Life Family sayings that stuck with you. - Page 11

**KcMizzou** · 10-05-2012, 09:31 PM

So, tonight I've been on the computer a lot. My younger son's dying to get on.

When I'm watching football all day Sunday, he's dying to get on the TV so he can play 360. We go through this all the time. Whatever I'm doing is much cooler that what he's doing. (unless I'm in bed reading)

My mom (Who is awesome) once said to me, "If I ate a shit sandwich, you'd want a bite." It totally makes sense now.

Bewbies · 10-06-2012, 10:33 PM

The time I helped my dad buy a suit for my wedding. He looked at the price, and the salesman:

"My butthole ain't lined in gold!"

I could share about the time I was 12 and my dad told me his current wife's (his third) pussy smelled like a rotten toilet.

Or the time he told me I could have any one of a million dads but only one mom. My mom found great offense in this, my dad failed to see what he'd really said.

Or my youngest brother being about 10 and complaining about his teacher. "Is she feeding you? Is she ****ing you? Then she don't matter...."

"Buy you books and send you to school and all you think about is ****ing the teacher..." My dad told me when I was in 5th grade.

I can go all day...

Raiderhader · 10-06-2012, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munkey

Wanna knuckle sandwich?

My grand dad used to mess with us by saying, "I'll knock the fart outta you".

**CosmicPal** · 10-06-2012, 10:36 PM

Son, you have illusions of grandeur.

Raiderhader · 10-06-2012, 10:37 PM

"Who hit him in the ass with a sour apple this morning?"

scott free · 10-06-2012, 10:54 PM

What do you want, egg in your beer?

AZORChiefFan · 10-07-2012, 01:20 AM

My mom would say this "Now who's ass is the blackest?" when pointing out she was right and the other person was wrong.

My dad would say "That's the gubment ****ing you in the ass with the big green weenie"

Dad: 'Son ****ing your mom was like ****ing a wet sponge'.

brorth · 10-07-2012, 06:44 AM

You want fair?

Go to Sedalia in August.

mesmith31 · 10-07-2012, 07:27 AM

"Son, I've done square danced twice in towns you ain't even heard of before!"

shitgoose · 10-07-2012, 07:31 AM

Gramps-

You're ****ing this cat I'm just holding the tail..

The only way you could be dumber is to be bigger

I'm fuller than a junk yard goat (after a large meal)

Dayze · 10-07-2012, 07:33 AM

Oh, when my dad will sneeze really loudly a few times in a row, he'll yell "shit fire"! At the end of the last sneeze.

.....now I do that shit.

Braincase · 10-07-2012, 08:28 AM

'Want' in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up faster.

manchambo · 10-07-2012, 08:46 AM

My grandpa used to say "that's like feeding strawberries to a jackass." for example, after Roseanne sang the star spangled banner, he said that watching her was like feeding strawberries to a jackass.

He also said "cripe Pete" a lot. I say that now.

KChiefs1 · 10-07-2012, 09:01 AM

Dad to me: You don't know shit from Shinola.

Dayze · 10-07-2012, 09:04 AM

When trying to juggle too many things/priorities my dad would say "it's like stuffing 5 pounds of shit in a 3 pound bucket"

Or "up to your ass in alligators"

10-05-2012, 09:31 PM
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $120267380	Family sayings that stuck with you. So, tonight I've been on the computer a lot. My younger son's dying to get on. When I'm watching football all day Sunday, he's dying to get on the TV so he can play 360. We go through this all the time. Whatever I'm doing is much cooler that what he's doing. (unless I'm in bed reading) My mom (Who is awesome) once said to me, "If I ate a shit sandwich, you'd want a bite." It totally makes sense now.
Posts: 52,889

10-06-2012, 10:33 PM	#151
Bewbies The "Franchise" - Seriously. Join Date: Apr 2010 Casino cash: $57661	The time I helped my dad buy a suit for my wedding. He looked at the price, and the salesman: "My butthole ain't lined in gold!" I could share about the time I was 12 and my dad told me his current wife's (his third) pussy smelled like a rotten toilet. Or the time he told me I could have any one of a million dads but only one mom. My mom found great offense in this, my dad failed to see what he'd really said. Or my youngest brother being about 10 and complaining about his teacher. "Is she feeding you? Is she **ing you? Then she don't matter...." "Buy you books and send you to school and all you think about is **ing the teacher..." My dad told me when I was in 5th grade. I can go all day...
Posts: 5,753

10-06-2012, 10:36 PM	#153
CosmicPal Learn it. Know it. Live it. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Casino cash: $1086039	Son, you have illusions of grandeur. __________________ - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money.
Posts: 10,824

10-06-2012, 10:54 PM	#155
scott free ask for it by name Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: district 6 Casino cash: $3129724	What do you want, egg in your beer?
Posts: 17,993

10-07-2012, 01:20 AM	#156
AZORChiefFan MVP Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Portland, OR Casino cash: $74887	My mom would say this "Now who's ass is the blackest?" when pointing out she was right and the other person was wrong. My dad would say "That's the gubment **ing you in the ass with the big green weenie" Dad: 'Son ing your mom was like **ing a wet sponge'.
Posts: 9,932

10-07-2012, 06:44 AM	#157
brorth Starter Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: lobation Casino cash: $51804	You want fair? Go to Sedalia in August.
Posts: 794

10-07-2012, 07:27 AM	#158
mesmith31 Starter Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: West Des Moines, Iowa Casino cash: $9552	"Son, I've done square danced twice in towns you ain't even heard of before!"
Posts: 326

10-07-2012, 07:31 AM	#159
shitgoose Veteran Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: WHITCHITA Casino cash: $30609	Gramps- You're ****ing this cat I'm just holding the tail.. The only way you could be dumber is to be bigger I'm fuller than a junk yard goat (after a large meal) __________________
Posts: 1,122

10-07-2012, 07:33 AM	#160
Dayze Poop Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $1178680	Oh, when my dad will sneeze really loudly a few times in a row, he'll yell "shit fire"! At the end of the last sneeze. .....now I do that shit.
Posts: 15,590

10-07-2012, 08:28 AM	#161
Braincase Captain Nemo Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Brownbackistan Casino cash: $1074503	'Want' in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up faster. __________________ BrainCase Screw it... I'm going to the brewery.
Posts: 14,075

10-07-2012, 08:46 AM	#162
manchambo Starter Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $16822	My grandpa used to say "that's like feeding strawberries to a jackass." for example, after Roseanne sang the star spangled banner, he said that watching her was like feeding strawberries to a jackass. He also said "cripe Pete" a lot. I say that now.
Posts: 384

10-07-2012, 09:01 AM	#163
KChiefs1 ChiefsPlanet Pick'em Champ! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Mid-Missouri Casino cash: $92876	Dad to me: You don't know shit from Shinola.
Posts: 7,499

10-07-2012, 09:04 AM	#164
Dayze Poop Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $1178680	When trying to juggle too many things/priorities my dad would say "it's like stuffing 5 pounds of shit in a 3 pound bucket" Or "up to your ass in alligators"
Posts: 15,590

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