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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Douche Baggins; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:27 AM   #451
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Chance to move to 3-14 against elite QBs today.

Let's do this, Matty.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:31 AM   #452
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Really, when you look at these numbers, I do think "Matty Melt" is clearly the most appriopriate nickname for him.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:42 AM   #453
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
No, the thread is only 6 pages long. Keep it at the top for the media and new visitors.
why is this thread not a sticky?
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:54 AM   #454
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Originally Posted by ILChief View Post
why is this thread not a sticky?
Because then my head would explode from the massive blowjob.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:56 AM   #455
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Really, when you look at these numbers, I do think "Matty Melt" is clearly the most appriopriate nickname for him.
"Gus the Garbage Man" , "Garbage Man Gus" , or jut "Garbage Man". Those are moving up on my leaderboard.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:59 AM   #456
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Gus needs to be disseminated more among the fan base.

The fact that Gus is actually part of his real name is so fitting.

Matt is a name for talented guys. Matt Ryan, Matt Schaub, Matt Stafford, etc.

Gus is a name for garbage heap QBs.
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Old 09-23-2012, 09:00 AM   #457
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Gus needs to be disseminated more among the fan base.

The fact that Gus is actually part of his real name is so fitting.

Matt is a name for talented guys. Matt Ryan, Matt Schaub, Matt Stafford, etc.

Gus is a name for garbage heap QBs.
Agree!
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:17 PM   #458
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45 rushes vs 44 passes. Still 3-17.
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:48 PM   #459
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Chefs actually ran more than they passed today despite Casshole's 44 attempts, so Cassel 3:17 remains untainted.

Matt should be commended on his now sparkling 4-13 record against franchise QBs.
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:53 PM   #460
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OP has been updated.

Quote:
Gus Cassel's Record Against Elite Quarterbacks, By Year:


2012: 1-1
2011: 1-2
2010: 1-3 68 HOT SHIT YARDS
2009: 1-4
2008: 0-3
Note that Matt has filled his quota of "beating one and only one elite QB per year," so we can expect to go 0-6 against:

Rivers x2
Manning x2
Flacco
Roethlisberger
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:56 PM   #461
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
OP has been updated.



Note that Matt has filled his quota of "beating one and only one elite QB per year," so we can expect to go 0-6 against:

Rivers x2
Manning x2
Flacco
Roethlisberger
The way Rivers is playing our D may face rape him. Manning isn't playing all that hot either.

I could see us going .500 vs the two.

I don't like our chances at all vs. the Ravens. The Steelers are erratic. Ben could blow us up or go all meh. Hard to predict...
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:57 PM   #462
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Have faith in the trends people.

0-16 vs teams scoring more than 24.

Saints scored 24 today.

Had they scored a FG in the 4th they would have won. We tied that game by the skin of our teeth.
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:58 PM   #463
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
OP has been updated.



Note that Matt has filled his quota of "beating one and only one elite QB per year," so we can expect to go 0-6 against:

Rivers x2
Manning x2
Flacco
Roethlisberger
Cassel is 2-1 vs Rivers at Arrowhead

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Old 09-23-2012, 11:00 PM   #464
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billay View Post
Cassel is 2-1 vs Rivers at Arrowhead

68 HOT SHIT YARDS AND A FUMBLE FROM THE GODS
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Old 09-24-2012, 12:01 AM   #465
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
OP has been updated.



Note that Matt has filled his quota of "beating one and only one elite QB per year," so we can expect to go 0-6 against:

Rivers x2
Manning x2
Flacco
Roethlisberger
At this pace of improvement he will be unstoppable in 3 or 4 seasons........
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