Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-26-2011, 03:48 PM  
threebag02 threebag02 is offline
Snacks Are Under My Apron
 
threebag02's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Wichita, Kansas
Casino cash: $9543
NSFW Single Dude's Guide To Life and Travel

http://www.singledudetravel.com/

Don't forget to **** the fat ones!
By ¡Raul!

Yeah, I said it. Don’t forget to **** the fat ones! Sometimes in life you are presented with a situation in which you have a choice: Am I going to “lower” my standards and bang this heifer? Listen, I can’t tell you whether the answer is yes every time, but as long as the chick is under 200 pounds, has a nice face, good skin and not 5’2” with all of that weight, I say go for it. Why? Why the **** not?

The most common situation where this happens is when you are out with some buddies, you run into some chicks and one of them is overweight. This happens a lot. Skinny chicks like to hang with larger chicks to feel skinnier and larger chicks like to hang with skinny chicks to feel relevant. It also helps the larger chicks pull in some dick. A lot of times upon meeting a three top of chicks, you and your buddies have already talked about your personal targets. If I, ¡Raul!, am not into the boney chicks at the table, and the larger one is acceptable, I will claim her in a second. Why? I am a great teammate, I know I am going to get laid, and now I can party and get as ****ed up as I want because this fat chick is going to do everything she can to make it happen with me. Listen, these fat chicks don’t get a chance with ¡Raul! that very often. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for them. They jump on it like a tower of fried cheese covered in ranch dressing and bacon bits. After I have taken the fat one and probably made out with her very quickly, this automatically gives my boys a better shot at their tail.

“Wait, our fat friend is already getting some tongue from that hot Greek statue of a man? Well, she looks to be having a good time. I want that too!”

You are welcome teammates.

Now, ¡Raul!, “Isn’t it gross when you get their clothes off?”, you say. Not really. Hey, its just a roll here and a crevice there. But, most of the times there are going to be some good things too, like huge tits. If the chick has pretty good skin and is just a little large, she is going to look fine. Remember, you are probably drunk right now. If one position is not working for you, just resort to doggie. Pretty much any chick looks good doggie. It allows all the fat to shift forward and you to get your bone on. ¡Raul!’s personal secret is to carry around a small tin of flour. If you can’t find where to stick it, roll her in it and look for the wet spot. Booya.

Another thing to remember about these goddesses of gluttony is that fat can go to the lip area. This creates an amazing cushion for ¡Raul! to insert penis A into mouth B. If you have never received a blow job from a fat chick, you are missing out on life. It is truly one of life’s great things that must be experienced. Skinny chicks are not used to sticking things in their mouth. They do not eat. They don’t know what to do with it. But, those fat chicks? You ****ing guessed it right. They have been practicing for years with fudge pops, fried chicken, lamb kebobs, you name it. They know what it feels like with a something large in their mouth and they know what to do with it. A fat chick will suck your dick like the antidote is in it. Period.

The final thing that ¡Raul! loves about banging Large Marge is that you really can try anything you want. I repeat, ANYTHING. One thing I would not recommend unless you are as large and muscular as me is putting her on top. If you can handle the weight, she will love it. She probably has not experienced that in a while. But, I repeat, you need to be of bodybuilder size and strength to accomplish such a feat. Have fun with her. She is like your own overly-inflated blowup doll.

So, let’s recount the qualities of fat chicks:

1. Usually easy
2. Great blowjobs
3. You can do anything you want
4. Did I mention easy?
5. Can make you a good teammate

Dudes, think what you want about this, but you are missing out if you don’t try it with that chick who’s only questionable attribute is her plumpness. It will be fun, and if not, you can always extract yourself from the situation by running, because who cares, she is not going to be able to catch you. She is fat.

Charlie adds:

I feel like I need to dissent.* However ¡Raul! has a pretty watertight argument here.* One thing I like about this also is that ¡Raul! and I never fight over chicks when we go out!* He is indeed a good teammate.* On the rest of this this I will respectfully abstain from the discussion.

