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Old 05-12-2010, 11:04 PM  
FAX FAX is offline
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The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

I learned earlier this evening that one of my best friends (we've known each other since high school) committed suicide Monday. I can't help but kick myself for not reaching out to him more. He was extremely close to my mother who passed at Christmastime. On top of that, his "wife" has been spending time away from the home for weeks on end ... a divorce was eminent. He lives (lived) in a small town and has probably felt extremely isolated. I should have done more.

I want to encourage each and every one of you to reach out to those around you ... especially those who are going through difficult times. Life is both short and sometimes hard ... and it's harder on some than others. Sometimes, like my friend, people have a facade you can't see through. A word of encouragement, a sincere hand of friendship, an expression of love ... these cost nothing but can have great value to those you care for.

FAX
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:07 PM   #2
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Sorry for your loss Fax.
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:10 PM   #3
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Sorry for your loss Fax.
Thanks, but I'm pissed off more than anything, Mr. pr_capone. Pissed at his asswipe of a "wife" who has treated him like dirt for years. Pissed that I didn't do more. Pissed that I didn't do a better job of recognizing the signs and reach out. Pissed that the world can hold so much pain and despair and loneliness.

FAX
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:10 PM   #4
Jenson71 Jenson71 is offline
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My sympathies and empathies, FAX.

My dad's family is still going through the fall-out of a suicide that occurred this past Thanksgiving week (my uncle). Not much rips a family up more, in my short-list of experiences. The unanswered questions, and all.

I actually talked to him over the phone about 4 days before he hanged himself. When I talked to him on the phone, I usually would mention something about playing chess next time we met, or something sports-related. But I was feeling sick and didn't talk at all that time, and my voice was probably sounding like death, itself. That was it.

Last edited by Jenson71; 05-12-2010 at 11:16 PM..
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:12 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
I learned earlier this evening that one of my best friends (we've known each other since high school) committed suicide Monday. I can't help but kick myself for not reaching out to him more. He was extremely close to my mother who passed at Christmastime. On top of that, his "wife" has been spending time away from the home for weeks on end ... a divorce was eminent. He lives (lived) in a small town and has probably felt extremely isolated. I should have done more.

I want to encourage each and every one of you to reach out to those around you ... especially those who are going through difficult times. Life is both short and sometimes hard ... and it's harder on some than others. Sometimes, like my friend, people have a facade you can't see through. A word of encouragement, a sincere hand of friendship, an expression of love ... these cost nothing but can have great value to those you care for.

FAX
Don't beat yourself up. I think when something like this happens men wonder if we should have done more or drawn closer. Thing is, that's just not the way most of us are made.

You've always seemed to be one of the good guys, Mr. FAX. I'm sorry.
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:13 PM   #6
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Sucks FAX, but this was the road he chose to go down. Nothing you could really have done. We all have our shit that we deal with, and we can blame ourselves, but really no need.

What would Joseph Campbell say in a time like this?
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:14 PM   #7
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Sorry to hear that dude.
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:15 PM   #8
ClevelandBronco ClevelandBronco is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Thanks, but I'm pissed off more than anything, Mr. pr_capone. Pissed at his asswipe of a "wife" who has treated him like dirt for years. Pissed that I didn't do more. Pissed that I didn't do a better job of recognizing the signs and reach out. Pissed that the world can hold so much pain and despair and loneliness.

FAX
You didn't say that you're pissed at him.
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:22 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco View Post
You didn't say that you're pissed at him.
Normally, I would be, Mr. ClevelandBronco. I've always viewed suicide as a very selfish act. For some reason, in this case, I'm not angry with him. Disappointed, but not angry.

Probably because I know how lonely he must have been. For him to do this, things must have been very bad, indeed. Torturous.

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Old 05-12-2010, 11:25 PM   #10
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Damn.

I don't know.

Learn. Love more.

Expect it to hurt like hell sometimes.

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Old 05-12-2010, 11:27 PM   #11
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Fax your a great friend. Sometime we try to do everything but can't know that when you were around your friend he felt happy and that one day you and your friend will reunite and be happy.
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:37 PM   #12
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Thats..terrible. I'm very sorry to hear it FAX.
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:48 PM   #13
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I went through something similar about 17 yrs ago. One of my friends that I grew up with couldn't get his shit together and was in trouble a lot, so I started blowing him off and avoiding him as much as possible. He had gotten married young and it wasn't working out, but the difference in this case was he went to the convenience store his wife worked at and dragged her into the parking lot and shot her before he killed himself. I've often wondered if instead of blowing him off I should've tried to be a positive influence to him. Or maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. Who knows.

Nevertheless, I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-13-2010, 12:20 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco View Post
Don't beat yourself up. I think when something like this happens men wonder if we should have done more or drawn closer. Thing is, that's just not the way most of us are made.

You've always seemed to be one of the good guys, Mr. FAX. I'm sorry.
This is part of what I said in the rep message I left. Pretty damn close.

...

Much love man. I'm sure you usually take things on your shoulders commonly and it is obviously part of your makeup but sometimes things just happen no matter how much we don't want them to or feel we could have changed them. How you are turning this into something to learn from for not just you, but taking the opportunity to spread that goodwill to everyone else is a special quality that isn't found as much as I hope it would in this world.

This would be a much better world if we were all a little more like that.
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Old 05-13-2010, 12:29 AM   #15
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