Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Hall of Classics

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-26-2009, 12:59 PM  
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
Stroking to Andy's Man Boobs
 
ChiTown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Flatlands of Kansas
Casino cash: $17139
UHHHH. Ok

So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like.

Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background

Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me.

ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that".

Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me)

Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up)

That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird.

A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's

B. Chick = Owner of the Salon

C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before

D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair

E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday

Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........
Posts: 16,831
ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:05 PM   #121
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
Cake Boss!!
 
Baby Lee's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 456 Lick My Butthole Lane
Casino cash: $139861
Chitown's maxim, if life gives you lemons, the citric acid will somehow melt your entire house.
__________________
I've got a real red wagon!!
Posts: 40,898
Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:05 PM   #122
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
No known superpowers
 
Rain Man's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In A World Few See
Casino cash: $62712195
Oh, and when you explain it to your wife, remember this: you saw the action at 9:00 this morning, and she came down as soon as she got dressed. Then don't ever let your wife visit Chiefsplanet.
__________________
In the final seven games of the 2013 season, the Chiefs averaged 34.6 points per game, scored 38 points or more 4 times, and went 2-5. The NFL has ruined the sport.
Posts: 75,788
Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:05 PM   #123
88TG88 88TG88 is offline
don't tell me about collage
 
88TG88's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Los Angeles
Casino cash: $643228


Good shit man, did you really tell her she had a nice ass ?

oh and sorry about the marriage thing
Posts: 5,980
88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:05 PM   #124
HemiEd HemiEd is offline
Hummingbird watcher
 
HemiEd's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ozarks
Casino cash: $7245977
Damn Chi, you can't make that shit up. Wow, you need to get better at hiding shit from your wife, and lie more. Best of luck with this, damn.
__________________
Chiefnj2: "Sure it's hard to do, that's why you need an elite QB. Just like its hard to lead your team to a victory from a 4 score deficit. Some guys can do it, others get traded to the Chiefs."
Posts: 24,425
HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.HemiEd has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:06 PM   #125
88TG88 88TG88 is offline
don't tell me about collage
 
88TG88's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Los Angeles
Casino cash: $643228
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud View Post
Mistake #1.

I've said here before and I'll say it again: Hairdressers are nearly synonymous with strippers. I've even known hairdressers that strip on amateur nights.
hmmmm

I'm gonna need names, numbers and pictures for verification.
Posts: 5,980
88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.88TG88 is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:08 PM   #126
burt burt is offline
Inner Circle, Master at Arms
 
burt's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Casino cash: $4203709
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown View Post
OK, with the excitement of today, I sort of forgot that my wife was coming by my office around 9:30 so we could go to my son's classroom play together. F*&^! Chick sees wife - wife sees chick who has been crying - chick scurries out of office. This isn't going to end well, and my penis never even got out of my pants.

Chi - "Hey"

Wife - "........................."

Chi - "you ready to go?"

Wife - (looking for blunt object in my office to beat me with) "NO! WTF was that?"

Ok, at this point, I can't decide whether it would just be easier to lie and to say it was me in the barber chair, or to tell the truth while she's calls me a liar. Seriously, what woman is going to believe this shit.

Chi - "We're going to be late"

Wife - "**** You! What was that all about?"

Normally, I get turned on when my wife talks dirty, but somehow, my penis was going inverted at this point.

Chi - (blurting out the truth) "She gave a BJ to some guy in her barber chair and I watched.................." ****! Not watched you dumbass, SAW!

Wife - "You watched!" (Tears)

OK, at this point, I'm pretty sure my son will be without one or both parents at his class play. All b/c his Dad didn't get a blow job, but bore witness to one.

Chi - "SAW, not watched, SAW!"

Wife - (Cussing and crying - all very inaudible)

Chi - "Well, we need to go if we're going to........"

Wife - "BS, I can't believe you are cheating on me with a stripper"

This really sucks, ya know. First of all, she's a beauty technician, not a stripper - so I was a little offended by that. 2ndly, I NEVER FKG CHEATED, GAWDAMNIT! Nevertheless, my marriage of 15+ years, is about to go down in flames in less than 15 minutes. Short of a Nuclear Holocaust blowing through Wichita, I thought this whole sequence was going rather well....

