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Old 01-15-2013, 04:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 08-09-2013, 01:25 PM   #196
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St. Cloud couple accused of burning daughter, 6, as punishment

A six-year-old girl is recovering from severe burns after her mother and boyfriend admit to pouring boiling hot water on the girl, as a form of punishment.

The mother worked at a daycare.

Investigators said the incident happened at a St. Cloud home earlier this week.

The mother, Yadzia Ivelisse Morales, would not answer any questions as she was escorted to jail, but her boyfriend, Roberto Junior Lopez, did answer some questions.

“I do feel bad about it,” said Lopez.

Police said Morales microwaved a bowl of water until it was boiling. Then she and her boyfriend both confess to pouring that boiling hot water over the mother’s six-year-old daughter to punish her.

“My understanding is that the child was crying and misbehaving, and just wouldn’t stop crying, so this was their way of correcting that behavior,” said St. Cloud Police Sergeant Denise Roberts.

Investigators said it was Roberto Lopez’s mother who noticed the burns while babysitting and notified police.

Despite his confession, Lopez denies actually pouring the water over the girl.

“I was not inside the bathroom. That’s all I’m gonna say,” said Lopez.

Investigators said the girl was burned on her neck, face and back. The six-year-old is continuing to recover at Arnold Palmer Children’s Hospital in Orlando with second and third degree burns over 30 percent of her body.

According to police, Morales works at The Shepherd's Little Family Child Care Center in St Cloud. We reached out to the daycare for a comment and we are waiting to hear back.

Police said this is not the first time the couple has punished the girl in this manner. They said just a week ago, they made the girl stand in a shower under extremely hot water.

“It’s extremely horrific, it’s hard for our officers to deal with, it’s hard for the community to hear. Unfortunately they do happen,” said Sgt. Roberts.

The couple faces several child abuse charges and they are locked up in the Osceola County jail without bond.

The Department of Children and Families is also investigating this case. The child has been placed into protective custody DCF is looking into other family members as possible custodians after the child is released from the hospital.
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Old 08-09-2013, 01:26 PM   #197
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Derek Medina Posts Photo Of Wife's Body, Murder Confession To Facebook (PHOTO) (UPDATED)

A horrifying crime scene in South Miami hit Facebook Thursday when a man posted a photo of his dead wife -- and a confession that he had killed her.

Derek Medina posted the photo some time around noon Thursday, with the words "Rip Jennifer Alfonso." The image shows his wife's leggings-clad body slumped backwards on the floor in what appears to be the couple's kitchen. Her face and left arm are covered in blood.

"You will see me in the news," reads a confessional status update posted minutes before the photo:

Im going to prison or death sentence for killing my wife love you guys miss you guys takecare Facebook people you will see me in the news" my wife was punching me and I am not going to stand anymore with the abuse so I did what I did I hope u understand me "
According to an arrest affidavit by Miami-Dade Police, Medina told investigators he and Alfonso had a verbal dispute around 10:00 a.m., during which he grabbed a gun from a closet and pointed it at his wife. She reportedly told Medina she was leaving him before the dispute moved downstairs.

There, Medina told police, Alfonso began punching him. He retrieved the gun from upstairs and again confronted his wife, prompting her to pick up a knife. He told detectives that when he took the knife away, his wife began hitting him again, at which point he shot her several times.

After first changing his clothes and making contact with relatives, according to investigators, Medina drove to the South Miami Police Department and turned himself in.

When officers responded to the home, they found Alfonso dead from apparent gunshot wounds.

They also found her 10-year-old daughter upstairs, physically unharmed. She was removed from the house covered in a blanket, according to WSVN.

Miami New Times reports Medina has authored a number of self-help e-books, including one titled "How I Saved Someone's Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication."

A neighbor told NBC6 that Medina "walks around with a concealed gun, so he tries to be the neighborhood watchguy."

"He's always there late night and he's weird to me," said Yoshi Dade. "He's always kind of looking around and trying to be a hero."

Medina's father told WSVN that the couple had a troubled relationship, and had remarried last year after previously getting a divorce.

Incredibly, Medina's grisly posts remained published on Facebook until just before 5 p.m. Thursday, when they appeared to have been removed.

