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Old 12-23-2012, 11:52 PM  
Jim Jones Jim Jones is offline
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Should I confront my fiance over text messages I found?

I guarantee this thread isn't going to be about what the thread title might have led you to think it's about. Sorry about that...

Anyway -- was reading text messages on my fiance's cell phone (Yes, I do that, I'm a privacy invader...but past relationships have led me to be a little paranoid).

I read texts between her and her sister and mom, basically trashing my family, which is who we're spending Christmas Eve with. It wasn't just like your usual, "not really looking forward to going to the in-laws", but it was actually pretty vicious stuff. She was trashing my mom's cooking, basically saying she doesn't like my mom at all (my family has been AMAZING to her)..complaining that all we do is "sit around and talk with a sports game on the TV), trashing my parents house, my sister and her "annoying kid". It was really nasty stuff and a side of her I haven't really seen before.

Question is -- do I confront her? This is all that's gonna be on my mind tomorrow, but confronting her means I have to admit to reading her text messages. I don't know how I can move forward knowing she's been talking all this shit about my family though.
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Old 12-24-2012, 04:54 PM   #361
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Originally Posted by frazod View Post
My mother-in-law IS a shitty cook. And my wife already knows it because she's eaten much more of her cooking than I ever will.

Can't wait for tomorrow's runny/lumpy mashed potatoes.
Suck it up Tim and use extra gravy.
My advise is to let the text messages go. It is the season to forgive and nothing good is going to come out of confronting her about it. Hell for all we know maybe because her family hates his family and talks shit on them that she's just playing along. Doubtful I know. But hell just let it go.
Oh and stay away from her ****ing phone.

Last edited by alanm; 12-24-2012 at 05:02 PM..
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Old 12-24-2012, 04:58 PM   #362
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Originally Posted by tmh View Post
Bring it up in a way thats non accusatory. For instance on the way home say something to the effect of I appreciate that you keep your cool around my family since its obvious they irritate you with moms cooking and my sisters rowdy kid. That will take her aback for a few seconds while she try's to figure out how you were aware. Watch her reaction. You have a 50-50 chance of her admitting to it or doubling down on the lie. React accordingly. Don't admit to anything about reading the text if she swears she doesn't feel that way. There is no use bringing it up at that point anyway
Why bother with these silly games?
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:10 PM   #363
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Jones View Post
I guarantee this thread isn't going to be about what the thread title might have led you to think it's about. Sorry about that...

Anyway -- was reading text messages on my fiance's cell phone (Yes, I do that, I'm a privacy invader...but past relationships have led me to be a little paranoid).

I read texts between her and her sister and mom, basically trashing my family, which is who we're spending Christmas Eve with. It wasn't just like your usual, "not really looking forward to going to the in-laws", but it was actually pretty vicious stuff. She was trashing my mom's cooking, basically saying she doesn't like my mom at all (my family has been AMAZING to her)..complaining that all we do is "sit around and talk with a sports game on the TV), trashing my parents house, my sister and her "annoying kid". It was really nasty stuff and a side of her I haven't really seen before.

Question is -- do I confront her? This is all that's gonna be on my mind tomorrow, but confronting her means I have to admit to reading her text messages. I don't know how I can move forward knowing she's been talking all this shit about my family though.
That is a classy ****ing group you run with.
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:17 PM   #364
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Not reading the thread, but I ****ing hate my wife's family but my wife knows that.

Soooooooooo....I can't tell you what to do.
Always so much help aren't you? Feliz navidad pendejo! Enjoy your tamales...I'm set to dig in right now.
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:51 PM   #365
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I was going to say this.

Here you sit. Venting your frustrations to a bunch of dumbasses ( we're chiefs fans after all. Except setsuna, he's just a dumbass.). Try to gain some perspective. If its just venting, you're doing the same thing. If she hates them, you probably have some work to do.
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:04 PM   #366
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Originally Posted by KC native View Post
Not reading the thread, but I ****ing hate my wife's family but my wife knows that.

Soooooooooo....I can't tell you what to do.
I'll take a wild guess that they really don't warm up to you either, Mr Congeniality.
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:13 PM   #367
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What you do is mix up some arsenic and fruit punch. You drink a big solo cup and then give her one.
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:59 PM   #368
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Originally Posted by Saul Good View Post
There is nothing wrong with her not liking your family as long as she is nice to them. Hell, it speaks to her character that she spends time with them and hides her dislike so well that you had no idea that she didn't like them. She isn't engaged to them. All she has to do is get through several family outings a year, and she can go on her merry way.

You, on the other hand, are creepy. I've met several people who do stuff like this, and they are all insecure, immature people who can't handle adult relationships. You aren't ready for marriage.
I see it more or less this way.

The OP is a sneak and a snoop. If he visited my home I'd inventory the medicine cabinet.

"Trust issues" sounds like code for paranoid, insecure baby man dude.

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Old 12-24-2012, 07:05 PM   #369
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Originally Posted by tmh View Post
Bring it up in a way thats non accusatory. For instance on the way home say something to the effect of I appreciate that you keep your cool around my family since its obvious they irritate you with moms cooking and my sisters rowdy kid. That will take her aback for a few seconds while she try's to figure out how you were aware. Watch her reaction. You have a 50-50 chance of her admitting to it or doubling down on the lie. React accordingly. Don't admit to anything about reading the text if she swears she doesn't feel that way. There is no use bringing it up at that point anyway
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say the food was trash and how annoyed you were by them, DO NOT bring up the txt msg at all.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:08 PM   #370
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If she doesn't like your family and can't be honest with you about it then end it. Only problems lie ahead.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:38 PM   #371
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You need to make sure you apologize for reading her texts but acknowledge you do it because of past issues you have had. I assume she knows about them? Communication is important and if you feel you can't speak freely that should be addressed.

It is also possible she feels bad for not liking your family and has always wanted to say something but was scared that you would get really upset with her. If you do have a good relationship I would guess she feels guilty and also might be wanting more communication. You have to approach it with an attempt to understand her feelings and position as well.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:42 PM   #372
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JFC the PUSSIFICATION continues.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:29 PM   #373
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Originally Posted by okcchief View Post
If she doesn't like your family and can't be honest with you about it then end it. Only problems lie ahead.
This. She's shit, goodbye.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:50 PM   #374
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This. She's shit, goodbye.
Why is she shit? Maybe his family sucks. She isn't obligated to like them. She is only obligated to treat them with respect. Venting to her sister in confidence isn't breaching her duty.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:11 PM   #375
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