Chiefs Who is your favorite drafturbator?

Branden Albert's Huge Balls · 04-19-2010, 05:04 PM

With the NFL draft just a few days away, I thought I would take a moment to recognize Chiefsplanet's finest, the drafturbators.

Who are the drafturbators?

It's widely accepted that they include the following rogues:

Mecca
OnTheWarpath58
Hamas Jenkins
DaneMcCloud
DeezNutz

Over the years, and especially the last few months, we've learned a lot from the drafturbators. Mostly, we've learned that everyone now associated with the Chiefs and their drafting process sucks balls, until proven otherwise. If you remember, it was just one year ago that they tabbed Tyson Jackson and Matt Cassel as failures before they had even taken one snap as Chiefs. Not only did they hold to that for 8 months (and continue to do so), they did it with such ferocity that they left a path of destruction in their wake the likes of which Chiefsplanet has never seen before.

What's going on this year? If you've been living under a rock, the drafturbator credo holds this season that the Chiefs must select either Jimmy Clausen or Eric Berry with their first pick. Picking anyone else or trading down either results in total epic failure or some degree of disgruntled tolerance.

The difference this season is that there is a clear and logical course of action for the Chiefs at the fifth pick. Picking Berry or Clausen out from the rest of the pack isn't a hard decision. Last year the waters were far murkier, with no one really sure if the Chiefs should take Aaron Curry, trade down, or reach for a player.

The end result is that if the Chiefs don't take Berry or Clausen and do something stupid, like drafting an offensive tackle, we can probably expect an even MORE severe backlash from the drafturbators Thursday night! The Tyson Jackson reaction could end up looking like a minor spat in comparison.

History could be made!

So let's sit back and take a moment to recognize what the drafturbators do for Chiefsplanet. This Thursday they take the stage in primetime! Who's your favorite?

Ebolapox · 04-19-2010, 05:10 PM

eh, none of them have yet perfected the 'dead hand' technique of drafturbating. none of the above.

MahiMike · 04-19-2010, 05:10 PM

GoChiefs has an LT sized boner for these guys that like to throw their weight around. I think I have everyone of them on my ignore list.

**DeezNutz** · 04-19-2010, 05:12 PM

Mecca · 04-19-2010, 05:12 PM

MahiMike has us all ignored....that now explains why his posts are filled with rampant stupidity.

I also wonder if I should vote for myself, I mean I shouldn't like myself to much right?

**Gonzo** · 04-19-2010, 05:12 PM

Hamas is by far my favorite. The way he articulates the yearly draft douchebaggery is epic.
Posted via Mobile Device

big nasty kcnut · 04-19-2010, 05:12 PM

Dane pretty cool but he need to give me some hollywood dirt soon.

Ebolapox · 04-19-2010, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca

MahiMike has us all ignored....that now explains why his posts are filled with rampant stupidity.

I also wonder if I should vote for myself, I mean I shouldn't like myself to much right?

that's why you didn't get my vote: to/too/two.

RustShack · 04-19-2010, 05:13 PM

RustShack

Mecca · 04-19-2010, 05:14 PM

There's to many variations of the word to, but it could be worse, at least I don't type like that Eric guy.

Pawnmower · 04-19-2010, 05:14 PM

ITT: The line has been crossed from man-crush to pillowbitergotry

Delano · 04-19-2010, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustShack

RustShack

Douchebags can't be drafturbators. That's why you and voyager are not on the list.

JASONSAUTO · 04-19-2010, 05:16 PM

where is the multiple choice option? i like deez dane and hamas just fine

Branden Albert's Huge Balls · 04-19-2010, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MahiMike

GoChiefs has an LT sized boner for these guys that like to throw their weight around. I think I have everyone of them on my ignore list.

I've had my battles with the drafturbators. Most notable Dane and Mecca.

Mr. Laz · 04-19-2010, 05:19 PM

so on one hand Gochiefs talks shit about the draftubators and on the other he labels "true fan" along with all the newly invented labels that go along with it.

where is the "let's all gang up on gochiefs" option?

