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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Douche Baggins; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:57 AM   #496
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
Their defense and offense took a step back this year. And Rivers numbers look like Ca$$hole numbers to me...
San Diego is 9th in total defense.

Pretty sure we don't need to be throwing stones considering the Glasshole house we're living in.
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:58 AM   #497
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molitoth View Post
We have had 4 seasons of Cassel sample size.
Three seasons, and his 4th season, three games in, appears to be more of the same.

At this point Occam's Razor is dangerously close to helping Matt bleed out for good.
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Old 09-26-2012, 12:00 PM   #498
L.A. Chieffan L.A. Chieffan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molitoth View Post
We have had 4 seasons of Cassel sample size.
27 and 7 looks pretty damn good, youre right!
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Old 09-26-2012, 12:04 PM   #499
the Talking Can the Talking Can is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Gus Cassel's last 14 games (5-9) as a starter.

250 for 439 (56.9%)
2,156 yards (6.16 YPA)
13 TD
18 INT
44 sacks (1 sack every 9.98 attempts)
68.0 rating

More fun 2012 stats:

29th in TD percentage
24th in INT percentage
and 8 fumbles

for a total of 26 turnovers in 14 games
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Old 09-26-2012, 12:18 PM   #500
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People, get it right. His name is Gus Choadchuggler.
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Old 09-26-2012, 12:20 PM   #501
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthCarlSatan View Post
People, get it right. His name is Gus Choadchuggler.
If we're going to modify his last name, why not his first name.

Pus Casshole
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Old 09-26-2012, 12:23 PM   #502
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
If we're going to modify his last name, why not his first name.

Pus Casshole
Gus Choadchuggler FTW.
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:24 AM   #503
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:53 AM   #504
bevischief bevischief is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
What's a pass?
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Old 09-27-2012, 11:01 AM   #505
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
but coach, he was more than 5 yards down field.
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:04 PM   #506
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Looks like Matt is whining here.

This was after a play where he was hit hard as he released another terribly thrown pass on third down.

Daboll says something like "that shit was terrible" and Matt's body language is "not my fault."

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Old 09-28-2012, 10:17 PM   #507
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Daboll knows cassel is bad, so does Romeo, thus the push to start Brady Quinn will officially begin after casshole's miserable completion % against San Diego on Sunday.

Send Casshole to the labor camps
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Old 09-29-2012, 06:41 AM   #508
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Old 09-29-2012, 09:44 AM   #509
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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Cassel sucking out loud with the game on the line. 2 min left in the 4th.





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Old 09-29-2012, 12:13 PM   #510
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