"The content was reported to us," a Facebook spokeswoman told The Associated Press. "We took action on the profile -- removing the content and disabling the profile, and we reached out to law enforcement. We take action on all content that violates our terms, which are clearly laid out on our site."

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Old 08-09-2013, 01:34 PM   #198
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The fast food was not fast enough.

An argument over who was first in line at a McDonald's drive-thru ended with a man stabbed in the butt and a woman on her way to jail.

The commotion began when Rebecca Simmons, 45, reportedly attempted to cut ahead of Mohammad Abukhder, 35, as they were starting their Wednesday morning with a McDonald's breakfast in Riverview, Fla., WTSP reports.

Abukhder complained, causing Simmons to exit her car holding a small knife and puncture the hood of Abukhder's 2000 Honda Civic, according to ABC Action News. Then, as Abukhder tried to grab Simmons' keys so she could not leave, she allegedly stabbed him in the right buttocks.

Abukhder suffered a small puncture and did not require medical attention.

Simmons was arrested and brought to the Orient Road Jail on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage, according to the Tampa Tribune.
When a woman stabs your car in the hood, you should just let her cut in front of you. Just a suggestion there Abukhder.
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Old 08-16-2013, 01:11 PM   #199
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Thanks for the mammaries . . . but no thanks.

Ronda Beckman was arrested in Florida after allegedly taking off her shirt at a bar, exposing her breasts and howling, "It's titty time!"

Beckman bared all at Captain Jax Sandbar and Grill in Fort Pierce on Aug. 2 and refused to put her clothes back on, prompting a call to police, according to TC Palm.

A bar manager told the site that Beckman was on the dance floor when police arrived. She's accused of calling an officer "a piece of sh-t and an asshole." She was charged with indecent exposure, lewd lascivious behavior and disorderly intoxication.

The bare-breasted ballyhoo didn't stop there.

In the back of a patrol car, according to an arrest affidavit, Beckman was kicking and screaming. She's quoted by police as saying, again, "It's titty time, I'll take everything off. I am getting arrested for indecent exposure! I'll give you something to look at baby! I'll take everything off! Oh yes baby I'll take it all off OK."

Beckman, who's listed as homeless, also allegedly called the cop a "f--king whore," Barstool Sports reports.
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Old 08-20-2013, 10:30 AM   #200
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She didn't get to taste the ocean, but she got a taste of life behind bars.

Leyla Denise Aykin is accused of driving under the influence after an officer pulled her over in Florida while her arm and foot were out the window last week. When the 27-year-old Orlando woman was asked where she was going, she allegedly told the arresting officer that she was off to "to taste the ocean." But that's not the only thing she had a craving for.

"[She] wanted to taste me and gaze through me," the arresting officer wrote in his report, according to the Sun Sentinel.

The bizarre encounter began last Thursday when a Florida Highway Patrol trooper spotted Aykin's Ford Focus doing 87 mph in a 70 mph zone. Aykin allegedly slowed to 27 mph -- her extremities still hanging out the window -- and let go of a scarf onto the highway.

She was pulled over and exited her car, "appearing high" with a "lights on but nobody home" look on her face, the trooper told the site. She reportedly outstretched her arms before she knelt on the road and said a Muslim prayer, according to the Sun Sentinel.

When asked if she wanted the officer to contact someone on her behalf, she reportedly replied, "Jesus."

Her blood-alcohol level was normal, but a drug recognition expert deemed her to be high on something, according to Barstool Sports.

Aykin was booked on a DUI charge.

Her Facebook page features similarly incoherent rants:
Has determined, based on personal experience and extensive research, framed with the mindset of the Teachings of, myriad Teachers which abound and needn't herein be named, regarding living with Heart, Heaaarrrrt, really living, fearlessly living with all the shit and piss and pain and muckh and love and beauty and glory and tears and come and snot and earthy gritty grainy brow glisteningness, like totally as seen on TeeVee, the moment by moment prayer dance sacrifice of all thisness, like the perfect pounce dancing of a fox hop-hunting in the snow I've never quite firsthand seen but would so endlessly dream, all of this astonishingly wreathed by a host of gentle trees, that bipolar (or "by winning") people are innate warriors. There are reasons for warrior classes, biological reasons. Just ask, I demand.
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Old 08-21-2013, 02:55 PM   #201
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A naked man with one leg died Monday after he tried to break into several homes by throwing objects into windows.

