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Old 10-12-2013, 02:05 PM  
alnorth alnorth is online now
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World's First Zombie Discovered in Ohio.

Living Man Told He Is Legally Dead By Court

Quote:
“I don’t know where that leaves you, but you’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned,” Judge Davis told Miller on Monday.
Quick summary:

Alcoholic dad abandons his family and goes missing. After a while, he's declared legally dead so the children can get social security benefits. 19 years later he comes back, goes to court, and wants to be declared alive.

He lost. After 3 years in Ohio, you can't change a declaration of death.
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:06 PM   #2
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Stupid thread title is stupid.
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:14 PM   #3
seamonster seamonster is offline
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Not the worlds first zombie...

Believe I did some kind of book report\research paper or something on zombies over twenty years ago. Haitians knock people out with a drug and when they come back to reality they're usually buried alive until the haitian voodoo which doctor digs them up, which point they've suffered brain damage and are basically pseudo farm slaves. Haitians called them "zonbies" in the 1700's - twentieth century... Probably the sketchiest shit every done to somebody in the history of man kind.
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:17 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alnorth View Post
Living Man Told He Is Legally Dead By Court



Quick summary:

Alcoholic dad abandons his family and goes missing. After a while, he's declared legally dead so the children can get social security benefits. 19 years later he comes back, goes to court, and wants to be declared alive.

He lost. After 3 years in Ohio, you can't change a declaration of death.
Okay.
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:19 PM   #5
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seamonster View Post
Not the worlds first zombie...

Believe I did some kind of book report\research paper or something on zombies over twenty years ago. Haitians knock people out with a drug and when they come back to reality they're usually buried alive until the haitian voodoo which doctor digs them up, which point they've suffered brain damage and are basically pseudo farm slaves. Haitians called them "zonbies" in the 1700's - twentieth century... Probably the sketchiest shit every done to somebody in the history of man kind.
which doctor ≠ witch doctor
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:22 PM   #6
Bowser Bowser is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alnorth View Post
Living Man Told He Is Legally Dead By Court



Quick summary:

Alcoholic dad abandons his family and goes missing. After a while, he's declared legally dead so the children can get social security benefits. 19 years later he comes back, goes to court, and wants to be declared alive.

He lost. After 3 years in Ohio, you can't change a declaration of death.
So does this guy get to live life carte blanche from here on out?

"I don't need to pay taxes. I'm dead."
"You can't take me to jail, I'm dead."
"How could I have banged your wife? I'm dead."
"I didn't steal those millions of dollars. I'm dead."
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:32 PM   #7
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser View Post
So does this guy get to live life carte blanche from here on out?

"I don't need to pay taxes. I'm dead."
"You can't take me to jail, I'm dead."
"How could I have banged your wife? I'm dead."
"I didn't steal those millions of dollars. I'm dead."
"You just banged me and I want to ruin your reputation -You necrophiliac! I'm dead!"
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:33 PM   #8
seamonster seamonster is offline
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Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy! View Post
which doctor ≠ witch doctor
Yea. I made a typo. Got it.
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:38 PM   #9
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:40 PM   #10
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
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get drunk for 19 years and get declared dead then no longer have to pay taxes

win?
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Old 10-12-2013, 02:55 PM   #11
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wtf?
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Old 10-12-2013, 03:17 PM   #12
JASONSAUTO JASONSAUTO is offline
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They are still going to want their taxes
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Old 10-12-2013, 03:44 PM   #13
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They are still going to want their taxes
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and dog license fees
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