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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Zarth; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:32 PM   #646
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Cliff notes for any media, fans or disgruntled team members viewing the thread. Scott, we know you already know this shit...actually, you may be ignorant, to be honest.

Quote:
In an NFL that is classified as a passing first league, he is 3-18 when we put the ball in the air more than we run it.

Cassel has a career winning percentage of .1875 against playoff teams (3-13), and is 1-9 as Chiefs quarterback.

Against playoff teams, for his Chiefs career, Cassel averages 148.5 yards passing per game.

Cassel has a career winning percentage of 0.277 against winning teams (5-13). He is 2-8 as Chiefs quarterback against winning teams.

During Matt Cassel's BEST SEASON (2010) he posted a lower deep completion percentage than 2011 Tim Tebow. He has completed 25.7 percent of his passes over 20 yards for his career.

During 2008, Cassel was sacked once every 11 pass attempts. Behind the exact same line Tom Brady was sacked once every 35 attempts. Cassel was also sacked once every 12 attempts behind the 5th rated pass blocking line in Kansas City.

Cassel has a 5-8 record against top 10 defenses and averages 189 yards per game with a TD/INT ratio of 10/13. His teams average 16.6 offensive points per game. His Chiefs teams average 12 offensive points per game.

Cassel has a 4-14 record against Philip Rivers, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning, Tony Romo, Matt Schaub, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan and Matthew Stafford. In these 18 games, his teams have averaged 16 offensive points per game.

As Chiefs starter, Cassel is 0-17 against teams that score more than 24 points.

As a Chief, in games where Cassel's team rushes for less than 135 yards he is 5-18. In the five wins, Cassel's defense holds the opposition to an average of 15.4 points.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:04 PM   #647
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Cliff notes for any media, fans or disgruntled team members viewing the thread. Scott, we know you already know this shit...actually, you may be ignorant, to be honest.
basically in a nutshell Cassel can't keep up with the good QB's in the NFL that are able to orchestrate points for an offense.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:07 AM   #648
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
I've been commissioned to draft another document detailing our desire to secede from the State of Pioli in which we now live.

Anyone got suggestions for another historical document/speech with which to frame the evidence?
Emancipation proclaimation.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:58 AM   #649
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoMoChief View Post
basically in a nutshell Cassel can't keep up with the good QB's in the NFL that are able to orchestrate points for an offense.
Yes, but you need data in order to not sound like an irrational fan.
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Old 10-06-2012, 07:32 AM   #650
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Cliff notes for any media, fans or disgruntled team members viewing the thread. Scott, we know you already know this shit...actually, you may be ignorant, to be honest.
And he is still starting...
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Old 10-06-2012, 07:39 AM   #651
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High Tech is Sorcery and the people who are really powerful are literally telling people to commit crimes using the psychic interspace created by the WWW and Wireless. They are controlling peoples actions like drones . The two things are deeply intertwined. The more man's brain interfaces with machines the creepier it gets. They use brains separate from a human body in a supercomputer and you have The Image of the Beast. The military has been doing this since the 50s
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Old 10-06-2012, 09:10 AM   #652
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Ricky Stanzi is real excited for Matt Cassel!

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Old 10-06-2012, 10:15 AM   #653
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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This one's for 'Hamas' Jenkins.

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Old 10-06-2012, 10:17 AM   #654
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:43 AM   #655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
This one's for 'Hamas' Jenkins.
Thats hilarious. I dont think ive ever seen a hail mary from that short of distance before??
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:46 PM   #656
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Ricky Stanzi is real excited for Matt Cassel!

Is Stanzi being a smart ass here? Any chance he doesn't care for Cassel? It appears as if Cassel just biffed on something and Stanzi is telling him "nice job" and doesn't necessarily appear upbeat after saying it.
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:47 PM   #657
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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That was after Charles' TD run.

Ricky has been doing that to Matt since preseason. After every score.

In other news, the last GIF in the OP has been updated with this slightly higher quality version.


Last edited by Count Zarth; 10-06-2012 at 12:52 PM..
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:30 PM   #658
OnTheWarpath58 OnTheWarpath58 is offline
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
That was after Charles' TD run.

Ricky has been doing that to Matt since preseason. After every score.

In other news, the last GIF in the OP has been updated with this slightly higher quality version.

3rd and 12, and he's throwing 7 yards short of the sticks - and still airmailing his receiver.
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:32 PM   #659
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 View Post
3rd and 12, and he's throwing 7 yards short of the sticks - and still airmailing his receiver.


The play would have gotten a first down.

Weis designed a slapdick play for his slapdick QB and slapdick couldn't slap the dick.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:24 PM   #660
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Ricky Stanzi is real excited for Matt Cassel!

what you see

"Good job"

What he finished with
"Good job dumbass"
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