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Old 06-03-2010, 09:35 PM  
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Academy Awards for Everyday People Performances...

I'm going through one of my old stand-up comedy journals...

Lots of teh unfunnay in here... but one idea, that I never fully developed is Oscars for everyday people in real life.

Like...

Calling into work sick.

Talking yourself out of a ticket...

Pulling some ass...


What other things might be funny to give out an award for?
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:41 PM   #2
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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My sister told me she never got a speeding ticket because she'd tell the unfortunate officer who pulled her over that she had a "bad case of the diarrhea." I didn't believe her until one day we were out and she was driving her car. We were headed back to the house and she was speeding. She was pulled over and immediately went into this act like she was really sick. I'd forgotten about her diarrhea story and asked her what was wrong. When the officer came to the window, she pulled an Oscar-winning performance and told the officer of course that she had a "bad case of the diarrhea." The officer just waved her on and didn't say a thing.
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:47 PM   #3
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Hahah...

I once got pulled over driving from Butler Mo, to Harrisonville on a Sunday evening, because the Pizza Hut I worked out, was out of cheese, and the "church crowd" was due in, any minute.

So, my coworker and I headed to Harrisonville in my 1976 Firebird... driving over 100mph the whole way with hazards on.

We got there in 16 minutes... and H'ville is about 30 miles away... so, we get back in the car... was at H'Ville Pizza Hut for 5 minutes.... turn hazards back on....

commence to speeding and get pulled over going 107 miles an hour in a 55 zone.

Well, the cop that pulled me over, luckily came into the pizza hut frequently due to the 75% discount they got.

I told them about being out of cheese for the church crowd and gave him a song and dance...

He said... "Well, son... lack of cheese doesn't constitute an emergency... but... follow me"

He became my high-speed lead blocker and we drove fast as shit to Pizza Hut. Total time 39 minutes.

lol. To this day, it cracks me up. My boss was literally amazed at how fast we got back, and so we gave the cop 2 free pizza coupons. lol
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Old 06-03-2010, 11:31 PM   #4
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-03-2010, 11:32 PM   #5
Thig Lyfe Thig Lyfe is offline
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Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.Thig Lyfe threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 06-03-2010, 11:34 PM   #6
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:14 AM   #7
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:20 AM   #8
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:20 AM   #9
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:25 AM   #10
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:27 AM   #11
nychief nychief is offline
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don't quit your day jobs fellas.
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nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.nychief has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 06-04-2010, 11:06 AM   #12
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Old 06-04-2010, 11:21 AM   #13
stumppy stumppy is offline
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My old boss should have recieved one for his performance in ' I've cut my two best salesmans commision because they were making too much money'.
I won't bore everyone with a complete review of it but the he nailed his Academy Award winning performance when he looked booth of us in the eye and said 'the cut in commision was an oppurtunity for us to make MORE money'.
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stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.stumppy has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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