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Old 07-25-2008, 01:00 AM  
Silock Silock is offline
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My wife just slugged me across the face

... and I totally deserved it.

I was in the other room on the computer and my wife had already gone to bed. All of a sudden, I hear her scream. I jump up and run in the room to see what was going on. The dog was freaking out, the cats had scattered, the covers were completely thrown off the bed and she's standing near the light switch just staring at the bed. Apparently, she'd had some sort of nightmare and thought she saw something. I helped her put the covers back on the bed and she goes back to sleep.

You can probably see where this is going already. I wait for her to fall back asleep and go to the closet and grab a flashlight and a gorilla mask. I sneak back into the room and turn on the flashlight (underneath my face) and yell "AAAAARGH!!!!" She screams once again, freaks out and slugs me right across the face

She was not amused, but I was laughing my ass off anyway. She eventually started laughing, and has since gone back to sleep. She did lock the bedroom door, though, so I'm sleeping on the couch.

It was totally worth it.
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:04 AM   #2
JuicesFlowing JuicesFlowing is offline
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The fact that you have a gorilla mask is pretty great. Next time try the full gorilla suit ... that would really scare the bejeezus out of her.
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:13 AM   #3
big nasty kcnut big nasty kcnut is offline
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That messed up. You better protect your manhood.
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:30 AM   #4
FAX FAX is offline
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Awesome, Mr. Silock.

Next time, try the bloody knife trick. Do the exact same thing, but instead of a gorilla mask and a flashlight, just walk into the room with a large kitchen knife or meat cleaver covered with ketchup. Good times.

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Old 07-25-2008, 01:34 AM   #5
Kraus Kraus is offline
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Awesome. I'm glad I'm not the only one that tries to scare the hell out of my girl just for laughs.
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:44 AM   #6
FAX FAX is offline
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I have an idea. Since she's locked you out of the bedroom, you can combine The Bloody Knife Trick with the ol' Door Bust Down! She'll love you for it.

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Last edited by FAX; 07-25-2008 at 01:50 AM..
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:11 AM   #7
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Next time be naked except for the gorilla mask.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:23 AM   #8
POND_OF_RED POND_OF_RED is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Awesome, Mr. Silock.

Next time, try the bloody knife trick. Do the exact same thing, but instead of a gorilla mask and a flashlight, just walk into the room with a large kitchen knife or meat cleaver covered with ketchup. Good times.

FAX
John Bobbitt would like to take this time to remind us all that kitchen utensils are for kitchen use only.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:49 AM   #9
Programmer Programmer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SEA_OF_RED View Post
John Bobbitt would like to take this time to remind us all that kitchen utensils are for kitchen use only.
You did hear the story about Lorena's sister? She figured if her sis could do it so could she.

One night after her old man had gone to bed she took the knife and headed for his necessary man parts. At the last minute he saw the knife and moved, but not far enough. She cut his leg badly. He knocked the shit out of her and held her down, dialed the police and attempted to stop the bleeding.

The police arrived along with the ambulance. She went to the police station he went to the emergency room.

After treatment he went to press charges. The police told him that she had been released. They studied the available laws and found that they could only charge her with a "mistaweiner".






I'll be going to stand in the corner now.
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Old 07-25-2008, 05:46 AM   #10
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Old 07-25-2008, 05:50 AM   #11
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:33 AM   #12
PhillyChiefFan PhillyChiefFan is offline
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That's ****ed up! But hilarious...you are right, totally worth a night on the couch.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:47 AM   #13
Archie F. Swin Archie F. Swin is offline
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my wife would have waited until I fell asleep...and smothered me with a pillow.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:59 AM   #14
biggunns biggunns is offline
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Funny as hell!!!
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:22 AM   #15
Lzen Lzen is offline
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Wow. Some people have a strange idea of foreplay.
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