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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Zarth; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:22 AM   #616
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
I've been commissioned to draft another document detailing our desire to secede from the State of Pioli in which we now live.

Anyone got suggestions for another historical document/speech with which to frame the evidence?
I Have a Dream
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:23 AM   #617
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Give_me..._give_me_Death!
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:24 AM   #618
Pestilence Pestilence is offline
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Does it come in red? I'd really want red instead of white...
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:33 AM   #619
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Truman Doctrine (I think that's what it's referred to)
Jimmy Carter had one during his time; about energy I think
"Delcaration of Conscience" lol
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:37 AM   #620
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
Isn't that just one line?
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:41 AM   #621
Dayze Dayze is offline
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In Fact....Declaration of Conscience would be awesome.
especially given the context of the speech
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Declaration_of_Conscience
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:54 AM   #622
Chiefs Pantalones Chiefs Pantalones is offline
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This is Cassel when we are behind...
Att Comp Pct Yds Avg Lng TD Int 1st 1st% 20+ Sck Rate
147 85 57.8 976 6.6 33 5 7 55 37.4 14 13 69.4

This is Cassel when we are tied...
Att Comp Pct Yds Avg Lng TD Int 1st 1st% 20+ Sck Rate
14 9 64.3 82 5.9 17 0 0 4 28.6 0 0 80.1

He's the trash man.

Take out the papers and the trash, if you don't you don't get no spending cash ($63 million worth).
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:57 AM   #623
KCUnited KCUnited is offline
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Down 4 scores and 7 still at quarterback...
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:01 AM   #624
Molitoth Molitoth is offline
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Down 4 scores and 7 still at quarterback...
nice
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:08 AM   #625
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:30 PM   #626
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
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Most QBs have a highlight reel. Cassel has a lowlight reel.
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When the boobs are a bouncin, the Chiefs will be trouncin
What the Raiders fan has said is true, our customs are different. What Al Davis has said is unimportant, and we do not hear his words.
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:46 PM   #627
Raiderhader Raiderhader is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Isn't that just one line?

No, it is an entire speech. And an absolutely incredible one from one of my favorite revolutionaries. Well worth the read.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:33 PM   #628
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Looking for another reason to hate Cassel? Branden Albert could have been hurt on this interception return.

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Old 10-04-2012, 02:37 PM   #629
Molitoth Molitoth is offline
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Most QBs have a highlight reel. Cassel has a lowlight reel.
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Old 10-04-2012, 03:52 PM   #630
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
I've been commissioned to draft another document detailing our desire to secede from the State of Pioli in which we now live.

Anyone got suggestions for another historical document/speech with which to frame the evidence?
The Monroe Doctrine
Kennedy man on the moon speech.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Logical
When the boobs are a bouncin, the Chiefs will be trouncin
What the Raiders fan has said is true, our customs are different. What Al Davis has said is unimportant, and we do not hear his words.
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