolfe is offline
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Infreakincredible. Life's just chock full of surprises ain't it.
It's all good, and if it ain't, make it that way.
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Old 10-24-2006, 11:05 AM   #13
JBucc JBucc is offline
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Quick! Get to the abortion clinic!

Congratulations.
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Old 10-24-2006, 11:05 AM   #14
morphius morphius is offline
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Both of my Children have come to us while the wife was on some sort of birth control, so I know a bit how you feel (with half as many kids and a decade behind you).

But hey, the last little one can bring a smile to me faster then anything in the world.

Congrats!
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Old 10-24-2006, 11:09 AM   #15
JazzzLovr JazzzLovr is offline
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Wow, what a story. Congrats, Rob!

Yet another mini-Kotter to beat up on Cntrygal!

Please tell your wife congrats and best wishes also.

Tammie
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