Chi - "She cuts my hair - THAT's all"

Wife - (she's now on her cell phone - I had no idea she had our lawyer on speed dial)

Chi - "Hun?"

Wife -"I don't want to be around you. I'm going to the play, and would prefer if you didn't go" (office door slams shut)

Swellsville. **** it. I have half of a mind to go up to Chick's shop and get the BJ that my wife thinks I have already received. At least I wouldn't be lying in her eyes at that point.

Chi - (phoning the hair salon) "yeah, I need to cancel my appointment for today"

Phone Hooker (IQ of 3) - Would you like to reschedule, Mr. ChiTown?



Chi - "No. Not until that marriage wrecking, cock sucker leaves your salon"

Phone Hooker - "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh", I don't understand (click)
Until now I didn't realize that Mrs. T.B.A. had a sister......
Posts: 8,920
burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:10 PM   #127
Thig Lyfe Thig Lyfe is offline
Banned
 
Thig Lyfe's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Thigpen's America
Casino cash: $539387
Dayum.
Posts: 25,677
Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:15 PM   #128
burt burt is offline
Inner Circle, Master at Arms
 
burt's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Casino cash: $4203709
Chi, I need help dealing with your sister in law...Mrs. T.B.A.....tell me how you plan to deal with YOUR predicament. I will make it fit my current criteria.
Posts: 8,920
burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:17 PM   #129
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
Stroking to Andy's Man Boobs
 
ChiTown's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Flatlands of Kansas
Casino cash: $17139
Quote:
Originally Posted by T.B.A. View Post
Chi, I need help dealing with your sister in law...Mrs. T.B.A.....tell me how you plan to deal with YOUR predicament. I will make it fit my current criteria.
Do yourself a favor - shoot yourself in the face. STAT!
__________________
Posts: 16,831
ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.ChiTown has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:20 PM   #130
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
Band
 
DaneMcCloud's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The 'Wood
Casino cash: $10138218
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown View Post
Do yourself a favor - shoot yourself in the face. STAT!
Good luck, Dude.

If I told my wife that I walked in on my hairdresser giving some dude a blowjob, she's say "Alright."

And that would be the end of it.
Posts: 48,886
DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:21 PM   #131
burt burt is offline
Inner Circle, Master at Arms
 
burt's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Casino cash: $4203709
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown View Post
Do yourself a favor - shoot yourself in the face. STAT!
On our 14th anniversary, I told her..."Being married to you has been the best 12 years of my life....the other 2 have sucked....you know a couple of shitty months here, a couple there...." She was NOT amused.

Yeah, you're right, shoulda shot myself in the face.

Boys, if you're not married, remember Marriage is like drugs.

































JUST SAY NO!!!!
Posts: 8,920
burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:22 PM   #132
burt burt is offline
Inner Circle, Master at Arms
 
burt's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Casino cash: $4203709
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud View Post
Good luck, Dude.

If I told my wife that I walked in on my hairdresser giving some dude a blowjob, she's say "Alright."

And that would be the end of it.
Actually, mine too.....just before she punted my testicles. Her philosophy is: If I may have done debauchery....I did.
Posts: 8,920
burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:26 PM   #133
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
Band
 
DaneMcCloud's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The 'Wood
Casino cash: $10138218
Quote:
Originally Posted by T.B.A. View Post
Actually, mine too.....just before she punted my testicles. Her philosophy is: If I may have done debauchery....I did.
Ouch
Posts: 48,886
DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:44 PM   #134
burt burt is offline
Inner Circle, Master at Arms
 
burt's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Casino cash: $4203709
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud View Post
Ouch
It's not my fault that I am this goddamn good looking.....
Posts: 8,920
burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.burt is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 04:45 PM   #135
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
Band
 
DaneMcCloud's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The 'Wood
Casino cash: $10138218
Quote:
Originally Posted by T.B.A. View Post
It's not my fault that I am this goddamn good looking.....
It's a curse
Posts: 48,886
DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.DaneMcCloud is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.