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Old 05-26-2008, 04:34 PM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars

Hemied, that you?



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...,000-cars.html

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:38 PM   #2
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:39 PM   #3
Basileus777 Basileus777 is offline
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:40 PM   #4
blueballs Jr blueballs Jr is offline
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:41 PM   #5
Smed1065 Smed1065 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
That would be TMI!
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:41 PM   #6
milkman milkman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
I think we're all going to regret that you asked.
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:42 PM   #7
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Where does he put it?
Tailpipe??
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:44 PM   #8
milkman milkman is offline
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Originally Posted by Deberg_1990 View Post
Tailpipe??
Poke her in the rear.
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:45 PM   #9
Mr. Plow Mr. Plow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weird Car Sex Guy
He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.


"I swear officer, it needed lovin'."
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:11 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?
Maybe Dodgie style? Or Model A-nal?

We can pretty much be sure that it's not by letting the car be on top.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:12 PM   #11
Sully Sully is offline
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This guy is a huge fan of trannies.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:16 PM   #12
PastorMikH PastorMikH is offline
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Eh, oddly enoughrecently, we were in a resturaunt waiting for a table and were looking through their gift shop. There was this little plaque with odd OK laws. One of which was in our very town it is illegal to molest an automobile. I saw that and told the wife and the friends we were with that it wouldn't be a law if someone hadn't done it.

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Old 05-26-2008, 05:24 PM   #13
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I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:28 PM   #14
PastorMikH PastorMikH is offline
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.




I wonder how many people here you'll have to explain that too.




I'll bet he takes bikes from around the downtown Denver area, loves them then leaves them wherever he is when he's through with them.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:30 PM   #15
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.
No, I'd think it would be sex with those kiddie cars you get in the toy department.



Or perhaps matchbox cars.
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