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Old 09-17-2001, 11:07 AM  
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Brush with the Famous, Part II

Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years.

Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt.

Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common.

Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole.

This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that?

Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again.

Unbelievable.

(And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...)
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:25 PM   #46
BigOlChiefsfan BigOlChiefsfan is offline
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My favorite was Karate Class. Kata practice, a roomful of teenagers kicking and punching the air in unison, sensei walking back and forth and watching 'em.

"EeeeeYAH"
"EeeeeYAH"
"EeeeeYAH"
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAATPFPFPFFT

Silence. Then Sensei said "Someone is ah...working much too hard"
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:26 PM   #47
seclark seclark is offline
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my sister in law let one rip one time in a burger king in omaha. you could hear that bad-boy 35feet away. and she looked real innocent and says to everybody around, "oooh...excuse me!".
have you ever heard anything so crazy?
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:30 PM   #48
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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Did anyone see the Jacka$$ when Johnny Knoxville went into a yoga class with some kind of fart noise machine?
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Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:32 PM   #49
Vindicator Vindicator is offline
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Vindicator lives near Pahrump, Nv....................upwind, thanks
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:32 PM   #50
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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The Mrs. frequently refers to Smitty as a fart noise (and stink) machine.
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KS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:35 PM   #51
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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Mrs Smitty Here!!!

What I call him is a stinking a$$hole. (j/k)
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KS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliKS Smitty 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:41 PM   #52
Hydrae Hydrae is offline
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Instead of the famous farting how about a man who became famous for farting on stage? I don't know how many of you have ever heard of Le Petomane but here is a link. I originally found out about this reading one of the Uncle John's Bathroom Readers. If you are unfamiliar with these books, you should look for them the next time you are at the bookstore, they are great for just that...reading while sitting and taking care of personal business!


http://www.retroactive.com/jan98/petomane.html
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Old 09-17-2001, 05:19 PM   #53
Joe Seahawk Joe Seahawk is offline
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Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Joe Seahawk Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 09-17-2001, 05:39 PM   #54
WarCry! WarCry! is offline
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Here's an old college fart story:
We were in chemistry class one day (the prof was a little bit hard of hearing and had a hearing aid). The prof was facing the chalkboard writing down some notes when a classmate ripped a loud one off the wooden desk chair. The class erupted into laughter when the prof turned around as serious as could be and asked "did somebody have a question?" LOL
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Old 09-17-2001, 06:50 PM   #55
Multi1 Multi1 is offline
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Some people believe that a Chief can break wind on command, Joe Montana may have proved that. I can't talk about Ross.

Bob - You may just want to stay out of the john! Have you tried the back tire of a Raider fan?
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Old 09-17-2001, 06:57 PM   #56
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Okay, you asked for it. Here is my greatest fart story.

I was at the movies with my former wife and a Navy buddy. We were watching Clint Eastwood's Heartbreak Ridge. This is a military movie, and as we were in Norfolk, the theater was packed.

Anyway, I cut the most vile, noxious, deadly green fog fart in the history of the universe right in the middle of the theater. It was a silent killer, though. I waited about five seconds, then stood up, looked at my wife and exclaimed "G#DDAMN!" and then moved to another seat. And my buddy moved with me.

She didn't speak to me for three days....
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Old 09-17-2001, 07:27 PM   #57
BigOlChiefsfan BigOlChiefsfan is offline
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I just hope Bob Dole never meets the current president of Russia in a men's room. I can see Bob Dole's tale now.

"Tootin' with Putin".
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Old 09-17-2001, 08:21 PM   #58
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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I'm incredibly embarrassed and ashamed that I'm laughing at this stuff.
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Old 03-04-2003, 02:06 PM   #59
CHIEF4EVER CHIEF4EVER is offline
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Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'll share a story (albeit a bit late).

When I was stationed in Berlin, we had an annual NCO call at the NCO club and the Commanding General was the guest speaker. All the NCOs were seated in a U shape facing the middle and my best friend Jerry was seated next to me. Jerry had a habit of being a bit of a prankster when drinking and by the time the colors were brought in he was 2 sheets to the wind. At the announcement of the General the command "Present Arms" was given. In response to the command we all snapped off a sharp salute and Jerry simultaneously snapped off the positively loudest butt explosion I think I have ever heard. The funniest part was that nobody dared smile or even smirk although the natural reaction was to belly laugh. The SGT Major and General never missed a beat although the SGT Major was eying the assembled NCOs trying to discover the offender. After NCO call Jerry and I laughed outside the club for at least a half hour.
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Old 03-04-2003, 02:08 PM   #60
HC_Chief HC_Chief is offline
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Should have turned in his direction and peed on the top of his crazy little munchkin head.
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