Norbert Chabannes, 55, who has a history of cocaine-related arrests, was seen in his neighborhood of Perdido Key, Fla. at about 5 p.m. crawling across a yard, according to the Pensacola News Journal. He reportedly cut his arm while attempting to break into his next-door neighbor's home. When he was unsuccessful, he crawled across the street to another woman's house and tried to throw a brick through the window.

That's when a sheriff's deputy arrived. When the officer tried to calm Chabannes down, he collapsed. He was pronounced dead at the scene after resuscitation attempts, WBPF reports.

A cause of death has not yet been released, but authorities are investigating "because Chabannes died while involved in a confrontation with a deputy," according to the station.

Chabannes had been arrested at least five times since 2010, according to the Escambia County Sheriff's Office website. Most of the arrests involved cocaine and drug paraphernalia possession, some of them while driving.
Neighbors told the News Journal that Chabannes' strange actions weren't surprising to them. Officers frequented the man's home.

"To me, it’s just all been a matter of time," said Irma Teal, whose house Chabannes tried to break into on Monday. "I’ve always worried because of [my mom’s] age and I have a paraplegic brother in the house as well. That’s always been our concern the last seven years."
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:36 PM   #202
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Stevie Glasspool, Florida Teacher, Solicited Sex From Students On Facebook

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3806175.html

Four days into the new school year and a South Florida teacher has already been arrested for inappropriate behavior.

Stevie Glasspool, 31, of Boca Raton, Fla., allegedly solicited sex from teens students enrolled at her former place of employment, Mavericks Charter High School in Pompano Beach.

Police say Glasspool invited the four teens, ages 15 to 17, to a sleepover at her Boca Raton, enticing them with offers of marijuana.

Her invitation was "overt" in sexual nature, according to police. They say she wrote: “I don’t want you to fall in love with me but I also don’t want you to hit it and quit it either.”

Glasspool was fired from her teaching job at Mavericks back in May 2012, according to a release from the Broward Sheriff's Office.

She most recently worked at Hollywood Academy of Arts & Science for the current school year.

Glasspool has been charged with soliciting a child for unlawful sexual conduct using computer services or devices. Her bond is set at $25,000.

Detectives believe there could be more victims. Anyone with information on this case is asked to contact BSO Detective Ann Suter at 954-321-4689 or Broward Crime Stoppers, anonymously, at 954-493- 8477 or online.

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Old 08-26-2013, 10:49 AM   #203
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A Florida man is suspected of threatening to kill his wife during an argument over who would change the cat litter.

Avelino Urbano Garon, 59, was arrested on Aug. 18 and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.

Police say the couple were arguing over whose responsibility it was to freshen up the kitty litter, when Garon allegedly threatened to throw their cat against the wall. Then he picked up a knife and threatened to kill his wife, WESH reports.

When deputies arrived, Garon argued that it was his wife's responsibility to clean the litter box. They arrested him on the spot.

He was released this week on a $1,000 bond, the Associated Press reports.
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Old 08-26-2013, 11:51 AM   #204
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Ain't that the shits
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:31 PM   #205
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Florida news has been especially squirrely lately....

http://tinyurl.com/kbv5yco

A man in Vero Beach, Fla., has been accused of assaulting his neighbor for a reason that sounds nutty: The victim kept feeding the neighborhood squirrels.

Eugene Oates, 57, was arrested Saturday for battery after he allegedly tried to force his neighbor, Ernest Willette, out of his home.

Oates was angry because Willette kept feeding peanuts to the squirrels. The shells apparently ended up on Oates' lawn and driveway, WPBF.com reported.

At point during the squirrelly skirmish, "Oates allegedly grabbed Willette's arm and tried to pull him outside," TCPalm.com reported. "The squirrels could not immediately be reached."

Willette told the responding officers that he grabbed the door frame to prevent Oates from pulling him outside. They noticed two scratches on the victim,, VeroNews.com reported.