View Poll Results: Who is your favorite drafturbator?
Mecca	17	17.00%
OnTheWarpath58	12	12.00%
Hamas Jenkins	24	24.00%
DaneMcCloud	12	12.00%
DeezNutz	11	11.00%
I don't like any of these vile, caustic bastards (true fan option)	24	24.00%
Voters: 100. You may not vote on this poll

04-19-2010, 05:04 PM
Branden Albert's Huge Balls ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: In the Soup Nazis Kitchen Casino cash: $151673	Who is your favorite drafturbator? With the NFL draft just a few days away, I thought I would take a moment to recognize Chiefsplanet's finest, the drafturbators. Who are the drafturbators? It's widely accepted that they include the following rogues: Mecca OnTheWarpath58 Hamas Jenkins DaneMcCloud DeezNutz Over the years, and especially the last few months, we've learned a lot from the drafturbators. Mostly, we've learned that everyone now associated with the Chiefs and their drafting process sucks balls, until proven otherwise. If you remember, it was just one year ago that they tabbed Tyson Jackson and Matt Cassel as failures before they had even taken one snap as Chiefs. Not only did they hold to that for 8 months (and continue to do so), they did it with such ferocity that they left a path of destruction in their wake the likes of which Chiefsplanet has never seen before. What's going on this year? If you've been living under a rock, the drafturbator credo holds this season that the Chiefs must select either Jimmy Clausen or Eric Berry with their first pick. Picking anyone else or trading down either results in total epic failure or some degree of disgruntled tolerance. The difference this season is that there is a clear and logical course of action for the Chiefs at the fifth pick. Picking Berry or Clausen out from the rest of the pack isn't a hard decision. Last year the waters were far murkier, with no one really sure if the Chiefs should take Aaron Curry, trade down, or reach for a player. The end result is that if the Chiefs don't take Berry or Clausen and do something stupid, like drafting an offensive tackle, we can probably expect an even MORE severe backlash from the drafturbators Thursday night! The Tyson Jackson reaction could end up looking like a minor spat in comparison. History could be made! So let's sit back and take a moment to recognize what the drafturbators do for Chiefsplanet. This Thursday they take the stage in primetime! Who's your favorite?
Posts: 150,210

04-19-2010, 05:10 PM	#2
Ebolapox remember, remember Join Date: Jul 2002 Casino cash: $18671447	eh, none of them have yet perfected the 'dead hand' technique of drafturbating. none of the above.
Posts: 24,665

04-19-2010, 05:10 PM	#3
MahiMike Good Luck Andy! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Jax, FL Casino cash: $60382	GoChiefs has an LT sized boner for these guys that like to throw their weight around. I think I have everyone of them on my ignore list. __________________ Relax. We'll re-sign Bowe and Albert then draft Milliner. We'll be top 10 in offense and defense...someday.
Posts: 6,579

04-19-2010, 05:12 PM	#5
Mecca Hockey Town Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Casino cash: $114624	MahiMike has us all ignored....that now explains why his posts are filled with rampant stupidity. I also wonder if I should vote for myself, I mean I shouldn't like myself to much right?
Posts: 79,925

04-19-2010, 05:12 PM	#6
Gonzo The Turtle Can't Help Us. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: F'ing Huskerville Casino cash: $108269901	Hamas is by far my favorite. The way he articulates the yearly draft douchebaggery is epic. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 16,503

04-19-2010, 05:12 PM	#7
big nasty kcnut Hey wanna fight! Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: wichita kansas u.s.a. Casino cash: $1020930	Dane pretty cool but he need to give me some hollywood dirt soon. __________________ I'm the renegade of funk Go kansas city. Our coach hate you. adopt a chiefs Ryan Succop
Posts: 11,926

04-19-2010, 05:13 PM	#9
RustShack **** That Noise Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Jack Trice Casino cash: $86950	RustShack __________________ Follow this guy on Twitter @Daddy_Rusty
Posts: 11,769

04-19-2010, 05:14 PM	#10
Mecca Hockey Town Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Casino cash: $114624	There's to many variations of the word to, but it could be worse, at least I don't type like that Eric guy.
Posts: 79,925

04-19-2010, 05:14 PM	#11
Pawnmower MVP Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Northern California Casino cash: $6224124	ITT: The line has been crossed from man-crush to pillowbitergotry
Posts: 11,760

04-19-2010, 05:16 PM	#13
JASONSAUTO Thigpen for HOF Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: mid missouri Casino cash: $1338945	where is the multiple choice option? i like deez dane and hamas just fine
Posts: 21,759

04-19-2010, 05:19 PM	#15
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $392815	so on one hand Gochiefs talks shit about the draftubators and on the other he labels "true fan" along with all the newly invented labels that go along with it. where is the "let's all gang up on gochiefs" option?
Posts: 73,888

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