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Old 12-29-2012, 02:43 PM  
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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WTF ... The dreaded Sneeze/Shart

Holiday inevitably leads to catching a cold from being around all the extra people.

I've been coming down with the sniffles and sneezing a lot.

I'm sitting on the side of my bed and feel the sneeze coming. At this point, sneezing feels good so i let it come.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo .... let a huge sneeze fly


I immediately know that something is wrong and clamp the butt cheeks closed.

Dam ... that sneeze/fart sounded and felt way too wet.

Waddle to the toilet and let it go ... nothing but brown water. Not diarrhea ... literally brown water.

Then i look down and see this wet spot on my underwear. ****!!

Then i see the same on my sweat pants. Holy ****!!

I take them off and go back to bedroom to get new clothing and another dam spot on the bed sheets.

What the ****ing hell ... i'm blowing a water spout out of my ass.




am i dying?
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:48 PM   #16
Flachief58 Flachief58 is offline
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Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:51 PM   #17
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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The ol unintended poop

When it happens to me, its usually because i'm trying to fart and get more than i expected, this is usually after a night of drinking.
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:58 PM   #18
bevischief bevischief is offline
....
 
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Butt plug.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:02 PM   #19
GloryDayz GloryDayz is offline
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GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.GloryDayz is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:06 PM   #20
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Laz peed out his butt...Laz peed out his butt...
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:13 PM   #21
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Check your self into a nursing home.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:15 PM   #22
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
Is winter over yet?
 
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Just did this very thing about 2 1/2 weeks ago after a hard night drinking. And i was 40 miles from home. **** my life.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:17 PM   #23
ghak99 ghak99 is offline
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I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit from this damn cold.
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ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.ghak99 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:22 PM   #24
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:30 PM   #25
Mrs. Loopner Mrs. Loopner is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Laz View Post



am i dying?
I don't know but you're killin me!!!
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Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Mrs. Loopner has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:51 PM   #26
Idahojim Idahojim is offline
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Sharts

As Jack Nicholson's character said in "The Bucket List," there are rules for older men:

1. Never pass a restroom without using it.
2. Never waste an erection.
3. Never trust a fart.

Words to live by.
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Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.Idahojim is not part of the Right 53.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:57 PM   #27
Bewbies Bewbies is offline
Where's the flag ref?
 
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In my house this event is called a 'snart'
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:27 PM   #28
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Oh, ****. I laughed my ass off at this. No worries. Twice a year you're allowed to "Brett".
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Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:35 PM   #29
Flachief58 Flachief58 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bevischief View Post
Butt plug.
You ever seen what one of those can do to a wall with 200 psi of snot rocket propelling it? It's not pretty I tell ya
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Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Flachief58 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:52 PM   #30
SomeRandomGirl SomeRandomGirl is offline
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No shit....


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In my house this event is called a 'snart'
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SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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