Oates was arrested and booked, and was later released from the Indian River County jail on a $500 bond.
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Old 08-26-2013, 04:40 PM   #206
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just shoot the sick ****er in the head now

You're focusing too much on his desire to rape and cannibalize, and not enough on his volunteer work in the church. You have to take the whole picture into account.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:05 AM   #207
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This isn't your typical meat spin.
http://tinyurl.com/lekaktm

John Earl Eutzy, 37, is accused of taking himself for a spin outside a convenience store in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., the North West Florida Daily News reported. And no, it was not a Kum & Go.

Police say Eutzy was standing outside the store Tuesday when he unzipped his pants and began masturbating. When he started, he was facing the store, but then rotated his body so that he was facing the road, then turned back towards the store. According to the NWF Daily News, Eutzy "changed his position several times."

Deputies also noted that a witness had to escort a woman and frightened child to their car.

Eutzy, who authorities say was intoxicated, was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition.

Apparently convenience stores are especially convenient for picking up a public masturbation charge. In February, police said a man caught masturbating outside of a Pennsylvania convenience store told them his penis was only out because his pants had shrunk.

An even more convenient place to get arrested for public masturbation is right at the police office. Darrell Moore allegedly demonstrated this in July, when Omaha cops say he waltzed into police headquarters, claimed he witnessed a murder, then promptly began masturbating.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:11 AM   #208
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http://tinyurl.com/k5mjsdt

A Florida man is suspected of threatening to kill his wife during an argument over who would change the cat litter.

Avelino Urbano Garon, 59, was arrested on Aug. 18 and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.

Police say the couple were arguing over whose responsibility it was to freshen up the kitty litter, when Garon allegedly threatened to throw their cat against the wall. Then he picked up a knife and threatened to kill his wife, WESH reports.

When deputies arrived, Garon argued that it was his wife's responsibility to clean the litter box. They arrested him on the spot.

He was released this week on a $1,000 bond, the Associated Press reports.
This story stinks to high heaven...
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Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:13 AM   #209
Halfcan Halfcan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
You're focusing too much on his desire to rape and cannibalize, and not enough on his volunteer work in the church. You have to take the whole picture into account.
yep my bad- I am soo judgemental sometimes.. I really need to work on that.
Posts: 23,767
Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Halfcan Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 09-06-2013, 09:09 AM   #210
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Hey, I'm just standin' my ground here.... BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!

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Attorneys for a man who police said shot three people at the culmination of a neighborhood feud have filed a motion demanding a jury determine whether William T. Woodward’s murder charges should be dismissed under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law.

The motion says Woodward had been the target of a variety of threats and “exercised his right under Florida law to defend himself and his family that night.”

“It’s probably best that you don’t make threats against people, they may take you seriously,” said Robert Berry, an attorney representing Woodward.
Officials say Woodward snuck up on a Labor Day barbecue and opened fire at about 12:30 a.m. on Sept. 3, 2012.

Police arrived and found Gary Lee Hembree, Roger Picior and Bruce Timothy Blake all had been shot. Hembree and Picior died of their injuries. Blake, who was hit 11 times, survived.

Woodward, 44, is accused of two counts of first-degree felony murder and attempted first-degree felony murder.

Before the incident, police had responded numerous times to the ongoing dispute, according to a release. Woodward and Hembree went to court to discuss the dispute before Judge John D. Moxley. Moxley did not issue an injunction.

The motion filed by Woodward’s attorneys says in the hours prior to the shooting, all three men were yelling at Woodward and that this type of behavior had been ongoing for over a month.

In the hours before the shooting, the men called him names, and said “Come on boys. We’re going to get him. We’re going to get him, all three of us.”

Florida law allows people to use deadly force to protect against “imminent death or…prevent the imminent commission of a forcible felony.”
So what is “imminent”?

Assistant State Attorney Wayne Holmes explained that imminence in a Stand Your Ground case would be determined based on the facts and circumstances of the case – there isn’t a concrete legal definition.

“As with many things in not only the law, but life in general, you’ve got to have a certain amount of flexibility,” he said, later adding: “There’s a certain amount of ability to take the facts, whatever they may be and apply it to that law. Sometimes it fits perfectly; sometimes it doesn’t fit at all.”
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