Boris adds:

¡Raul! is right. This reminds of a joke that’s funny because it’s true: “Why are fat chicks and mopeds the same? They’re both fun to ride until a friend sees you!”
Posts: 6,037
threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 03:49 PM   #2
threebag02 threebag02 is offline
Snacks Are Under My Apron
 
threebag02's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Wichita, Kansas
Casino cash: $9543
Do you have what it takes to be a good wingman?
__________________
Posts: 6,037
threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.threebag02 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 03:52 PM   #3
chiefsnorth chiefsnorth is offline
Veteran
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Casino cash: $5000
I have never understood this. Nailing some cow is not better than going home alone. Gross... IMO
Posts: 1,808
chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 03:53 PM   #4
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
Is winter over yet?
 
Sofa King's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Dakota
Casino cash: $7647
This is Pestilence's life guide right here. Except he looks specifically for the fat chicks.
Posts: 18,776
Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 03:54 PM   #5
Pants Pants is offline
Time Keeps On Slipping
 
Pants's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Overland Park
Casino cash: $6132
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiefsnorth View Post
I have never understood this. Nailing some cow is not better than going home alone. Gross... IMO
This.

DO NOT WANT.
__________________
ZootedGranny:

"That's the reason my FFL team name is TrentGreenLeadBlock. When you see this mother****er coming around the corner on a block, put your children to bed and batten down the hatch on your girl's snatch, because the same power that destroys defenders can scar the minds of the youth and simultaneously impregnate any woman within sight, live or on television."
Posts: 23,948
Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 04:05 PM   #6
Predarat Predarat is offline
Run Chiefs fans, run!!
 
Predarat's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Nashville, TN
Casino cash: $6111
Omaha where are you???
Posts: 9,115
Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.Predarat is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 04:28 PM   #7
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is online now
Count the checkdowns, too.
 
Count Alex's Losses's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $38197
Can't get hard around fat girls.
Posts: 171,943
Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 04:29 PM   #8
Fish Fish is offline
Missing Dick Curl
 
Fish's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $11085
Is the author alluding that all overweight women have the same attitudes and desires?

They are still women after all....
__________________
Posts: 26,214
Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 04:33 PM   #9
Donger Donger is offline
"Think BOOM!"
 
Donger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W
Casino cash: $356
VARSITY
The author left out the word "Ugly" in the title.
__________________
I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 78,176
Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 04:54 PM   #10
chiefsnorth chiefsnorth is offline
Veteran
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Casino cash: $5000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pants View Post
This.

DO NOT WANT.
Glad I am not alone.

So the bar is closing... why not go get some food, sleep in your own bed, not become the butt of jokes for months/years, maintain your standards/respect for yourself... Besides ... DO NOT WANT... As you put it.
Posts: 1,808
chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.chiefsnorth must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 05:08 PM   #11
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
MVP
 
mikey23545's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $10565
"A fat chick will suck your dick like the antidote is in it."


Posts: 12,246
mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.mikey23545 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 06:08 PM   #12
MahiMike MahiMike is offline
Alex > Kaepernick
 
MahiMike's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Jax, FL
Casino cash: $9011
Many a time I went the 'GUE' route (Go Ugly Early). It helped with DSB (Dreaded Semen Buildup).
__________________
Thank you Mr. Dorsey for signing Alex to a new deal. It's worth it just to piss GoChiefs off.
Posts: 8,683
MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.MahiMike Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 06:18 PM   #13
HoneyBadger HoneyBadger is offline
The chosen one
 
HoneyBadger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: OC, California
Casino cash: $8453
Close your eyes, and it feels the same.
Posts: 3,068
HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.HoneyBadger would the whole thing.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 06:24 PM   #14
Pants Pants is offline
Time Keeps On Slipping
 
Pants's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Overland Park
Casino cash: $6132
Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_lm View Post
Close your eyes, and it feels the same.
If I'm closing my eyes, I might as well just jackoff.
__________________
ZootedGranny:

"That's the reason my FFL team name is TrentGreenLeadBlock. When you see this mother****er coming around the corner on a block, put your children to bed and batten down the hatch on your girl's snatch, because the same power that destroys defenders can scar the minds of the youth and simultaneously impregnate any woman within sight, live or on television."
Posts: 23,948
Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Pants 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 06:28 PM   #15
Brock Brock is offline
Do it.
 
Brock's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Larryville
Casino cash: $5630
If the fat ones are okay, then why not the just plain old batshit ugly ones? Disagree entirely with all of that.
Posts: 42,791
Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.Brock is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:19 AM.


This is a test for a client's site.
A new website that shows member-created construction site listings that need fill or have excess fill. Dirt Monkey @ https://DirtMonkey.net
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.