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Old 07-21-2012, 03:57 AM  
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Alex's Losses; 12-26-2012 at 09:03 AM..
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Old 09-13-2012, 02:04 PM   #361
Chiefs Pantalones Chiefs Pantalones is offline
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I can't remember what good QBing looks anymore...
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Old 09-13-2012, 02:07 PM   #362
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I can't remember what good QBing looks anymore...
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Old 09-13-2012, 02:11 PM   #363
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel>Manning View Post


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Old 09-13-2012, 02:15 PM   #364
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
I really hate this play.

1. Cassel sucks

2. His dependence on Dex sucks

3. Gonna wind up getting Dex killed/throwing picks before long
Complaining? Dex getting killed is probably the only way you win your bet.
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Old 09-13-2012, 02:16 PM   #365
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
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Originally Posted by jd1020 View Post
Complaining? Dex getting killed is probably the only way you win your bet.


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Old 09-13-2012, 02:38 PM   #366
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I cant believe I missed this post!

I approve! Forwarding to my true fan buddies~
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:37 PM   #367
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
It wouldn't be hard to replace your quote tags with spoiler tags. It wouldn't affect the word count at all.

Get over yourself.
Dude, I tried to replace two quote tags with spoiler tags.

It won't let me.

The post is glorious, just deal with it.

EDIT - I am able to replace quote tags with ONE spoiler tag, so I spoiler'd the largest middle section.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:48 PM   #368
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Dude, I tried to replace two quote tags with spoiler tags.

It won't let me.

The post is glorious, just deal with it.

EDIT - I am able to replace quote tags with ONE spoiler tag, so I spoiler'd the largest middle section.
Good enough.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:51 PM   #369
New World Order New World Order is offline
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I can't stop laughing at the gif where Cassel steps DIRECTLY INFRONT of the rushing DE from the Chargers.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:55 PM   #370
L.A. Chieffan L.A. Chieffan is offline
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Bro, every QB is gonna have a couple of plays a game that dont look pretty.

That pass to Hillis was fine I dont even see why you GIFd it
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:59 PM   #371
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan View Post
Bro, every QB is gonna have a couple of plays a game that dont look pretty.

That pass to Hillis was fine I dont even see why you GIFd it
It's just funny, because Cassel loves to throw the ball six yards behind the line of scrimmage to a guy who has no chance of gaining shit.

And he gets his ass beat.

It's the perfect GIF for this thread, and Cassel haters everywhere.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:04 PM   #372
New World Order New World Order is offline
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Matt Casshole is part of the problem, I hate Matt Casshole
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:29 PM   #373
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There was one play that went somewhat unnoticed (because it was during a scoring drive) that Cassel threw the biggest duck ever. It was a total Huard type wobble launcher. I will rewatch the DVR and find out which drive it was.. ****ing hilarious.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:31 PM   #374
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Originally Posted by Molitoth View Post
There was one play that went somewhat unnoticed (because it was during a scoring drive) that Cassel threw the biggest duck ever. It was a total Huard type wobble launcher. I will rewatch the DVR and find out which drive it was.. ****ing hilarious.
If it's the one I think you are talking about, he was lucky he threw a duck because if I remember there was a defender breaking on the route.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:32 PM   #375
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molitoth View Post
There was one play that went somewhat unnoticed (because it was during a scoring drive) that Cassel threw the biggest duck ever. It was a total Huard type wobble launcher. I will rewatch the DVR and find out which drive it was.. ****ing hilarious.
You're thinking about the pass to Breaston to the left sideline.
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