Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-26-2008, 05:34 PM  
Count Alex's Wins Count Alex's Wins is offline
ALEX. HOW CAN THIS BE.
 
Count Alex's Wins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $33149
Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars

Hemied, that you?



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...,000-cars.html

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.
Posts: 171,061
Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:38 PM   #2
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
Black for Palestine
 
Direckshun's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Springpatch
Casino cash: $22351
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
__________________
Posts: 46,716
Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:39 PM   #3
Basileus777 Basileus777 is offline
MVP
 
Basileus777's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New Jersey
Casino cash: $5255
Where does he put it?
Posts: 8,417
Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.Basileus777 is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:40 PM   #4
blueballs Jr blueballs Jr is offline
Rookie
 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: blueballs crack house
Casino cash: $5000
My Father just can't stay out of the news.
Posts: 26
blueballs Jr is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.blueballs Jr is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:41 PM   #5
Smed1065 Smed1065 is offline
Supporter
 
Smed1065's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Returning From Hell
Casino cash: $5689
Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
That would be TMI!
Posts: 8,902
Smed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliSmed1065 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:41 PM   #6
milkman milkman is offline
Dumbass!
 
milkman's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Leading the Marty bashing
Casino cash: $11140
Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
I think we're all going to regret that you asked.
__________________
Posts: 64,831
milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:42 PM   #7
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
Gonzo = Sexy Bitch
 
Deberg_1990's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: San Antonio Tx.
Casino cash: $14465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basileus777 View Post
Where does he put it?
Tailpipe??
__________________
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
Posts: 50,730
Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:44 PM   #8
milkman milkman is offline
Dumbass!
 
milkman's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Leading the Marty bashing
Casino cash: $11140
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deberg_1990 View Post
Tailpipe??
Poke her in the rear.
__________________
Posts: 64,831
milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.milkman is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 05:45 PM   #9
Mr. Plow Mr. Plow is offline
Gonzo = Sexy Bitch
 
Mr. Plow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Mmmmmm....Forbidden Donut
Casino cash: $8991
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weird Car Sex Guy
He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.


"I swear officer, it needed lovin'."
Posts: 24,200
Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Plow is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 06:11 PM   #10
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
No known superpowers
 
Rain Man's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In A World Few See
Casino cash: $9008
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
Maybe Dodgie style? Or Model A-nal?

We can pretty much be sure that it's not by letting the car be on top.
__________________
Welcome to NFL Sunday! At 11:00 see Peyton Manning flip off the top rope and clothesline Clay Matthews! At 2:00 Drew Brees will hit Terrell Suggs with a chair! Buy your Andrew Luck jersey and let's get reeeeeady to rummmmmble!
Posts: 77,611
Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 06:12 PM   #11
Sully Sully is offline
It Goes On
 
Sully's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lees Summit
Casino cash: $10343
This guy is a huge fan of trannies.
__________________
"And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car."
- Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 13,986
Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 06:16 PM   #12
PastorMikH PastorMikH is offline
Will KC ever be better?
 
PastorMikH's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks
Casino cash: $5157
Eh, oddly enoughrecently, we were in a resturaunt waiting for a table and were looking through their gift shop. There was this little plaque with odd OK laws. One of which was in our very town it is illegal to molest an automobile. I saw that and told the wife and the friends we were with that it wouldn't be a law if someone hadn't done it.

__________________
Posts: 20,440
PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 06:24 PM   #13
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
No known superpowers
 
Rain Man's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In A World Few See
Casino cash: $9008
VARSITY
I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.
__________________
Welcome to NFL Sunday! At 11:00 see Peyton Manning flip off the top rope and clothesline Clay Matthews! At 2:00 Drew Brees will hit Terrell Suggs with a chair! Buy your Andrew Luck jersey and let's get reeeeeady to rummmmmble!
Posts: 77,611
Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 06:28 PM   #14
PastorMikH PastorMikH is offline
Will KC ever be better?
 
PastorMikH's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks
Casino cash: $5157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.




I wonder how many people here you'll have to explain that too.




I'll bet he takes bikes from around the downtown Denver area, loves them then leaves them wherever he is when he's through with them.
__________________
Posts: 20,440
PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.PastorMikH must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2008, 06:30 PM   #15
Count Alex's Wins Count Alex's Wins is offline
ALEX. HOW CAN THIS BE.
 
Count Alex's Wins's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $33149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.
No, I'd think it would be sex with those kiddie cars you get in the toy department.



Or perhaps matchbox cars.
__________________
Posts: 171,061
Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:38 AM.


This is a test for a client's site.
A new website that shows member-created construction site listings that need fill or have excess fill. Dirt Monkey @ https://DirtMonkey.net
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.