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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Zarth; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 08-03-2012, 04:24 PM   #286
notorious notorious is offline
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That place makes me want to drown kittens.


I wish I was stupid enough to blindly believe in Casssel. Football would be so much more enjoyable.
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Old 08-03-2012, 04:28 PM   #287
BillSelfsTrophycase BillSelfsTrophycase is offline
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Some of the responses on there...


Quote:
i got this far and stopped skimming

Quote:
However, in an NFL that is classified as a passing first league, he is 3-16 when we put the ball in the air more than we run it.

one of the more pointless statistics iíve ever seen used to criticize cassel.
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Old 08-03-2012, 04:29 PM   #288
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Yep, that was the post that had me shaking my head.


Either he is stuck in the past, or he is too stupid to realize how important passing is now.
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Old 08-03-2012, 04:35 PM   #289
Setsuna Setsuna is offline
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We gotta get this to ESPN. Or NFLN.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:18 PM   #290
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Originally Posted by Setsuna View Post
We gotta get this to ESPN. Or NFLN.
They don't give a shit about a small-market team that has done nothing for 20 years.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:21 PM   #291
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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Originally Posted by notorious View Post
They don't give a shit about a small-market team that has done nothing for 20 years.
If Cassel is here next season, after another year of the same shit, I will make a god damn website with this shit all over it.

With a guestbook for internet rage.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:31 PM   #292
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
If Cassel is here next season, after another year of the same shit, I will make a god damn website with this shit all over it.

With a guestbook for internet rage.
Well at least we can visit you there, since your stupid ass wont be here for a year.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:37 PM   #293
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
If Cassel is here next season, after another year of the same shit, I will make a god damn website with this shit all over it.

With a guestbook for internet rage.
You'd better get started on making that site. Cassel is Pioli's hand picked "franchise" QB, and he isn't going anywhere.

I hate to say it, but I wouldn't be surprised if he actually gets a contract extension. If that happens, this place will implode.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:39 PM   #294
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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Originally Posted by Pawnmower View Post
Well at least we can visit you there, since your stupid ass wont be here for a year.
If Cassel has a 76.6 QB rating, 10 wins ain't happening, buster bucko brown.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:49 PM   #295
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Uploaded this, for the hell of it. All the other clips suck.

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Old 08-05-2012, 12:15 PM   #296
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I hope you're kidding. They both suck, but at least Sanchez has won playoff games.
Sarcasm Meter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
If Cassel is here next season, after another year of the same shit, I will make a god damn website with this shit all over it.

With a guestbook for internet rage.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pawnmower View Post
Well at least we can visit you there, since your stupid ass wont be here for a year.
I'm paying for your subscription so that you may begin your rehabilitation.
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Old 08-13-2012, 02:53 PM   #297
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Hello Kansas City Sirs. Chargers fan here. This made the rounds on our boards and I just wanted to join and give you props on this breakdown. One of the funniest, most thorough football-related things I've ever read. Gifs especially
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Stiglitz is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
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Old 08-13-2012, 03:08 PM   #298
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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Hello Kansas City Sirs. Chargers fan here. This made the rounds on our boards


THE LEGEND GROWS

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Old 08-13-2012, 07:53 PM   #299
DonTellMeShowMe DonTellMeShowMe is offline
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:29 PM   #300
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Cassel's Reckoning is a true realist, brilliant!
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